Lately some of the posts...

[Mandarine]

have gotten a little controversial!

I''m sort of new to these forums so I don''t know if it''s normal...but I''ve seen some people getting off track on some threads (not just on this forum, but on some of the other ones). This is about sharing ideas and for us (LIWs) talking about this waiting game...feeling like we are not crazy and that many of us feel the excat same way!...

I do sometimes run accross a thread that I might not agree with or whatever...and I might just pass them without answering...or give my perspective in a constructive way.

Anyway...I don''t know what I''m trying to say, but can we all just get along?

M~

 

[plantationcatt]

Ditto! LIW Love!!!

 

[ilovesparkles]

I feel you 100% mandarine! My mom and I were actually talking about this tonight. And how ridiculous it is and the nasty things people can say or maybe harmless things that are taken wrong. I have become frustrated because this is where we have all come to SUPPORT eachother and share in the experience not criticize and judge. Such is life I guess. I know there are people on here that are worth so much and others that need tobe taken with a grain of salt occasionaly. enough said.

Amanda

 

[MINE!!]

Interesting observation Mandarine. I know that there are some threads that do get heated.. such being Around the World thread. Somtimes people are quite sensitive and I personally have been confronted with the fact that I cannot express sarcasm as easily in writing as in person. But I have seen a few spats here and there.. I know a lot of the old timers do it like they are spatting with family. I suppose I feel that way at times as well. I am sorry that you feel this way about Pscope, I love it here just because I do not feel that it is as nasty as other places on the net.

I do not frequent this forum too often, so I am not sure if the reference was made mainly to the forum though.......

BTW~ Why the name Madarine? What does it mean? LIke Mandarine Garnet

?

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 3/28/2006 11:14:31 PM
Author: MINE!!
Interesting observation Mandarine. I know that there are some threads that do get heated.. such being Around the World thread. Somtimes people are quite sensitive and I personally have been confronted with the fact that I cannot express sarcasm as easily in writing as in person. But I have seen a few spats here and there.. I know a lot of the old timers do it like they are spatting with family. I suppose I feel that way at times as well. I am sorry that you feel this way about Pscope, I love it here just because I do not feel that it is as nasty as other places on the net.


I do not frequent this forum too often, so I am not sure if the reference was made mainly to the forum though.......


BTW~ Why the name Madarine? What does it mean? LIke Mandarine Garnet

?

There have been several threads lately that have gotten sidetracked with issues of the best age to get engaged or married, whether couples *should* live together before marriage, etc. A lot of these issues hit pretty close to home, which probably doesn''t help.

I agree that it''s best to stick to the topic and to help each other out, but I''ve found myself guilty at times of being caught up into the new topic. I''m going to work on that.

I think I offended someone on the forum game thread tonight because of a very poorly worded comment not directed towards her.

 

[indecisive]

Eeek I saw that Blenheim and I totally got what you meant. I don''t think it was offensive at all. Maybe people on PS are so synchronized that everyone gets PS at the same time

 

[Blenheim]

Thanks, indecisive, that makes me feel better. Did you mean PMS?

 

[Mandarine]

Hi Mine!!!!. Well, I personally haven''t been offended or confronted...so I didn''t mean it because of me. I have shared my opnions and then wondered if maybe something I said has offended someone....so I try to be conscious of this...in some situations I have seen some answers in the threads that just may be a little too much over the top and those are what I''m referring to when I say "off-track".

I am not referring about not agreeing with each other. For example, in the Bride''s forum yes, I confess...I go there from time to time!!!). They were talking about traditional vs "cookie cutter" weddings. The thread just got off to the wrong track and the "traditional"brides thought they were being judged. I don''t think the intention was to judge anyone but to share views!!....so again....in this case it might just be miscommunication. I personally wouldn''t get offended or take it personally if someone didn''t agree with my opinion, but I would get offended if someone said made a personal harsh comment about me or something similar.

I don''t feel anything negative about PS!...sorry if my post came out that way

. I love it here too!!!

I just made that comment after having read one of thread that seemed too harsh...

Anyway. I hope you guys know what I meant!. I know there will be difference of opinions! that is why we are all here!.

Anyway...I should get ready for work!!

Mandarine - My best friend gave me that nick name in school (when we were like 8!)

M~

 

[amyg]

I think I offended someone on the forum game thread tonight because of a very poorly worded comment not directed towards her.

I was following as well Blenheim, and totally new you were talking about your snorting... obviously just a misunderstanding...don''t feel bad.

