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partgypsy

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
6,633
I think many here know my story: I was married for 20 years, going through a divorce. I ended up with no diamond rings from the marriage (long story), though with the amount of time and money invested, assumed I would have at least 1 nice piece at this point in my life (hit 50 year milestone). After separating I bought a half carat ideal cut diamond. I really like the fact that at least I have the diamond, and the consolation at least at some point I'll have it set and be able to wear as part of a right hand ring. I also liked the feeling that, even if I never get it set, I will have at least 1 nice stone to hand down to daughter(s). To set it the way I want, will cost and additional 1K.

However as I am dealing with reality of being single mom, increasingly would like to change my kitchen. It was originally done on a shoe string. Having things like a dishwasher and garbage disposal, and actual counter space, would improve my quality of life and make it easier for me. It's not a need. But it would improve my quality of life.
Obviously I need to get through divorce first, which I hope to happen in next 6 months. But after that what would you do? Would you hold onto that diamond, and proceed with kitchen remodel? Or would you sell diamond and forget about having a diamond ring? PS I do have a boyfriend. But he is not a jewelry person (doesn't see the value in it) and don't anticipate him buying me jewelry in the foreseeable future. However he will help me with kitchen.
a) hold onto diamond in fact get ring done, wait on kitchen remodel
b) hold onto diamond, proceed with kitchen remodel
c) sell diamond, give up idea of diamond ring and use money for kitchen
 
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No offence but is this a joke? Kitchen....quality of life is a daily enjoyment....jewelry can come later. Buy a CZ ring..... My 2 cents.

FM
 
Finley would you do b or c?
 
.

This can't be the Last diamond in your life ... not from what I am hearing here.
 
I don't know. It seems that I hit a time in my life there are always three things ahead of having a diamond ring. But maybe I'll keep the stone, even if it takes years to set.
 
B.
You aren't likely to recoup what you've already invested in the stone, so unless it's an emergency, I wouldn't suggest selling.
But I would also, in the next months or years, look into a less expensive setting of some kind, to that lovely stone gets to see the light of day and hopefully will give you enjoyment of it, until you can put it in it's forever setting. (Pendant, maybe? Whatever is least costly.)
 
KaeKae said:
B.
You aren't likely to recoup what you've already invested in the stone, so unless it's an emergency, I wouldn't suggest selling.
But I would also, in the next months or years, look into a less expensive setting of some kind, to that lovely stone gets to see the light of day and hopefully will give you enjoyment of it, until you can put it in it's forever setting. (Pendant, maybe? Whatever is least costly.)
Click to expand...
I like that idea, but then I think any temp setting I get, takes away from $ to do real reset. And even cheap resets are 400-500! Not much different than to do what I really want. Urgh. I do have a 30 point diamond ring I wear, and I have a tiny diamond pendant (14pts) I enjoy wearing, so I am not completely blingless! Sometimes I'm itchy scratchy about the whole thing, sometimes it's no big deal.
 
Ask kaekae pointed out, you are likely to lose money on outright sale. I would try to find a temp setting for now on LT/DB and figure out how to earn a little extra to save up for kitchen remodel.
 
Kitchen renovations cost a fortune. I don't think selling the stone and copping a loss on it will solved all your kitchen problems. Keep the stone, wack it in a cheap n cheerful setting that you like enough, wear it and enjoy it. Save up for the kitchen.

I would answer differently if you didn't have the stone already but since you do just enjoy it. Life is short.
 
Thanks everyone! I need to take everything 1 step at a time: get a divorce, do my taxes, pay off a new heating/cooling system (fun!), then see where I'm at. I do want to be able to look at my stone and enjoy it... And the kitchen remodel may be more doable if I either wait a year, or do it in stages.
 
And if anyone sees an inexpensive fabulous setting for a 1/2 carat center stone with side diamonds, let me know!
 
@partgypsy, I choose B. You already have the diamond and as others have said you would lose money on that if you sold it so hold onto it. One caveat. Be careful with the reno. I am regretting ours right now as the contractor and his wife (and business partner) are not trustworthy individuals and there was no way we could have known that before we started. We did our due diligence etc yet here we are. And they are nickel and dining (to the tune of tens of thousands) us to death on this project. I am not going into detail but please be very careful. You don't need any more stress than what you are currently going through and just wanted to add my thoughts in case it could help you be even more careful.

Hugs and I am sorry for all your hardships and hoping this is the beginning of a happy new life for you and your family.
 
Thank you Missy, for thinking of me. If I did it, I would GC myself. It would only really be possible, if the guy I was seeing, helped me, because he knows reliable but reasonable cost people, for things like plumbing, electrician, and general reno work. BUT- it also means a lot more hands on work on my part, and I don't have much time (or money!) right now. I'm not yet in a place of comfort to start something like this. It's hard. There are so many things I want to do now. Like go on a nice trip. For all these things, I will have to be either extremely creative, or wait.
 
Partgypsy, I think you will be sad without your diamond from what I can read. I agree with @mellowyellowgirl and would put it in a simple setting to enjoy it since the kitchen will cost so much more that it will really not be a significant delay because of that but the enjoyment may help you in this time of high stress. Perhaps later you can reset it or upgrade it. BF will help you with the kitchen and today simple setting would only run you a couple of hundred.
 
