I''ve got a case of the Monday Blues...

[Jewels305]

I haven''t posted anything in a while because I''ve been busy with school, but I have been checking everyone''s progress and I want to start by saying congratulations to everyone who has recently gotten engaged!

BF and I have had a lot of good convos lately and I know that in the near future we are going to go browsing for rings together. I made a comment that I don''t have time for anything because school is so busy and now every time I mention going to look he jokingly says, "But you don''t have any time, remember?" He''s such a PITA. I always tell him I would make time for that, but he''s right, I haven''t had a lot of time free to go and look for the past couple of months... hopefully things will settle down soon. I know that an engagement isn''t likely to come before May when I will be graduting from my Master''s program, and I have had some indications that make me feel like it might be coming around the 4th of July.

So I was going along fine and not getting overly anxious about getting engaged or even ring shopping until this weekend. The last of his coupled up friends got engaged this weekend, and I couldn''t believe how much it affected me. Mostly I am disappointed in myself for getting so upset. They definitely deserve it because they''ve been together for almost 10 years. But as her and I were the last 2 that weren''t engaged, we would often talk about it, and it seemed to me that she was very nervous that it might happen for me first, and I felt that she would be resentful if that happened. So I am glad that she got engaged first because I wouldn''t want to feel guilty, and also because they''ve been together a lot longer than BF and I have, so it feels right.

Another friend of mine got engaged last week and I was very happy for them, so I don''t really get why this time it''s getting to me, and I have never felt this way about anyone else before. I think it''s maybe because I feel bogged down with school work since everything is due in the next 2 weeks, and feel that being in school is what is causing an engagement to be held off.

Oh, and this morning I forgot my coffee at home and have a ridiculous caffeine deficient headache.

I am just feeling so many emotions I don''t know how to sort through them all, and I guess I just needed to vent to LIW who can sort of relate...

 

[jcarlylew82]

aww, i understand how you feel about being upset that your friends got engaged before you do (i do that too, and i just have to remember that regardless an engagement, i am happy with who i am with, and where we are).

hopefully the blues will go away soon!

 

[SparklyLibra]

Awww Jewels, it sounds like you might be feeling the regular LIW symptoms enhanced by feeling overwhelmed with school work:

I know how having alot on your plate can make one ultra sensitive to things that are already on the brain.

(((((HUGS)))))

Keeping yourself busy with school work is good for your future but don''t forget to take some time for yourself now, and do what you love. Replenish yourself, and remember that at the rate time is flying, July will be here in no time.

~SL

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Jewels youre not alone. I have the same problem with some friends engagements and not others, I think it depends on my mood and stress level- which is probably whats effecting you, like you mentioned. Its hard for all different reasons, but personally I think the way I reacted to certain engagements was a result of wanting it for my SO and I and feeling that we were ready but then having other people "lap us" so to speak on the engagement running track of life. hehe

I was doing fine, just like you, up until most recently when one of my SO''s friends proposed to his gf. Out of all the people we know they were, in a weird way, the first people and the last people we expected to get engaged. They were both very marriage driven, but everyone figured they''d wait and date a little longer plus his girlfriend is considerably young so why rush it? This left me feeling all kinds of crazy woes... I was initially shocked because no one expected it and I stumbled upon their "newly engaged" pictures online. I was jealous that she had a ring on her finger (which seems shallow but I''m sure every LIW can relate to since you begin to personally attach yourself to pieces of jewelery) and that I didnt. I was taken back that my SO wasnt as emotionally stirred up as I was about their engagement (even though he had no more reason to be then I did), so I felt like I had to keep my mouth shut and then bottling up my thoughts just made me feel more upset about the whole situation. And finally, the reaction I was able to pinpoint only with the help of one of my best friends, I realized that I was being resentful and transferring my frustrations regarding the responsibility I often feel. She helped me see that I''d wish my SO and I were easy going enough to just go off and get engaged now, but that the responsibility we both adhere to- me with my schooling and him with his new career and us living 6 hours apart- wasnt something that either one of us was going to put aside just to be engaged a little earlier. So I talked to my SO about it, happy that I figured out why I was reacting in such a way to this couples engagement, and now I''m back to patiently waiting again. Knowing that had we gotten engaged this past summer I''d only be more preoccupied with planning a wedding and my school work would be suffering even more than it is now with only PS to fuel procrastination.

I hope that my LIW anguish can help you feel a little more at peace with your reaction. Plus, May or even the beginning of July is already less than a year away and school makes the time fly by even faster. You''ll get through it

 

[Jewels305]

Jcarlylew- Thank you for you kind words of encouragement. It''s not even so much that they got engaged first, it''s just that it came somewhat unexpectedly and it stirred up some emotions for me that I didn''t know were waiting to be stirred up!

SL- Thank you! I think you''re exactly right that the stress I have going on just made me overly sensitive to the news. I have been trying to do like you said and keep myself busy to keep my mind occupied. I think that some of my stress and being upset over this is because I didn''t see my BF much this w/e with all of the work I had to do.

SS- Thanks for sharing your story! It helps to know that I am not the only one who feels blind-sided by someone''s happy news, haha. I agree with you that when it''s a shock it makes it affect you in a different way than if you know it''s coming. I think part of what has me upset is that my situation is very much like yours, the guy who proposed is a long time friend of my BFs and he found out online, he didn''t get a call like everyone else did. He''s offended and hurt, and I am really upset for him.