 

[Mandarine]

Blenheim...I don''t even know what post you guys are talking about...hahaha...
so obviously my post was not directed to anything you have said...I have actually never seen anything that could be interpreted as offensive from you!

 

[stermag]

I happen to think it''s silly to take personally anything that''s said, whether directly to me or just to the group in general, by a person I don''t even know on a web forum I visit from time to time. It''s obvious to me that we are a group of strangers who share a common interest but, in many cases, little else.

Still, I welcome any and all opinions, whether or not they are inline with my own. As long as nobody is being blatantly vulgar or disrespectful, I don''t see a problem with a heated discussion. I''m not particularly confrontational but I do enjoy an occasional clash of the minds. At the end of the day, though, I will always shake your hand.

"Let''s just all get along" is a little bit too Pollyanna for me. "Let''s all respect one another," on the other hand, is a message I can stand behind.

 

[MINE!!]

BLE~ HMLR was actually responding to a question that I had posted earlier. She had misunderstood why it was asked.. so I know it was me not you. But all is well.

YEH, I have reasd the tradtional vs. Unique forums and I was a tweaked. But you know, some forums do get kinda pretentious. I have had to really train myself just to keep the heck out of ththreads that I do not like.

So~ I completely gotcha.

 

[Angela1977]

Excellent post stermag.

I have been guilty of a feather ruffling. I got my feelings hurt unnecessarily, but i agree that people get upset when something isn''t directed AT them and they take offense at it. No one should get offended at a general statement of someone''s opinion. It''s a message board...people from all walks of life are here. It''s a lot of energy spent to get offended at something like that. We may not all agree, but that''s to be expected. Wouldn''t it be boring if we all did agree? What would be the point of boards like this? I like lively debate...I tend to thrive on it. But after the gauntlets are thrown, and the "fighting" is over, we should be able to shake hands and lay it to rest. There are many more important things out there...

I''m thrilled I found this site. What a sanity booster!

 

[Mandarine]

"Let''s just all get along" is a little bit too Pollyanna for me. "Let''s all respect one another," on the other hand, is a message I can stand behind


I just used it as an expression...not to be taking literally!

....I don''t know what Pollyanna means (english it''s not my first language)...but I''m totally with you...I meant let''s respect each other!. I love to get opinions...like I said, that''s why we are all here! it would be way too boring (and freaky) if we all had the same opnions!

Anyhow..I think you guys know what I meant...by all means open to opinions and debates...just not open to disrespectful comments

 

[Mara]

as one of the old timers here, i really don''t ever get offended, and i am not sensitive at all....maybe sometimes that is a detriment on the forums because so many people are easily offended in general. some feel like you should walk on eggshells because people can''t see your face or don''t know you as you type something. but to me that''s a waste of everyone''s time, trying to ''predict'' how others will react. if people can''t just come out and say what they feel (which face it, sometimes is ''you are acting a little psycho'' or something similar), then there is no point to this place at all. sometimes i feel like on PS in general people are hugely too pollyana, don''t often say what they think for fear of hurting feelings and at times can be continued enablers of bad behavior or similar. aka ''i''m so upset over this i''m crying'' ... if a friend said that to me (actually a friend did say that last week to me), i was like ''WHY are you crying??!'' my first instinct is not to go ''oh poor dear don''t cry''...it''s ''wooah wait why are you crying over this?''. i''m also not a crier at all so i really can''t relate, it''s too emotional for me to digest so i typically just skitter away from that thread because if i said what i''d say to a real friend in life, the PS''er would probably flip out and scream at me about being evil or something whereas my friend in real life would know enough about me to not presume that i''m trying to be a bitch, i''m just confused on how to proceed.

but anyway, if there is something that being here 3+ years has shown me it''s that it is fairly simple to get into heated disagreements but still shake hands, let it go at the end of a thread and move on. there are only maybe one or two people i dislike in all of PS, others may irritate me or i may disagree frequuently with them but i still respect them. i also don''t think being friends or friendly with someone here exclues being able to disagree with them, i am really close with aljdewey and we have disagreements where even we have to be like ''okay you know we are spinning in circles here and won''t agree, lets talk about something else''...no feelings hurt, no big deal. there have even been threads previously, way back when, when someone told me ''oh my god mara you would wear white off of rice'', aka meaning i am super stubborn and tenacious and won''t give up on my point (to agree with her!). some would take offense at being coined stubborn or obstinate, but that gal and i are friends and it''s because i respect her experience and point of view though we do often still disagree.

