Jewish Catholic Wedding

[robbie3982]

Is anyone having an interfaith wedding ceremony? I''m Jewish and FI is Catholic and we''re wondering who officiates this kind of ceremony? What traditions are included?

 

[monarch64]

I''ve never been to an interfaith ceremony...but I have seen a few on "reality" shows. Seems to me that there can be two officiants, one of either faith. I.E., the priest would do the Mass portion, and the rabbi would do the Jewish (sorry, don''t know the correct terms here) portion. I''m thinking a google search might be of some assistance to you...good luck!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am not sure if my experience will help you but I was brought up Jewish, DH was brought up Methodist but neither of us are religious. We had a family friend (lawyer) get a court commission for the day and he married us. We had a "humanist" ceremony and for us it was perfect. It was about our love and commitment not about beliefs that we don''t believe in (no offense to those who do) We wrote our own ceremony, my friend read a poem, my sister sang a song, it was about 20-30 mins. What I suggest is try to combine traditions that are important to each of you. It is your wedding so you should do what you both are comfortable with and what makes you happy. Good luck!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 8/20/2006 9:09:42 PM
Author: monarch64
I''ve never been to an interfaith ceremony...but I have seen a few on ''reality'' shows. Seems to me that there can be two officiants, one of either faith. I.E., the priest would do the Mass portion, and the rabbi would do the Jewish (sorry, don''t know the correct terms here) portion. I''m thinking a google search might be of some assistance to you...good luck!

It is pretty hard to find both a priest and rabbi that will AGREE to do it but you can try! Where are you getting married?

 

[robbie3982]

Well, we live in Youngstown, OH, but we''re from Pittsburgh, so we''re thinking Pittsburgh. However, seeing as how we''ve been engaged for just over a week that could change.

I forgot to mention in my first post that neither FI nor I are religious either and I just assumed that we would have a ceremony like Tacori''s, but then FI started talking about he wanted it to be religious. There are definitely some traditions I wanted to keep (the chuppah, the ketubah, and the breaking of the glass), but he never mentioned any before. I''ll go along with whatever he wants to include for the Catholic part.

Does anyone know what the restrictions are on the communion part (please excuse my lack of proper terms)? Can only a priest do this?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Is that important to him? Hmmm...I think you both need to be on the same page. I think it would be awesome to use some jewish traditions as well as some of his (maybe in your program you could explain what everything is/means) but I would urge you to keep things simple. What do the parents say? Are they requesting certain traditions?

 

[whatmeworry]

Robbie,
A priest doesn''t have to give communion. For example, people who are bed-ridden can receive communion from a family member. But I don''t think that a priest would give communion to your husband or even allow the wafers to be given. Even Christians who are non-Catholic aren''t really allowed to receive communion. Something about other Christian churches not being in full communion with the Roman Catholic church. Another option you might want to explore is to have the ceremony at a Unitarian Church where you can incorporate different parts of your faiths in the service and still have a spiritual ceremony.

 

[monarch64]

Tacori, it''s me, your china twin, lol! I answered robbie''s question because at the time, no one else had....I honestly don''t know enough about the situation to be of much help, but I have seen a few reality/wedding shows where the couple uses two officiants of different faiths. I guess I didn''t realize that it was a difficult undertaking to find two officiants who would be willing to come together when they were of different faiths. My bad! This will teach me to just stay out of discussions when I am not an expert, I guess!

Sorry, robbie, I hope you figure everything out and have a seamless interfaith ceremony!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 8/21/2006 1:17:09 AM
Author: monarch64
Tacori, it''s me, your china twin, lol! I answered robbie''s question because at the time, no one else had....I honestly don''t know enough about the situation to be of much help, but I have seen a few reality/wedding shows where the couple uses two officiants of different faiths. I guess I didn''t realize that it was a difficult undertaking to find two officiants who would be willing to come together when they were of different faiths. My bad! This will teach me to just stay out of discussions when I am not an expert, I guess!

Sorry, robbie, I hope you figure everything out and have a seamless interfaith ceremony!

Oh you silly girl! No worries! I asked where she was getting married b/c I do have a cousin who is a rabbi (woman at that) who will do interfaith marriages and I believe will do it with another officiant. It IS totally possible you just have to do your research. I still think if neither is religious, simple is better. We had a beautiful ceremony where G-d was only mentioned once. The great thing about wedding planning (I think) is you can make up your own rules along the way. There is no right or wrong way to do anything.

 

[lifey888]

My fiance and I are an interfaith couple and we are getting married at Heinz Chapel in Pittsburgh. This is a non-denominational church, which fits both of our needs. As some of the other posts mention, only Roman Catholics are permitted to receive the eucharist in the Roman denomination. You could have a priest perform the marriage services without communion though. The format is very similar to the traditional christian service with readings and hymns. Any registered officiant is welcome to perform the service at Heinz Chapel. Hope this helps!

 

[whatmeworry]

Hi Robbie,
Congrats on your engagement. Just stumbled across this link with some stuff on interfaith marriages. Good luck, keep us posted on how your interfaith ceremony goes.

http://www.theknot.com/co_profileview.htm?profilename=Catholic_Bride

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I''m Catholic and although my husband is nominally Christian (Baptist), he was never baptized, so we needed a dispensation to get married in the Catholic Church. We didn''t have a full Mass with communion (technically you can, but it''s not recommended), so you could always incorporate a non-communion ceremony for the Catholic side.

 

[moremoremore]

My husband is Jewish and I am Catholic. We had an interfaith ceremony...but at the reception hall. I imagine it is a little more difficult to find someone who will do it in the church/temple whatever. But certainly can be done. My priest and rabbi never worked together before but both new the drill. It was lovely. I had a unity candle as well as a nice glass to step on. We signed the little ketubah thingie which I can''t even pretend to spell before hand without a ceremony....

 

[robbie3982]

Thank you so much everyone for the suggestions! I just read part of the article that whatmeworry posted and I like the idea of the priest attending, but not officiating and then offering a prayer and a blessing. It''s nice to know that it is possible for us to get married in the Catholic church even though I''m not Catholic should we decide to go that route. I think my family would probably freak out, but options are still nice.

I guess we''ll have to talk to a priest no matter what to make sure that our marriage is seen as valid in the church.

 

[jas]

I''m a little late on this one, but I don''t know if this has been mentioned (forgive me for skimming) --

A Conservative rabbi will most likely not perform an interfaith ceremony. An Orthodox rabbi will most certainly not. You may want to talk to rabbis at Reconstrunctionist or Reformed temples.

FI and I are having a "traditional" Jewish ceremony, but there are only a *few* requirements for a Jewish Ceremony to be kosher (forgive the pun) -- the ketubah, the seven blessings, the giving of a ring to the bride(there may be one more, but I don''t have my book handy and I''m really tired right now.) I can check on the rest tomorrow, if you''d like. The rest -- processionals, breaking of the glass, circling the groom, etc., are all traditions rather than law. It''s pretty interesting stuff.

FI and I just had a couple of sessions w/ our Rabbi who walked us through a lot of it. There''s a lot to be said for these traditions.

I don''t know much about the significance of elements of a Catholic ceremony, but having been to a few, I think it''s great that you are incorporating both religions in the ceremony.

I don''t mean to step on your toes if you knew all this...keep us posted on how it''s going!

Jackie