Isn't this sad?!

[bestcoder]

I am South Korean
and I'm sure we have some custom and practices that foreigners find absurd and difficult to understand.
I'd like to give an example but nothing comes to mind at the moment.
If you know of any, you are totally welcome to mock us about it.
But for the moment, please allow me to tell you about something I find hard to understand regarding the American gem culture.

The following is from a well-known online Diamond company's website that also sells moissanite.



They have a technology that makes their moissanite products look more diamond-like?!

And the following is from a Whiteflash guide on J color diamonds.



An even more complete job of obscuring the view that reveals the yellow tint of the diamond?!

Gem stones should be about beauty, joy, celebration, admiration, and above all, love.
Why are they used to trick other people?!
Our products help you trick people into thinking that you have a diamond not moissanite?!
If you're not rich enough, just buy a low color diamond. Don't worry. There's a way to trick people into thinking that you own a colorless diamond not a yellow tinted one?!
It's so sad.

 

[dk168]

Don't understand why that is considered as "sad" for someone who would like his/her diamond to look as nice as possible, for example, using yellow metal and not white metal so as not to draw attention to the tint in lower colour diamonds etc...

Are you considering the whole lab grown diamond industry to be "sad" too???

Is the desire to have the bling effect at cheaply as possible considered "sad" too???

Not everyone has deep pockets to be able to afford D FL/IF XXX, that's reality.

DK

 

[Avondale]

Yes, let's do a mock fest because that would be so productive. /s

Our products help you trick people into thinking that you have a diamond not moissanite?!

Scenario 1:
I like the way diamonds look. The sparkle, the fire, the flashes, they're beautiful. But I have moral inhibitions. I know about "blood diamonds", I know the mining industry is exploiting workers and third-world countries for their resources, I've heard prices are kept high artificially and I don't want to contribute financially to this industry.

So I choose to buy a moissanite that looks like a diamond but isn't a diamond. This resolves all my ethical concerns and I'm happy with a sparkly white rock on my hand.

So sad. /s

There's a way to trick people into thinking that you own a colorless diamond not a yellow tinted one?!

Scenario 2:
I want a diamond and I've read about the 4Cs. I know I want a bigger diamond, but I can't afford a D in my budget, and I definitely don't want to go smaller. So I go for an almost colourless J. From the top view it looks perfectly white and indistinguishable from a colourless diamond. Score!

But the slight yellowish tint from the side bothers me. I don't want to look at it. Oh, would you look at that, I can set it in a bezel and then I don't have to see it! Well that's a perfect solution, I can now enjoy my pretty sparkly rock.

So, so sad. /s


To be frank, when I first opened this post I thought it was some spam. Only after seeing @dk168 reply did I look twice and realise it was not, in fact, spam. With the way it's framed, which, btw, comes off as pretty arrogant, I suspect it won't receive a warm welcome and this discussion won't be pretty.

 

[bestcoder]

Oh, so the point is to look as nice as possible at the lowest cost.
I thought the whole point was to trick other people.
Sorry I misunderstood.
I guess most people intend to tell the truth if asked.

 

[MissGotRocks]

No, I honestly don't consider it sad. Different strokes for different folks. Just several variations to achieve the look the buyer wants. I was surprised to hear you say that the ACA diamonds didn't provide the fire you were looking for - in the right lighting environment, mine has plenty of fire. You apparently prefer moissanite for fire; again different strokes for different folks. Variety can be the spice of life!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Oh, so the point is to look as nice as possible at the lowest cost.
I thought the whole point was to trick other people.
Sorry I misunderstood.
I guess most people intend to tell the truth if asked.

Most people here (in my circle anyway) don't ask. We don't discuss things like this in normal social circumstances, everyone tends to "mind their business".

 

[MissGotRocks]

Oh, so the point is to look as nice as possible at the lowest cost.
I thought the whole point was to trick other people.
Sorry I misunderstood.
I guess most people intend to tell the truth if asked.

