Kind of a let down

[Lauren8211]

As you all know, my mom gave FF the ring a few weeks ago so that he can reset it and give to me when we're ready. The problem with that is that my mom and his mom knew about it, and now EVERYONE knows! Moms can't keep their mouths shut! It seems like everyone just kind of feels like we're already engaged, and when it finally does happen, people won't be excited for us. I mean, I don't feel engaged! I am as excited as hell to make this official. Granted, I realize that telling other people isn't best part of getting engaged, but it is a part. Does anyone else feel like people treat them as "engaged" already and that it will lose it's luster to announce it when it actually happens?

ETA: Sorry for all the emo posts this week! lol.

 

[Anna0499]

I''m not engaged and won''t be for awhile, but one of my friends expressed to me the same sentiment when she got engaged. She had been living with her BF for about two years and when he proposed a lot of people were like, "It''s about time!" because they had been basically living as a married couple already and I think a lot of people thought they were already engaged because they did everything together. I know she was super disappointed that people we''re more excited or surprised at the announcement, so I just tried to be as happy and energetic for her as I could.

Anyway, because most everyone has seen the ring already and knows that your BF has it, I can see how they would begin to treat you like you were engaged because it''s just a matter of the formal proposal at this point. I definitely understand where you are coming from after dealing with my friend but I think that when you do get engaged it will be special for you and you need to just not to worry about how other people will view it because in the end it doesn''t really matter.

 

[Lauren8211]

IndyGirl: That's pretty much how our situation is. We've been living together for a year and a half, the ring is here, and it really is waiting on a formal proposal. I know I shouldn't care what the reaction of other's is, because I'm going to be bouncing off the walls excited regardless, but it's such a nice feeling when people share in your excitement. It's too bad people forget that. You (hopefully) only get engaged once, and it's a big deal no matter how long you've been waiting!

After going through this, I will never again say "Well, it's about time!" when someone I know gets engaged after a long wait. Only "OMGs!" and "Yays!" and "Your ring is GORGEOUS"s from here on out!

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/28/2008 12:02:11 PM
Author: elledizzy5

IndyGirl: That''s pretty much how our situation is. We''ve been living together for a year and a half, the ring is here, and it really is waiting on a formal proposal. I know I shouldn''t care what the reaction of other''s is, because I''m going to be bouncing off the walls excited regardless, but it''s such a nice feeling when people share in your excitement. It''s too bad people forget that. You (hopefully) only get engaged once, and it''s a big deal no matter how long you''ve been waiting!

After going through this, I will never again say ''Well, it''s about time!'' when someone I know gets engaged after a long wait. Only ''OMGs!'' and ''Yays!'' and ''Your ring is GORGEOUS''s from here on out!

Yeah, definitely! After speaking with my disappointed friend I try to be as excited as possible for anyone I know who gets engaged. Although I won''t be getting engaged anytime soon I totally know where you are coming from with these feelings. It''s true of any situation that doesn''t happen very often (hopefully just once in your case!) - you wouldn''t expect people to be uber-excited if you bought a new shirt or something, but this is an ENGAGEMENT!

Something most girls dream about for a very long time, some longer than others!

It''s not very fun when you call someone with big news and they are like, "Oh, cool..." because it rains on your parade somewhat. Even though your mom and FMIL might not be as giddy as you would hope, other people who don''t know all the details already will most likely be super excited for you. You can always come to PS for our genuine excitement at your engagement too...in fact, we''re supposed to be the FIRST to know! Haha

 

[jcarlylew]

elledizzy - i agree. after reading this i am never going to say "about time!" again!!We too have been living like we''re married already, so I kinda have fears as well. then again, for the people that matter most to me, i know they will be excited regardless.
you know all us LIW will give you congrats!!

 

[fieryred33143]

Please...my famiily and his family have already skipped over talks of engagements and weddings and gone straight to baby talk.

I told one of his cousins that we were "thinking" about getting engaged (even though he had the ring already) and she says "aren''t you guys already married??"

Um. No.

 

[Lauren8211]

Sometimes I think that of all the people in my life, PSers will be MOST excited for my engagement. I think it''s time to find some new friends...

Fiery -- that''s funny. Well, not really. That would bum me out a little. But you know we''ll be excited for you!!

