just shut up.

[leoslove730]

My boyfriend and I were at his family reunion a few weeks ago, and i just remembered how annoying his cousin''s fiance was. She kept going around telling everyone, "OMG - we are getting married in 5 months and 15 days...!!!!!" I seriously wanted to slap her.

Much of the annoyance I was feeling was because of my own yearning to be the bride-to-be, but she really was being a jerk about it and it''s like, who cares? Damn, shut up already!!

The thing that kills me is that she has her gown and her bridesmaids dresses already, and the date set, and her horse-drawn carriage that she just HAD to have and is choosing over their honeymoon (they don''t have any money at all), but they don''t have a venue or caterer set yet! She''s still looking. She said that the cheapest she can find is $21.95 a plate. They are getting married January 19th! Good luck with that, dumbass!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/29/2007 4:49:34 PM
Author:leoslove730
Good luck with that, dumbass!

That was awesome.

 

[lsyama]

That totally sucks! Good thing you don''t have to see her often! (I hope!)

 

[TravelingGal]

Honestly, you sound bitter and jealous. Dumbass? Wow, you''re gracious.

We''ve seen here how AGONIZING it can be for some to be a LIW and how over the moon they are when the are brides to be...what''s the big deal if she''s so excited that she just can''t wait? I can''t see how that was being a "jerk" unless I am missing something in your story.

Just remember...pricescope ain''t "The Knot" and while venting is definitely welcome, b*tchiness doesn''t normally garner a lot of sympathy.

 

[snlee]

I agree with TG. Your post is very harsh, even if she is annoying. Even if you are jealous, which is normal, since you are waiting for your proposal, why can''t you be happy for them? This is your cousin''s wedding too. After he marries her she''ll be your cousin as well. They are family. Maybe I''m missing something to your story but I don''t think it''s very nice to call her a dumbass.

 

[Harleigh]

I know it''s hard for you right now, but hang in there! It''ll all be worth the wait in the long run, and you may find yourself in the same situation (meaning your excitement, not poor planning!) and hopefully others will be happy to share in your joy, as well.

Try not to let it bother you quite so much if you can...sorry you''re feeling so bad.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/30/2007 12:02:16 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Honestly, you sound bitter and jealous. Dumbass? Wow, you're gracious.

We've seen here how AGONIZING it can be for some to be a LIW and how over the moon they are when the are brides to be...what's the big deal if she's so excited that she just can't wait? I can't see how that was being a 'jerk' unless I am missing something in your story.

Just remember...pricescope ain't 'The Knot' and while venting is definitely welcome, b*tchiness doesn't normally garner a lot of sympathy.

DITTO. I got the same thing from your post. She was expressing her happiness and excitement, Don't see anything wrong in that?? I hope you'll be celebrating your engagement soon.

 

[Mara]

yikes...gotta thritto TG and snlee...it's not okay for anyone else to be jazzed that they are about to be married in a few months yet you are waiting on pins and needles for your own proposal so that you can have that same happy attitude? god forbid someone in your family decides after a few months of your engagement that you are 'annoying', wishes you would 'just shut up', and vents to others about how realistic or unrealistic your expectations are about your big day. who cares if she forwent a honeymoon to have the carriage, it's obviously what makes her happy. have the grace to be at least a little happy for them...one day that will be you in her shoes.

 

[gwendolyn]

I dunno, I can see where you guys are coming from with that because, looking at her post again, it did seem like the chick was just really excited. But people who run around to get in your face about an exact countdown to when they''re getting married go a little beyond simply excited, in my opinion. If it''s someone I otherwise like a lot, it wouldn''t bother me as much as it would coming from someone who got on my nerves in other aspects as well.

Now, this is me talking about situations (and people) I''ve known like this in my life, so maybe the same doesn''t hold true for our friend here, but I''ve had people get up in my face about that stuff and they''ve annoyed me too because they act like being engaged gives them free reign to be utterly self-absorbed. So I can empathize a bit.