No, I don’t think they are trying to trick other people. Would they admit to having a lab diamond or moissanite if asked? I would certainly hope so. If they felt strongly enough about which product to buy, I would hope that they would own it in totality. I think posters here on PS have been very transparent in their feelings, and what they choose to buy. People respect that here.

 

[dk168]

I mix and wear pieces with simulants (CZ and Moissanites), lab grown diamonds (LGDs) and earth-mined as in natural diamonds all the time.

My pieces with simulants and LGDs are in sizes that I could have afforded in natural diamonds, as I do not wish for people to think "she can't possibly afford real diamonds so they must be fakes".

That's my own choice.

What other people do is up to them and not for me to comment or judge.

DK

 

[AdaBeta27]

Regarding moissanite gems precisely cut to "compensate" and play down the "moissanite look": I see nothing wrong with that. I see that as an evolution and improvement on the product, to get the most performance out of it. Original moissanite had tints ranging from I/J pale yellow to greenish. Today's moissanite is generally whiter, although you can still buy stones cut from warmer rough. A few cutters have said that they orient the rough a certain way for cutting in order to get a more diamond-like appearance. Maybe the polishing steps also affect that. So what? I see that as improving the quality and performance. Sure, there are people who bought moissanite and are fully wanting to pass it off as diamond. But now there are czs, lab diamonds, moissanites, and mined diamonds, all looking great. I don't think most people care whether or not what is on someone else's hand is a "fake" or not. There are too many great "fakes." I can't be bothered.

Regarding tinted diamonds: Not all cultures require colorless diamonds for purity or whatever. Probably, few do, actually. I own diamonds ranging from E down to M, and I like them all. About the only color I seem to balk at is K, for some reason. It's too tinted to be near-colorless, yet lacks that attractive pale yellow of L and M, and just kind of looks dingy to me. I am extremely tint sensitive. H and I can look ivory white to me. But as the adage goes, "Seeing tint and being bothered by it are two different things." Some people love their big I or J color diamonds (or even lower colors) and see every bit of the tint in them. Unless the tint actually bothers the wearer, I doubt that many would be deliberately trying to convince the world that their diamonds are less tinted than they are. It's just not that important.

But there are a lot of jewelers who'll advise that "J is too tinted for an engagement ring." And there have been not a few women on Pricescope who are choosier than I and they were bothered by seeing tint or inclusions in their diamonds and they resolved that by trading or selling those stones and upgrading. Some people struggle mightily with "mindcleaness." As a technologist, I am thrifty and I make acceptable tradeoffs.

 

[kenny]

IMO, not sad at all.

 

[pearlsngems]

Where we live, if I see an especially large rock on someone's hand who does not otherwise appear to be wealthy, I just assume it's not a mined diamond. Maybe it's a lab diamond, CZ, Moissonite, or something else.
I would never ask.
Why should people not be able to "rock" the look they like despite limited funds?

 

[Lookinagain]

Oh, so the point is to look as nice as possible at the lowest cost.
I thought the whole point was to trick other people.

Tricking people certainly isn't my point when I pick a diamond. I don't buy or wear my jewelry for other people so "tricking" them would never enter my mind. I also don't like icy white diamonds, so would probably would not typically buy a D/E/F unless that was the only stone in the cut quality, and shape in my price range. I happen to like diamonds from G all the way down to M/N/O/P and it's not necessarily that I'm looking for "nice as possible" at the lowest cost. If the stone "speaks" to me, and I think it's a fair price, I buy it. And I don't think I've ever chosen a setting for a stone just to mask the color. But some people may, because the like the view from the top, and not so much from the side. That's okay too. I can't speak to the moissanite issue as I don't own any, nor do I own any LGD. But do I care if others do? Not one bit. So I'm not sure your first sentence is on point either.