The day I get baby talk.. well.. grrr. I''ve already warned my mom that I will be WELL into my 30s before I start having kids, and not to even start.

 

[LDubs]

Date: 7/28/2008 12:34:24 PM
Author: fieryred33143
Please...my famiily and his family have already skipped over talks of engagements and weddings and gone straight to baby talk.


I told one of his cousins that we were ''thinking'' about getting engaged (even though he had the ring already) and she says ''aren''t you guys already married??''


Um. No.

LOL Don''t you just love family?

 

[Dreamgirl]

I can understand Mothers'' being talky-talk to everyone. What can you do? Im sorry everyone is so excited now rather than when it really happens. But, at least they are showing excitement none the less! Just at the wrong time...

fireyred- HA! You are hilarious "and gone straight to baby talk."

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/28/2008 12:11:13 PM
Author: IndyGirl22

Date: 7/28/2008 12:02:11 PM

Author: elledizzy5


IndyGirl: That''s pretty much how our situation is. We''ve been living together for a year and a half, the ring is here, and it really is waiting on a formal proposal. I know I shouldn''t care what the reaction of other''s is, because I''m going to be bouncing off the walls excited regardless, but it''s such a nice feeling when people share in your excitement. It''s too bad people forget that. You (hopefully) only get engaged once, and it''s a big deal no matter how long you''ve been waiting!


After going through this, I will never again say ''Well, it''s about time!'' when someone I know gets engaged after a long wait. Only ''OMGs!'' and ''Yays!'' and ''Your ring is GORGEOUS''s from here on out!

Yeah, definitely! After speaking with my disappointed friend I try to be as excited as possible for anyone I know who gets engaged. Although I won''t be getting engaged anytime soon I totally know where you are coming from with these feelings. It''s true of any situation that doesn''t happen very often (hopefully just once in your case!) - you wouldn''t expect people to be uber-excited if you bought a new shirt or something, but this is an ENGAGEMENT!

Something most girls dream about for a very long time, some longer than others!

It''s not very fun when you call someone with big news and they are like, ''Oh, cool...'' because it rains on your parade somewhat. Even though your mom and FMIL might not be as giddy as you would hope, other people who don''t know all the details already will most likely be super excited for you. You can always come to PS for our genuine excitement at your engagement too...in fact, we''re supposed to be the FIRST to know! Haha

IndyGirl your a gem your friend will appreciate your enthusiasm

elledizzy5 I have warned FF that if anyone says about time (we have been together 10 years) to me that I will be severely annoyed to say the least. Chances are I don''t know if people will be excited as I hope they are, heck my sister can''t even seem to muster any excitement about the fact we are going to Europe she is just being meh, I kinda wish she would get excited for me and be like ohhh do you think he will propose? I think it is like the case of weddings no one cares as much as you do.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/28/2008 3:03:53 PM
Author: Deelight

IndyGirl your a gem your friend will appreciate your enthusiasm

elledizzy5 I have warned FF that if anyone says about time (we have been together 10 years) to me that I will be severely annoyed to say the least. Chances are I don't know if people will be excited as I hope they are, heck my sister can't even seem to muster any excitement about the fact we are going to Europe she is just being meh, I kinda wish she would get excited for me and be like ohhh do you think he will propose? I think it is like the case of weddings no one cares as much as you do.

Thanks Deelight! This might be going off on a tangent, but I had another friend who was chronically single...she would always just go on a few dates with a guy and then never call him again. I was happy for her because she was happy with that lifestyle. In the last year, she has dated the same guy (!) and they will be moving in together in the Fall. I was so happy for her when she told me that she really liked this guy and about their moving plans, although I warned her about moving into HIS house and not talking about where the relationship was headed. She was okay with my advice because she knew I was still happy for her and was just looking out for her. Another friend of hers, on the other hand, just went on and on about how "It's about time she got a boyfriend!" and "How long do you think you'll be together?" My friend was understandably upset by these comments...it just seems that when you've played a certain role amongst your friends for awhile (i.e. the single, no-BF girl), some of them are less than thrilled when you change that role. It's not to say they can't be genuinely happy for you, I just think some people react to change negatively and it comes out of their mouth without thinking. Hopefully none of your friends are like this!