 

[neatfreak]

It might be hard to hear all about her excitement and wedding prep, but I''ve gotta agree with TGal and the others...

You should just chill out and try your very best to tune her out at the next gathering. Remember, when YOU get engaged that might be how others are thinking about you with all your wedding talk...

 

[lsyama]

Date: 8/30/2007 7:19:51 AM
Author: gwendolyn
I dunno, I can see where you guys are coming from with that because, looking at her post again, it did seem like the chick was just really excited. But people who run around to get in your face about an exact countdown to when they're getting married go a little beyond simply excited, in my opinion. If it's someone I otherwise like a lot, it wouldn't bother me as much as it would coming from someone who got on my nerves in other aspects as well.


Now, this is me talking about situations (and people) I've known like this in my life, so maybe the same doesn't hold true for our friend here, but I've had people get up in my face about that stuff and they've annoyed me too because they act like being engaged gives them free reign to be utterly self-absorbed. So I can empathize a bit.

I second gwendolyn - it's open to interpretation (oh the joys on online not-real-time conversations...

)
I have acquaintances who always have to rub it in that they're better/first/whatever, and they just drive me batty most of the time anyway.
In which case, I just try to avoid them.


ETA (haha, I finally figured out what ETA stands for - gosh I'm slow!):
Venting happens. And then you get over it.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 8/30/2007 12:02:16 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Honestly, you sound bitter and jealous. Dumbass? Wow, you're gracious.

We've seen here how AGONIZING it can be for some to be a LIW and how over the moon they are when the are brides to be...what's the big deal if she's so excited that she just can't wait? I can't see how that was being a 'jerk' unless I am missing something in your story.

Just remember...pricescope ain't 'The Knot' and while venting is definitely welcome, b*tchiness doesn't normally garner a lot of sympathy.

What she said.

You sound a lot more bothered by the fact that it's not 'your turn' than anything else, and instead of being happy that someone else is, you're demeaning her. How sad for you that you can't be happy for other people because of your own jealousy, even if they are bit overzealous.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/30/2007 10:01:43 AM
Author: lsyama


I second gwendolyn - it''s open to interpretation (oh the joys on online not-real-time conversations...

)
I have acquaintances who always have to rub it in that they''re better/first/whatever, and they just drive me batty most of the time anyway.
In which case, I just try to avoid them.


ETA (haha, I finally figured out what ETA stands for - gosh I''m slow!):
Venting happens. And then you get over it.

Ladies, even if this woman was a complete and total JERK, it''s still possible to be GRACIOUS about this. If someone is that irritating, I just prefer to believe in Karma, you know what I mean?

And judging from Leolove''s past posts, not being engaged is REALLY getting to her...to the point she "bursts into tears" when someone else gets engaged. The incident she posted about here happened WEEKS ago...and she''s so bothered about it she has to vent about it weeks after the fact. My advice (albeit unsolicited) to her is to be happy and know her turn will come. It seems like she has a great bf whom she loves and he loves her too. Believe me, I understand waiting for something you want is difficult and causes real heartache. But if my girlfriend was always so distraught about not being engaged and was even in tears when others got engaged, I''d be thinking...hm...is she always going to be so miserable when things don''t go her way?

People are drawn to happy, glowing people. People want to be ENGAGED to happy, glowing people!

 

[nebe]

Date: 8/30/2007 12:02:16 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Just remember...pricescope ain''t ''The Knot'' and while venting is definitely welcome, b*tchiness doesn''t normally garner a lot of sympathy.

What is all this I keep hearing about ''The Knot''? Are they really that mean?

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 8/30/2007 11:41:11 AM
Author: nebe

What is all this I keep hearing about ''The Knot''? Are they really that mean?

It depends on what board you''re on. The local boards are usually pretty nice. Some of the national ones (such as advice for brides and not engaged yet) are pretty evil though.

