laws

[strmrdr]

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you''ll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don''t want to be seen with

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won''t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy''s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don''t know what you are talking about.

Brown''s Law: If the shoe fits, it''s ugly.

Oliver''s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson''s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Law of the movies: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, someone will walk in and sit next to you.

Law of buses: No matter where you sit, a crazy person will sit next to you.

Law of trains: If you get there late, the train will have left on time. If you get there on time, the train will be late.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 7/30/2006 9:05:55 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
Law of the movies: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, someone will walk in and sit next to you.

Law of buses: No matter where you sit, a crazy person will sit next to you.

Law of trains: If you get there late, the train will have left on time. If you get there on time, the train will be late.

How about Law of movies2: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, and it''s one minute until the feature is scheduled to begin, and an entire family will enter and sit in front of you.

 

[FireGoddess]

LOL. To ALL...cuz it''s so true....

 

[AndyRosse]

LOL strm, love them!

 

[galeteia]

Date: 7/30/2006 9:05:55 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
Law of the movies: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, someone will walk in and sit next to you.

Law of buses: No matter where you sit, a crazy person will sit next to you.

Law of trains: If you get there late, the train will have left on time. If you get there on time, the train will be late.

The bane of my existence! Buses do this ALL THE TIME.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 7/30/2006 10:51:11 AM
Author: justjulia

Date: 7/30/2006 9:05:55 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
Law of the movies: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, someone will walk in and sit next to you.

Law of buses: No matter where you sit, a crazy person will sit next to you.

Law of trains: If you get there late, the train will have left on time. If you get there on time, the train will be late.

How about Law of movies2: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, and it''s one minute until the feature is scheduled to begin, and an entire family will enter and sit in front of you.

lol thats why I never go to movies.

 

[Starset]

As soon as you wash your car a bird will sh!t on it.

If you wear white pants you will drip something on them.

If you''ve just given your dog a bath, then next time he''s outside, he''ll run through a swampy ditch which he otherwise never knew was there.

 

[fatafelice]

Date: 7/30/2006 12:21:16 AM
Author:strmrdr

Wilson''s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

LOL! Story of my life! Perfume, restaurant entrees, toilet paper...happens to me ALL the time. My FI and I were looking at china the other day (but not registering for a few months) and I saw a pattern I really liked, which happened to be on sale. FI joked not to get too attached because they were probably discontinuing it.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 7/31/2006 2:34:56 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 7/30/2006 10:51:11 AM
Author: justjulia

Date: 7/30/2006 9:05:55 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
Law of the movies: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, someone will walk in and sit next to you.

Law of buses: No matter where you sit, a crazy person will sit next to you.

Law of trains: If you get there late, the train will have left on time. If you get there on time, the train will be late.

How about Law of movies2: If you''re sitting in an empty theater, and it''s one minute until the feature is scheduled to begin, and an entire family will enter and sit in front of you.

lol thats why I never go to movies.

Yeah, ok, like when my dh and I went to see the second Pirates of the Carib the other day, this family (the one that sat in front of us)--the lady in the family had on this VERY sweet noxious perfume. I thought I was going to pass out. It was like being on the ship with all the musty decaying sails and all...we were transported there!! ack I swear until I identified where it was coming from, I thought they were piping it in on purpose like surround sound and smell.

 

[Rod]

Plus you have to add that the family member who does sit directly in front of you will be at least 7 feet tall and you will leave the movie theatre with a stiff neck from having to watch the movie with your head angled to the right or left. Never fails, or maybe I''m just short............