Jewish/Catholic Wedding

[AllieLuv83]

Does anyone know how a ceremony of this type would work? I know it is possible to find a reform rabbi but who can you get to perform the catholic portion of the ceremony. I am completely at a loss. I am jewish and my fiance is catholic. I did not think we would have a religious ceremony but he seems to want one. I will not under any circumstances get married in a church but I wanted to know if any one attended a wedding like this or know anyone that had a wedding like this.

 

[blondie23]

Unfortunately I'm not much help but I am in a similar situation. My FI is Jewish and I am Christian and to appease everyone (and also not offend anyone) we're having an entirely secular ceremony with no religious element involved. I know that it will be difficult to find a Catholic priest who will be willing to perform the ceremony , especially if it's not in a church...just an fyi

 

[Sabine]

I know Robbie had elements of both religions in her ceremony, but it was not at a church and the officiant was not a religious person. I know that it is possible to find exceptions, but from my experience, with the Catholic church, they are pretty strict about the ceremony. It would have to be in a Catholic church said by a Catholic priest (although they might let a Rabbi say another part of the ceremony) and you would have to go through the premarriage program, etc. But I don''t think you need to have the ceremony at the church to include aspects of his faith...you could have someone do readings, the blessing of the rings, etc. as well as Jewish traditions that you like.

 

[gtn]

Without getting married in a church, you will not got a catholic priest to perform the wedding. Your best bet is to find a priest of the trinitarian faith (eg they believe in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost) to perform the "catholic" aspect of it. Ideally, a Lutheran priest will perform the wedding, but I don''t know Lutheran rules on marriage, but Lutheran ceremonies and traditions are the most similar to Catholic ceremonies and traditions.

I hope this helps.

 

[mjso]

If you don''t care if the marriage is recognized by the church, you just want a Catholic priest there to do the same type of ceremony you''d get in a church (minus the communion) you CAN find a priest that will do this. My FI and I were contemplating getting married in a Catholic church, because we are both from Catholic families, but pre-cana was just too much for us (especially since we''ve been living together for 6 years or so and didn''t want to be harassed). We also wanted to get married outside, which is a no-no in the Cathlic Church.

So I resigned myself to having a judge or some such wedding ceremony and went along and found a great venue that has their own private beach for ceremonies. When we booked they gave us a list of officiants and lo and behold there were Catholic priests on there... So in the end, we get to have a ceremony that is basically the same as the one in the church, and we get to have it outside. But the Pope won''t have any record of us being a married couple.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I know some priests who will do it outside the church as a favor to the couple, but it will not be recognized as Catholic. If this is the route you want to go, look into the diocese within a fair difference from where you are. Although they technically have to follow the same rules, different ones even within close range of each other can have very different rules. Where I am, the diocese is fairly liberal and some of my friends went this route but the one 60 mile south of here would NEVER allow one of their priests to do it.

 

[robbie3982]

I''m Jewish and DH is catholic. We were married by a judge who is a family friend. Here''s the ceremony we used that incorporated parts from both religions:

Opening Remarks and Blessing
Judge:
Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to join Bride and Groom in holy matrimony. Bride and Groom are happy that so many of you who mean so much to them are here to share and celebrate this, their wedding day.

Remembering Loved Ones
I would like to take this moment to mention that there are those close to Bride and Groom who could not travel to be here today, but whose thoughts and blessings are with them; and there are loved ones who are no longer here in body, but who are here in spirit. Let us remember them now in a moment of silence.

Acknowledging the Bride and Groom''s Traditions
Out of two different and distinct traditions, Bride and Groom have come together to learn the best of what each has to offer, appreciating their differences, and confirming that being together is far better than being apart from each other. As we bless this marriage under a chuppah, the Jewish symbol of the new home being consummated here, we will later light the unity candle, a Christian symbol of two people becoming one in marriage.