 

[leoslove730]

I think that some of you guys got confused - this is not MY cousin, it''s my boyfriend''s cousin. And the girl is a total bitch, which I should''ve probably explained prior to my rant.

When they first got engaged, her parents wanted a house built for them as a wedding present because his dad is a contractor. Well, they want it built before the wedding, but my bf''s uncle said that there is no way it will be done by January because he has too many other jobs to complete before then, and this girl threw a temper-tantrum and said that was "unacceptable" to HIS parents. So, she''s basically getting her way my bf''s uncle is working around his other jobs to cater to her. I think that is horrible because they are getting the house for free in the first place. After that she has been a pure bridezilla since. My boyfriend''s mom is constantly telling me of her crazy bride-to-be antics, and they go way beyond just the normal stresses of planning a wedding. My bf''s aunt and uncle are paying for the wedding, she could be a little more respectful towards them. They are also paying for her horse-drawn carriage, which SHE chose over having a honeymoon, causing his aunt and uncle had to draw the line somewhere. Not to mention, I tried to be nice and start up a convo with her at the reunion and she acted like she was too good to bother talking to me. She knows that I am longing for a proposal from my guy, because my bf''s mom and his aunt love to tell everyone the gossip (which is fine, I don''t care), but knowing that, and making it a point to throw it in my face was pretty shady. And, yes, I was nice to her, but it still annoyed me. Knowing her and her bitchiness, I have every right to feel annoyed.

Two of my bf and mine''s couple friends just recently got engaged and I am THRILLED for both of them. Both girls got beautiful rings, and their boyfriend''s are really great guys. Even though I am not looking forward to people questioning us when we''ll be taking the plunge at their weddings (which is inevitable from my experience), I am super excited for them all and can''t wait to share their special days with them. But, I''m sorry, my bf''s cousin''s finacee is a bitch. If you knew her personally, you''d understand why I am less than happy for her.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/30/2007 12:51:37 PM
Author: leoslove730
I think that some of you guys got confused - this is not MY cousin, it''s my boyfriend''s cousin. And the girl is a total bitch, which I should''ve probably explained prior to my rant.

When they first got engaged, her parents wanted a house built for them as a wedding present because his dad is a contractor. Well, they want it built before the wedding, but my bf''s uncle said that there is no way it will be done by January because he has too many other jobs to complete before then, and this girl threw a temper-tantrum and said that was ''unacceptable'' to HIS parents. So, she''s basically getting her way my bf''s uncle is working around his other jobs to cater to her. I think that is horrible because they are getting the house for free in the first place. After that she has been a pure bridezilla since. My boyfriend''s mom is constantly telling me of her crazy bride-to-be antics, and they go way beyond just the normal stresses of planning a wedding. My bf''s aunt and uncle are paying for the wedding, she could be a little more respectful towards them. They are also paying for her horse-drawn carriage, which SHE chose over having a honeymoon, causing his aunt and uncle had to draw the line somewhere. Not to mention, I tried to be nice and start up a convo with her at the reunion and she acted like she was too good to bother talking to me. She knows that I am longing for a proposal from my guy, because my bf''s mom and his aunt love to tell everyone the gossip (which is fine, I don''t care), but knowing that, and making it a point to throw it in my face was pretty shady. And, yes, I was nice to her, but it still annoyed me. Knowing her and her bitchiness, I have every right to feel annoyed.

Two of my bf and mine''s couple friends just recently got engaged and I am THRILLED for both of them. Both girls got beautiful rings, and their boyfriend''s are really great guys. Even though I am not looking forward to people questioning us when we''ll be taking the plunge at their weddings (which is inevitable from my experience), I am super excited for them all and can''t wait to share their special days with them. But, I''m sorry, my bf''s cousin''s finacee is a bitch. If you knew her personally, you''d understand why I am less than happy for her.

Ah...so this girl is a bitch, therefore that justifies your bitchiness? Got it.