Maybe part of this is a cultural thing, as I believe some cultures value very high (D/E) colored diamonds and very high clarity. You'll find that here, people prefer all different color and clarity grades of stones.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

In America it is considered good manners not to inquire about an individuals' ring. You have just used a "PUT_down" to describe the issue. There is nothing sad about it. Have you ever bought a fake handbag with Guici on it? I heard South Koreans like imposter merchandise. Some of us do here in the USA as well.
No harm is done. The engaged woman is still happy and we are happy for her no matter what her ring is about. We just say its beautiful, which is what you want. Real or not--no matter.

Not Sad,
Annette

 

[Begonia]

You lost me at being totally "welcome to mock us about it."

 

[monarch64]

I know rage bait when I see it. LOL

 

[marymm]

No, it is not sad -- it is great!

Yay for vendors who recognize that people value precision cutting!

Yay for vendors who are candid about diamond color, who provide helpful information about setting options, and recognize customers often are balancing competing factors in making choices!

It is sad when a person sees objective and transparent business information readily available on websites and transforms it into a negative -- sorry sad person -- but please, flip that judgmental frown into a smile because:

In real life all kinds of stones are diamond-cut (even rubies! and sapphires! and emeralds! and synthetic stones!) and all kinds of people are seeking information on how a setting choice may affect diamond color -- and the information is correct, yay!

And, did you know?

You don't have to visit these websites or buy from these vendors!

But they exist for others who do value their services! Yay!

Have a great day!

 

[LilAlex]

I guess I understand part of the principle -- if one spent a lot on a D IF, say, and only later learned that you could craft a mounting style that made a lower/cheaper grade visibly indistinguishable, that might sting. But that would be like criticizing me for keeping my garage door down and clearly "pretending" that I have cars as nice as my neighbors have behind their closed doors.

I like colored stones and I am not going to go out of my way to mount them in a way that highlights their flaws lest they visually compete with the finer examples out there. For quality differences that are visually imperceptible to the casual observer, the "value" of the better stone to the buyer/wearer is the knowledge of this quality difference and, perhaps, better retention of value upon resale. Otherwise, no one would ever buy an untreated gem.

 

[seaurchin]

I find the psychology behind status items and fake status items, and also reverse snobbery, interesting.

There seems to often be a sense that someone is "cheating" if they wear a big cubic zirconia, moissanite or even a lab diamond. And of course many people are totally wearing a big mined diamond or substitute as a status symbol. It is all kind of amusing to me even though I play too, to some extent. And other people getting mad about it is even funnier.

 

[OboeGal]

I find the psychology behind status items and fake status items, and also reverse snobbery, interesting.

There seems to often be a sense that someone is "cheating" if they wear a big cubic zirconia, moissanite or even a lab diamond. And of course many people are totally wearing a big mined diamond or substitute as a status symbol. It is all kind of amusing to me even though I play too, to some extent. And other people getting mad about it is even funnier.

Yeah, the "status" stuff is wild. I don't want to yuck anyone else's yum as long as what they're doing isn't hurting anyone else, so I'm not going to criticize anyone for considering status in their own choices, but I also just can't relate to making decisions about what I wear (or drive or live in or put my cr@p in when I'm out and about) based on status. I want to wear what is beautiful to me (which in my case includes mined and lab diamonds, moissanite, and CZ), is comfortable and keeps me properly protected and is functional for my lifestyle/activities, and is safe and reliable, all at sensible prices while still being reasonably ethical. I don't get caring about what anyone else thinks of any of it, and I don't get caring what choices anyone else is making around those same things.

I do find myself becoming outright very angry, though, when I see a young person/couple, newly engaged and excited and happy, post a large moissanite or CZ or lab diamond that they clearly love on social media or a forum and someone decides to come at them with snark, ridicule, or condescension for not "staying in their lane" and buying a tiny, poor quality natural diamond instead. "How dare you try to look like you have money, like ME?" And yes, they literally say that - "You should have bought what you can afford in a mined diamond! You're posing!" It's so ugly. I know that is probably shocking to Pricescopers, because there is so very little of that here - one of many reasons I love it here! - but yeah, it's happening.