Blessing Over the Wine
Two thoughts are suggested by this cup of wine. The first is that wine is a symbol of the sweetness we wish for your life. There will be times when you drink from other cups, from bitter ones; but life offers opportunity to savor the sweetness. The awareness of the possibility of a life filled with true meaning is what we toast: the good that is life. The second is that wine is a symbol of sharing. You have shared many years together, and out of this time has grown the love which brought you to this day. As you continue to share in each other''s life, you will, as a symbol of this enduring cooperation, share this cup of wine. (Both drink from wine)

Readings
Judge:
Bride & Groom would now like to ask his nieces Reader #1 & Reader #2 to read The Blessing of the Hands.

Reader #1:
Bride, please face Groom and hold his hands, palms up, so that you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life. These are the hands that will work along yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams. These are the hands that will love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness and hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind. These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes, eyes that are completely filled with his overwhelming love for you.

Reader #2:
Groom, please hold Bride’s hands, palms up, so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young, and carefree that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life. These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times, that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving. These are the hands that will cherish you through the years for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish can be realized.

Reader #1 & Reader #2 together:
God, bless these hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your grace, rich in caring and devoted in reaching for your perfection.

May Bride and Groom see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide.
Exchange of Vows
Judge:
Bride and Groom, have you come here freely and without reservations to give yourselves to each other in marriage?

Bride and Groom:
We have.

Judge:
Bride and Groom since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands and repeat after me.

Bride:
I, Bride, take you, Groom, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part. This is my solemn vow.

Groom:
I, Groom, take you, Bride, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part. This is my solemn vow.

Exchange of Rings
Judge:
These rings in their unbroken wholeness are tokens of the continuity of your love. May their shining substance be a symbol of the enduring trust and affection that you bring to one another.

Groom, as you place the ring on Bride’s finger, repeat after me:
With this ring, I join my life with yours.
You are my beloved and you are my friend.
Bride, as you place the ring on Groom’s finger, repeat after me:
With this ring, I join my life with yours.
You are my beloved and you are my friend.
Lighting the Unity Candle
Judge:
In the wedding liturgy, candlelight symbolizes the commitment of love these two people are declaring today.
Before you, you see three special candles. The two smaller candles symbolize the lives of Bride and Groom. Until today, both have let their light shine as individuals. Now they have come to publicly proclaim their love in the new union of marriage.
They do not lose their individuality. Yet, in marriage, they are united in so close a bond that they become one. Now, following the profession of their marriage vows, they will light the large center candle from the smaller candles to symbolize this new reality. In this way they are saying that henceforth their light must shine together for each other, for their families, and for the community.
From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined to find one another, their two streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
Breaking of the Glass
Judge:
The breaking of the glass is a joyous ceremony. There are many different explanations for it. Today, the fragility of the glass suggests the frailty of human relationships.
After Groom breaks the glass, I invite everyone to shout the Hebrew words "Mazel Tov," which means "good luck" and "congratulations."
The glass is broken to protect this marriage with the implied prayer...
May your bond of love be as difficult to break as it would be to put together the pieces of this glass.
(Groom breaks the glass and everyone yells “mazel tov!”)
Pronouncement
Judge:
Your friends and family, all of us here, rejoice in your happiness and we pray that this day marks only one of many more blessings you will share in the days and years ahead. And now that you have spoken the words and performed the rites that unite your lives, I now, by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the laws of the commonwealth of Pennsylvania, hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Groom LastName!

(This service is about thirty minutes long.)

 

[Haven]

It sounds like a secular officiant will be your best bet.

I just wanted to add that you''ll likely have a very difficult time finding a reputable reform rabbi to officiate your wedding if your fiance isn''t converting. My father is a cantor, we''re reform, and I''ve pretty much been surrounded with clergy my entire life, and this is an issue that they discuss often. There are some rabbis that they oh-so-fondly call "rent-a-rabbis" who have reputations for performing Bar Mitzvah ceremonies for 13-year-olds who don''t attend religious school, or weddings for couples who aren''t planning on raising a Jewish family, but I doubt you would want one of them to officiate at your marriage ceremony.

Take some time to find someone you both like to officiate at your wedding, but I''d be very weary of any rabbi who agrees to do it.

 

[AllieLuv83]

Thank you Robbie and everyone else for your replies! I will definitely take all of this into consideration when looking for someone to officiate the wedding. You guys are the best!