I would save up to do the kitchen, do it once and do it well. As Missy says, it’s very expensive, but once it’s done, not only will it improve your life, it’ll potentially increase the value of your home.

Start collecting pictures of things you’d like in your kitchen, and when funds allow, you’ll know exactly what you want.

Fortunately my experience was the other side of the coin, we got a contractor who was very honest and trustworthy, no hidden extras and he did a fantastic job.

FWIW I’ve been married 40 years this year, and only just got an ER, so there’s still time!
 
Thank you Austina!
 
@partgypsy I wanted to add one more point. I think it is a very common misconception that renovating your kitchen will be worth it monetarily by what it adds to the value of your real estate investment. This is not strictly true. Do the kitchen if it will bring you pleasure and joy and that is the main reason to do it IMO. Renovating a kitchen will not add the price of the reno to the value of the home generally.

You're less likely to recoup your investment in a major kitchen or bathroom remodel than a minor remodel so something to keep in mind. Do it for yourself and not for increasing your home investment for resale.

What you'll get back on your investment depends on the value of your house and the value of houses in your neighborhood and the housing market where you live. And the quality of the project and how long you live in the house after the reno (before you sell). The less you spend on the reno the more of that money you will recoup when you go to sell generally. Good news if you are doing a minor reno. Major reno work and you will much less likely recoup the cost of that reno when you sell the house. You probably already know this but thought it worth it to add just in case.

IMO home improvement isn't about return on investment but about making your home dreams come true...so do it for you and if you do it without expecting any return on that investment you will come out ahead.
 
keep the stone, do the kitchen.. you might meet someone.. you are only 50... resale value on your house would rise :)
 
My eternal problem: champagne tastes on a beer budget : )
 
I have a crap kitchen and a pretty ring. I cook everyday and the food comes out just as well as if I had a designer kitchen. Everyone I know has a better kitchen. But I love:love: my ring. Remodeling a kitchen is a really big expense...far more than a three stone diamond setting. Get the ring and enjoy it. Then figure out later what you want to do with the kitchen.
 
I would set the stone and enjoy it. Sometimes one just have to be able to feel that you can have control over something. Way easier to have your stone set than finish a kitchen remodel, 1k might not even cover for small amount of demolition....
 
Thanks for the feedback! Talked to bf, and he has already found a nice stainless steel oven/gas range, and a bosche dishwasher at a big discount. He also has someone lined up to take a chimney out in the kitchen, which will allow more counterspace and a corner cabinet. I was planning to move the gas range, but if I leave where it is, it will bring the cost down. So a little nervewracking to think about. I need to think about configerations. it might be possible for me to have the kitchen and the ring. It's not going to be a showplace kitchen (leave the floors, same tile backsplash, reuse most of the cabinetry) but it would be more functional, with a new stove, dishwasher, and additional counterspace. If I did put in a really nice kitchen it actually would pay for itself when the house is sold (because of my location). But- I want to keep my house and want to keep costs down. And, I need to have divorce finalized as well.
 
That sounds great! Have your cake and eat it too. ;-) You actually deserve it. Keep us posted about how it goes.
 
I think your plan sounds really good partgypsy! I was going to suggest before your last post about just getting a dishwasher for now, that would really be a help and a time-saver for you. What you're thinking of doing sounds great. Another thought is to paint your cabinets to freshen things up, seems like it's a popular thing to do these days. You've been through a lot and I'd hate to see you lose something that brings you so much joy.
 
Got the chimney removed from kitchen. Wow that was a big deal! Now I just need to figure out where to put stove, and then make a plan. I could keep it where it is, but then the vent hood doesn't really "vent" Or I could move 90" to be against outside wall, where can get a real range hood. I'd prefer to do that, but it will cost more. I don't know how much it will cost to do piping to move where the stove currently sits. It is a gas range. Plus whatever the new range hood costs.
 
Wanted to give people update on kitchen. It is not completely done, but it's 75% done. The cabinets were pulled out and re-installed using new configuration. Moved the stove to outside wall after all, and I like the use of space much better. Used old cabinets, plus a couple purchased new. I used budget granite instead of the custom granite (not as nice of an install but saves 1400). New dishwasher, sink and faucet, disposal, and gas stove! Boyfriend found great deals on the appliances, plus has been helping. Still to do: electrical and lighting work, some cabinetry work (installing doors and drawer fronts, adjusting a drawer not working right, installing lazy susan/ or shelving), sanding and painting walls and ceiling, installing backsplash, and refinishing floors. It's not cheap, but all told it will be less than 5K, versus 10 to 20K.
Would I would have liked an even nicer kitchen remodel? I'm not going to say no. But, I'm a single income parent and I want to be able to stay in the house.
It has been feeling really good decluttering everywhere, and choosing more neutral off/white colors both in kitchen and in future rest of house, to make things feel open and restful.
 
It sounds great @partgypsy - looking forward to photos :)
 
Omigosh @partgypsy it sounds amazing!!! I'm so excited for you, PLEASE post pics when it's done!
 
B14EE182-B454-4E31-94C1-967E8A82EE80.jpeg I just wanted to toss in that Ivy and Rose have lovely settings from $169 add $50 setting fee, bonus if you’re a 6.5 ring size (otherwise a bit extra for re-sizing).
Plus I love this one at $395, you can have either a ruby or sapphire surround. $395.
Lovely kitchen and lovely ring?
 
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