mandarine, i don''t recall any big threads that have gotten so out of control lately, actually PS has been very mellow lately. sure there have been a few ''i''m so offended'' things lately which are kind of funny because i just don''t understand why anyone would spend their time on here reading something then getting offended. what a waste of your time! bottom line, pick and choose what you read and/or respond to and just realize there are SO many different personalities on here. in real life i would probably only get along with maybe 1/2 of the people here! but on the forum we all have to coexist peacefully. oh and i would say in general to people that when someone says something, don''t make too many assumptions or read too much into things.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Mandarine - Polyanne: an old movie about a little orphan girl that had to go live with her cranky and unhappy aunt. She was cheerful and bright and never down and played something called the "Glad Game". Very sappy. Hence the "can''t we all just get along" or "everything is just hunkydory no matter waht" sense.

 

[Blenheim]

Mandarine, don''t worry, I didn''t think that this thread was directed at my comment in another forum.

I was mostly responding to Mine''s comment about spats and how it''s hard to express sarcasm in writing. I wrote something that could easily be taken two ways, and another person thought I was directing it at her while I was actually poking fun at myself (I explained and it''s fine now.)

Mara, there are so many new LIWs who don''t have as much of a basis of comparison regarding how heated threads generally are. I think I''ve heard others say that it''s gotten pretty tame lately, though!

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/29/2006 2:28:20 PM
Author: Blenheim
Mandarine, don''t worry, I didn''t think that this thread was directed at my comment in another forum.

I was mostly responding to Mine''s comment about spats and how it''s hard to express sarcasm in writing. I wrote something that could easily be taken two ways, and another person thought I was directing it at her while I was actually poking fun at myself (I explained and it''s fine now.)

Mara, there are so many new LIWs who don''t have as much of a basis of comparison regarding how heated threads generally are. I think I''ve heard others say that it''s gotten pretty tame lately, though!

Oh Blenheim you are obviously very sweet and if I was more familiar with your postings I would have known right away that you couldn''t have meant to be sarcastic, but honestly, at the time, I really couldn''t read it any other way.

Only this monring, after I saw what you meant and reread your comment did I realize the jist of it! I shouldn''t have been so defensive. I can''t even lay claim to PMS!

LOLOL

Heather

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/28/2006 6:08:11 PM
Author:Mandarine
have gotten a little controversial!

I do sometimes run accross a thread that I might not agree with or whatever...and I might just pass them without answering...or give my perspective in a constructive way.

Anyway...I don''t know what I''m trying to say, but can we all just get along?

M~

nahhh....there haven''t been good fight on PS lately.

 

[Blenheim]

Hlmr, after I saw your comment, I re-read my original post and realized that it could be taken as offensive. I''m not at all mad at you, but frustrated at myself for poor wording and upsetting you.

Dancing Fire, for those of us who are relatively new, what would you consider a good fight?

 

[Mara]

blen you are a real sweetie.

i''m not heather (who has already said it''s no biggie!), but i will say that you have no reason to be upset or FRUSTRATED with yourself for your wording!! you did nothing wrong, something was misunderstood and that was it.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 3/30/2006 12:00:06 AM
Author: Blenheim
Hlmr, after I saw your comment, I re-read my original post and realized that it could be taken as offensive. I'm not at all mad at you, but frustrated at myself for poor wording and upsetting you.


Dancing Fire, for those of us who are relatively new, what would you consider a good fight?

lol, are you sure you want to open up that can of worms?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/30/2006 12:00:06 AM
Author: Blenheim
Hlmr, after I saw your comment, I re-read my original post and realized that it could be taken as offensive. I''m not at all mad at you, but frustrated at myself for poor wording and upsetting you.

Dancing Fire, for those of us who are relatively new, what would you consider a good fight?

do a search under "PS greatest fights"

j/k.

and no...i wasn''t involve in anyone of them.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/30/2006 12:00:06 AM
Author: Blenheim
Hlmr, after I saw your comment, I re-read my original post and realized that it could be taken as offensive. I''m not at all mad at you, but frustrated at myself for poor wording and upsetting you.

Dancing Fire, for those of us who are relatively new, what would you consider a good fight?

Blenheim - You shouldn''t be frustrated with yourself for poor wording and upsetting me. I made an assumption about your comment that was completely false and I think that happens here quite regularly. I appreciate you conceding that the comment could have been taken either way though. Thanks for being so empathetic and kind.

Heather

p.s. DF may not have been involved by participating but his threads have started many a battle!