Whether it''s your cousin, or your bf''s cousin, if you get that proposal you want, it''s all going to be family anyway. And I think most of us got that it''s your bf''s cousin...not that it makes any difference to me.

Personally I think you need to get over it. This is the couple that got engaged before you, yet dated a bit less than you and your bf. You''ve admitted you''re envious and there''s competition between the two of you. Not healthy for YOU.

You could take a lesson from Robbie, whose cousin seems truly wretched and tried to patch things up by making her the flower girl! Robbie graciously accepted, was able to laugh at herself, and was the sexiest flower girl I''ve ever seen. That''s class.

I think that your response, which was to only justify what a terrible person your bf''s cousin''s fiancee is and give us more examples of what an awful person she is, simply speaks more about YOU than anything.

That being said, I don''t think what you''re FEELING is all that unreasonable. You could have come here, said the same thing, left out a few choice words and people would have been a lot more sympathetic. Either way, I wish you luck.

 

[bee*]

Just hang in there, it will be your turn soon. I can understand how hard it is if you can''t stand the girl, but I can also see things from her point of view and I know 5 months before my wedding,I''ll probably be so excited that I''ll be doing the countdown also!

 

[Chels7]

I just wanted to say I resented when FI''s brother got engaged after dating 1.5 years, and then his cousin after 2.5 years, then another cousin after 1 year (all within 3 months of eachother). Needless to say it was hard for me to watch these couples who were the same age all getting engaged I here I had been dating by for 6 years! Well I tried to put on a happy face for them, but deep down inside I was sad. I never did anything to make them feel like I wasn''t excited, I think I just came off as not being interested. Now that I am engaged all these couples seem so genuinely happy for us.

That being said I wish I could go back, relax (knowing that my time would come), and be genuinely happy for these couples because of they way they are treating me now. So I guess just think about your actions now, because you will want everyone to be happy for you when it is your time.

I hope all my random thoughts make sense!

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 8/30/2007 1:17:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal


You could take a lesson from Robbie, whose cousin seems truly wretched and tried to patch things up by making her the flower girl! Robbie graciously accepted, was able to laugh at herself, and was the sexiest flower girl I've ever seen. That's class.

Oh my gosh! I saw Robbie's thread about her pics from being the "flower girl," and it's really true?!

Her cousin made her the flower girl in her wedding?! YIKES! I don't know if I would have been so gracious as Robbie! Kudos!

haha!

 

[leoslove730]

TG - In your original reply to me you said, "I can''t see how that was being a "jerk" unless I am missing something in your story."... I figured I would elaborate to explain why I don''t care for this girl. That is the ONLY reason why I went on the explain myself.

Thank you for the luck - I DO need it. I need it with patience, jealously, anxiousness, and to get a piece of mind while in this waiting period. I am convinced that I am one of those girls who is taking this whole bridal wave exceptionally hard. But I truly do not like this girl. Her gloating in my face makes me dislike her even more, especially since she knows how hard it is for me. Gloating = not cool in this situation. Even my boyfriend had the same things as I did to say about her. He thought that was pretty crappy of her, although he is not going to run out and slip a ring on my finger just to make me feel better. I wouldn''t want it that way anyways.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/30/2007 1:34:41 PM
Author: leoslove730
TG - In your original reply to me you said, ''I can''t see how that was being a ''jerk'' unless I am missing something in your story.''... I figured I would elaborate to explain why I don''t care for this girl. That is the ONLY reason why I went on the explain myself.

Thank you for the luck - I DO need it. I need it with patience, jealously, anxiousness, and to get a piece of mind while in this waiting period. I am convinced that I am one of those girls who is taking this whole bridal wave exceptionally hard. But I truly do not like this girl. Her gloating in my face makes me dislike her even more, especially since she knows how hard it is for me. Gloating = not cool in this situation. Even my boyfriend had the same things as I did to say about her. He thought that was pretty crappy of her, although he is not going to run out and slip a ring on my finger just to make me feel better. I wouldn''t want it that way anyways.