To add to how outrageous and ridiculous that is, the commenters have ZERO idea what the financial situation of that couple is. They could have plenty of money and chose what they chose because they'd rather spend that money elsewhere and/or simply like what they chose better. (I mean, I have branded super-ideal diamonds, yet I have CZ pieces that were $50 that I love to wear, too, because they're gorgeous, and on a daily basis, I struggle with making decisions about my next item because I can't decide whether to do it in diamond or moissanite, since I just love both so much, and they're different.) But these people are so obsessed with status that they feel comfortable and justified coming at perfect strangers over and over at what is supposed to be a happy time in these couples' lives. I totally, totally don't get it.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Most people here (in my circle anyway) don't ask. We don't discuss things like this in normal social circumstances, everyone tends to "mind their business".

i would consider it so rude for people to ask if something was fake aka not a diamond, i might think that and wonder what it was but i would never ask

 

[GeliL]

"Trick" is a harsh word to use. What other people think about your diamond is none of your business, and you are not responsible for their thoughts. I don't think it has anything to do with culture either outside of the preference for whiter "real" diamonds. The question is more "why do you feel like you got tricked just because they are wearing a J color diamond that looks like a D? Why is that any of your concern?"

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Yeah, the "status" stuff is wild. I don't want to yuck anyone else's yum as long as what they're doing isn't hurting anyone else, so I'm not going to criticize anyone for considering status in their own choices, but I also just can't relate to making decisions about what I wear (or drive or live in or put my cr@p in when I'm out and about) based on status. I want to wear what is beautiful to me (which in my case includes mined and lab diamonds, moissanite, and CZ), is comfortable and keeps me properly protected and is functional for my lifestyle/activities, and is safe and reliable, all at sensible prices while still being reasonably ethical. I don't get caring about what anyone else thinks of any of it, and I don't get caring what choices anyone else is making around those same things.

I do find myself becoming outright very angry, though, when I see a young person/couple, newly engaged and excited and happy, post a large moissanite or CZ or lab diamond that they clearly love on social media or a forum and someone decides to come at them with snark, ridicule, or condescension for not "staying in their lane" and buying a tiny, poor quality natural diamond instead. "How dare you try to look like you have money, like ME?" And yes, they literally say that - "You should have bought what you can afford in a mined diamond! You're posing!" It's so ugly. I know that is probably shocking to Pricescopers, because there is so very little of that here - one of many reasons I love it here! - but yeah, it's happening.

To add to how outrageous and ridiculous that is, the commenters have ZERO idea what the financial situation of that couple is. They could have plenty of money and chose what they chose because they'd rather spend that money elsewhere and/or simply like what they chose better. (I mean, I have branded super-ideal diamonds, yet I have CZ pieces that were $50 that I love to wear, too, because they're gorgeous, and on a daily basis, I struggle with making decisions about my next item because I can't decide whether to do it in diamond or moissanite, since I just love both so much, and they're different.) But these people are so obsessed with status that they feel comfortable and justified coming at perfect strangers over and over at what is supposed to be a happy time in these couples' lives. I totally, totally don't get it.

i guess we had pair (excuse spelling) pressure back in the day but social media has made things redicoulse,
in our own time hopefully we all mature and learn to wear what pleases us and brings us joy and not random stranger on social media or so called internet experts
i loved your post and wanted to give it a and a

 

[bestcoder]

I apologize again.
When the Whiteflash guide said "A bezel setting does an even more complete job of obscuring the view from this perspective,"
it didn't sound to me like "If you don't want to see the yellow tint, you can hide it"
but like "If you don't want people to see the yellow tint, you can hide it."
Maybe it sounds like the former to native speakers of English?
And even if it meant something like the latter, it was not right for me to judge.
I am sorry I said all those things.
I apologize.
I would've deleted the post if there was a delete button.