Anyway, back to the OP - PSers will always have your back and roll out the emoties, bold fonts, etc., etc. when you do get that rock!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/28/2008 3:29:32 PM
Author: IndyGirl22

Date: 7/28/2008 3:03:53 PM

Author: Deelight


IndyGirl your a gem your friend will appreciate your enthusiasm


elledizzy5 I have warned FF that if anyone says about time (we have been together 10 years) to me that I will be severely annoyed to say the least. Chances are I don''t know if people will be excited as I hope they are, heck my sister can''t even seem to muster any excitement about the fact we are going to Europe she is just being meh, I kinda wish she would get excited for me and be like ohhh do you think he will propose? I think it is like the case of weddings no one cares as much as you do.

Thanks Deelight! This might be going off on a tangent, but I had another friend who was chronically single...she would always just go on a few dates with a guy and then never call him again. I was happy for her because she was happy with that lifestyle. In the last year, she has dated the same guy (!) and they will be moving in together in the Fall. I was so happy for her when she told me that she really liked this guy and about their moving plans, although I warned her about moving into HIS house and not talking about where the relationship was headed. She was okay with my advice because she knew I was still happy for her and was just looking out for her. Another friend of hers, on the other hand, just went on and on about ''How it''s about time she got a boyfriend!'' and ''How long do you think you''ll be together?'' My friend was understandably upset by these comments...it just seems that when you''ve played a certain role amongst your friends for awhile (i.e. the single, no-BF girl), some of them are less than thrilled when you change that role. It''s not to say they can''t be genuinely happy for you, I just think some people react to change negatively and it comes out of their mouth without thinking. Hopefully none of your friends are like this!


Anyway, back to the OP - PSers will always have your back and roll out the emoties, bold fonts, etc., etc. when you do get that rock!

Indy You have a point, some people are really scared of change and react fairly negatively towards it, it interrupts their comfortable thoughts about the world I guess. I was having a convo with one of my fave buddies today about somewhat the same thing, we were both talking about our friends and how really just being happy for them for me if my friends are happy I am happy for them whether they be single, dating, married whatever.

I hope none of my friends are like that when I announce hopefully they will all be happy and kind and we can all have a massive party .

 

[Sabine]

Awe, that stinks. This is at least half in jest...but you could tell your ff to make sure the proposal itself is beyond spectacular, that way when you tell people you''re engaged, you can give this stupendous story about the proposal itself, so even if they aren''t surprised that it HAPPENED, they can be surprised about HOW it happened

 

[elrohwen]

I just wanted to share my experience because I was in the same situation as you. We''ve been living together more than a year and had the stone from his family way back in November. We just got engaged in June and I have to say, it wasn''t a let down at all! Even though everyone knew we were going to get engaged and treated us like we were, they were all super excited to gush over us, see the ring, ask about wedding plans, etc. I think that the ring is a huge symbol for most people that it''s finally official and they''ll react to it a lot.

So don''t worry! People will be super excited for you

I couldn''t even believe how excited people were at work. One guy found out early on and kept bringing it up in front of other people in meetings and things. So cute! People love engagements

 

[Lauren8211]

Sabine: FF knows what a romantic I am, so he has big plans. I don''t know what, but he''s told me time and time again he wants it to be perfect, and something that I can tell our grandchildren about.

I told him I prefer something intimate and special, and he should NOT have to spend a lot of money on it. He''s not the most romantic guy in the world, but he knows this means a lot to me, and he will do his best.

Elrohwen: That sounds like how my story will play out. Living together just over a year, and receiving the ring from my family I assume about 6 months or so before the proposal is actually going to happen. He said within the year, but I doubt it''ll take him til next summer!

Thats good that everyone was still excited! That''s such a good feeling, I''m glad your engagement brought a lot of gushing! I know I LOVE engagement stories, and gush over them as much as possible. Sometimes I get so wrapped up I even cry! I''m a sensitive girl, I tell ya!

 

[choro72]

Awww, I was worried about the same thing too

My mom and I talked about wedding plans while FI and I were still ring searching! But when it actually happened everyone were excited for us. Don''t worry!

 

[Lauren8211]

Thanks, Choro!

Glad to hear that it worked out well for you. Hopefully that means there''s a chance for me!