Fair enough Leoslove. I still think that your frustration over your situation could have made you feel more like it was actually directed at you, but since I do not know this girl, I will take your word for it.

Some women just REALLY love the whole process of getting married and are truly dense and oblivious to others. Try and give her the benefit of the doubt. Toxic feelings really just aren''t good for you, and you should be doing what''s best for you.

Although I didn''t have to go through any of those feelings for my engagement, I did have to go through one hell of a rollercoaster ride to see if TGuy and I could even be together. He was trying to immigrate here from Australia and won the greencard lottery. For two years I went through so much frustration, anxiety, fear and ACHE from wanting it so much. At one point he said he just couldn''t do it...that he couldn''t leave his friends and family and I had to deal with disappointment too.

Through it all, I really believe a girl''s just got to find her place of zen and believe that things happen in their own time. Have faith, breathe, and find a little peace for yourself. You are SO FAR AHEAD of many women who haven''t even found the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with yet. So how lucky are you?

 

[leoslove730]

Thank you! That is actually very encouraging. I needed that.

 

[Mara]

Date: 8/30/2007 1:45:22 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Through it all, I really believe a girl''s just got to find her place of zen and believe that things happen in their own time. Have faith, breathe, and find a little peace for yourself. You are SO FAR AHEAD of many women who haven''t even found the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with yet. So how lucky are you?

I totally agree with this...surely I remember the pins and needles I was on waiting for my proposal from my now-hubby of 3 years, but it all worked out in the end and if you know it''s coming...while it''s hard to be ''patient'' persay...it''s still something that is so exciting.

I have said this to many other girls on here but when I was waiting I kept thinking when is it going to happen, when is the ring going to be done, why doesn''t he just do it (ring wasn''t ready) etc...but after it was all said and done I wished I''d really enjoyed that waiting period more because they are the last days of your truly independent and single life mentally and so many women spend them just wishing for the next stage to start. Enjoy the time and relish the excitement.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

style="WIDTH: 96.32%; HEIGHT: 114px">Date: 8/30/2007 1:45:22 PM
Author: TravelingGal


Through it all, I really believe a girl''s just got to find her place of zen and believe that things happen in their own time. Have faith, breathe, and find a little peace for yourself. You are SO FAR AHEAD of many women who haven''t even found the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with yet. So how lucky are you?

Very well said!

I should print this and post it some place where I can read it when I have my impatient days

 

[cl2ysta1]

Date: 8/30/2007 1:45:22 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/30/2007 1:34:41 PM
You are SO FAR AHEAD of many women who haven''t even found the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with yet. So how lucky are you?

you just made me feel REAL LUCKY!

 

[ljmorgan]

leoslove,

I''m sorry that you got jumped all over in this thread. I''m sure it''s frustrating to listen to a bridezilla-brat go on and on! My advice is to simply grin and bear it, because your time is near! Focus on enjoying your pre-engagement period, and relax!

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 8/30/2007 1:25:13 PM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 8/30/2007 1:17:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal


You could take a lesson from Robbie, whose cousin seems truly wretched and tried to patch things up by making her the flower girl! Robbie graciously accepted, was able to laugh at herself, and was the sexiest flower girl I''ve ever seen. That''s class.

Oh my gosh! I saw Robbie''s thread about her pics from being the ''flower girl,'' and it''s really true?!

Her cousin made her the flower girl in her wedding?! YIKES! I don''t know if I would have been so gracious as Robbie! Kudos!

haha!

*blush*

thanks travelinggal

Cleopatra, it was completely real. I walked down the aisle dropping petals. Lol. I figured, hey, this is my last chance to be a flower girl, so why not? Lol. It was a lot of fun and my cousin and I are good again (which we hadn''t been in years) because of it.