If you find yourself still not liking me, don't worry.
I don't think I'll come back to Pricescope.
The reason is in another post but I'm not gonna leave a link cos it is not a recommendable read or anything, ha ha.

 

[monarch64]

I apologize again.
When the Whiteflash guide said "A bezel setting does an even more complete job of obscuring the view from this perspective,"
it didn't sound to me like "If you don't want to see the yellow tint, you can hide it"
but like "If you don't want people to see the yellow tint, you can hide it."
Maybe it sounds like the former to native speakers of English?
And even if it meant something like the latter, it was not right for me to judge.
I am sorry I said all those things.
I apologize.
I would've deleted the post if there was a delete button.

If you find yourself still not liking me, don't worry.
I don't think I'll come back to Pricescope.
The reason is in another post but I'm not gonna leave a link cos it is not a recommendable read or anything, ha ha.

It’s not a question of whether people here like you. You just brought up a conversation we’ve had hundreds of times in all kinds of ways. And you did it in a way that wasn’t the most easily digestible.

If you’re going to be part of this community, (and we welcome all!) I suggest getting a feel for the crowd, reading the room, and maybe not just diving straight in.

 

[kenny]

I also hope you stick around.
To me, everyone is welcome, and diversity is the spice of life!

I've been rubbing some people the wrong way for over 20 years now.
Some have me on ignore, and I've been banned a few times.
No worries.

I think people who are just themselves are way more interesting than those twisting themselves into pretzels to be liked by all.

BTW, I really like the billboard I saw the other day ...

 

[MMtwo]

I apologize again.
When the Whiteflash guide said "A bezel setting does an even more complete job of obscuring the view from this perspective,"
it didn't sound to me like "If you don't want to see the yellow tint, you can hide it"
but like "If you don't want people to see the yellow tint, you can hide it."
Maybe it sounds like the former to native speakers of English?
And even if it meant something like the latter, it was not right for me to judge.
I am sorry I said all those things.
I apologize.
I would've deleted the post if there was a delete button.

If you find yourself still not liking me, don't worry.
I don't think I'll come back to Pricescope.
The reason is in another post but I'm not gonna leave a link cos it is not a recommendable read or anything, ha ha.

You can leave if you like, but it would be nice if you stayed. No pressure. You are learning and most obviously have a very analytical mind. And you code (I am assuming) so a big old plus for more geeks in Pricescope.

Plus, not sure if you know this, but Pricescope has a generous number of Asian and European folks, so the culture here is not homogenous and American. I love that about this group. So many persons bring their experiences to the group.

 

[LilAlex]

If you find yourself still not liking me, don't worry.
I don't think I'll come back to Pricescope.

I hope you stay! We (subtly) offend each other left and right; no one here will remember in three days.

I understand your original point. I always coveted an Aston-Martin (it will never, ever happen) and then Ford ripped off the iconic grille (maybe for the Focus) and I saw it everywhere in the US and it made me so angry. (I guess they never got sued because Ford briefly owned AM and maybe it was during that interval.)

Here, our dirty little secret is more likely to be that something is finer and more rare and expensive than it appears and not less so! (Think untreated gem in a handmade mounting.)

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i really admire people who can speak another language other than English
but also im starting to realize how difficult English is to learn, if it wasnt my first and only language i would have given up, for example i cant even spell one language let alone another

i am also so impressed and a little enveouse towards our Euro and Asian members

even amoungst us English as a first language people we often get the wrong end of the stick
even between countries who are historically and/or geographically very close who have influenced each other over many years

its just the written word we deal in here, no fascial exression, no body language, no expression in the voice, some people forget punuation even
and im not even taking into account local customs and colloquialisms

like any healthy online communuity its diversity that makes PS thrive
please dont let a negative on one thread spoil being part of our community for you
@bestcoder