Le sigh (new here)

[misskitty]

Hi ladies!

I''ve been lurking around for a little bit, and decided I should finally register. I''ve been with my guy for about a year and a half now, and we''re definitely both on the same page as far as marriage and our future together goes.

The problem? I know the proposal isn''t coming anytime soon (grad school isn''t cheap, and we''re both trying to save as much money as we can) but he won''t stop mentioning wedding stuff! Don''t get me wrong - I think it''s great that he likes to talk about our future, and it''s awesome that he has some ideas in mind for our wedding (locations, photographers, cakes, et cetera), but it''s pure torture that he''s constantly talking about wedding-related stuff when he''s already made it clear that a proposal is not on the immediate horizon. (and I''m 99% sure he''s not just saying this to throw me off) I don''t mind so much being a LIW as having constant reminders of it from him!

Anyone got any suggestions for how to deal? I think I''m going to lose my mind if he asks for another photographer''s card at a friend''s wedding.

 

[cbs102]

I feel you girl. i would be confused and irritated too!!! how are you 99% sure that he not doing this to throw you off? these do seem like signs that he is getting ready to "take the plunge". i suggest you talking to him. explaining how although you are also very excited about your future as well it is hard for you constantly being teased and hopeful that a proposal is in your near future!!

good luck and luckily you have a guy that is just as excited to marry you as you are to marry him!!!

 

[purrfectpear]

I don''t get him at all? I completely understand about not being ready to get married yet due to finances, but if he''s so gung ho, why not go ahead and get engaged? That part doesn''t have to cost a lot of money. Have him save a little, buy a ring and then have a long engagement. Then he can talk about wedding planning until you''re sick of it, or he''s blue in the face

 

[LaraOnline]

I notice that everyone is slow in replying.

That is because you do not really have a problem. Sure, it is irritating to have a man that is practically begging to marry you. But rest assured, this is not a big issue.

Perhaps he is pulling your chain? Alas, I think not. He seems genuine. Lucky you. Next thread!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 8/21/2008 9:11:37 AM
Author: purrfectpear
I don''t get him at all? I completely understand about not being ready to get married yet due to finances, but if he''s so gung ho, why not go ahead and get engaged? That part doesn''t have to cost a lot of money. Have him save a little, buy a ring and then have a long engagement. Then he can talk about wedding planning until you''re sick of it, or he''s blue in the face

Purrfect Pear! A perfect response!

L.

 

[jcarlylew]

I''m sorry! I agree with purrfect too.

 

[SparklyLibra]

Hi MissKitty!

I''m new here too, glad you came out of lurkdom.... I think the best way to put your mind at ease is to just talk to him. Be honest and frank and let him know that you want to marry him, but need to know if he is sure he feels the same way about you. If he says yes, then great! If he says yes, but not right now, then tell him what constantly talking about it does to you emotionally (emotional rollercoaster), and try to gently probe for what his timeline is for a proposal. In my opinion, if the two of you are marriage minded & know beyond a shadow of a doubt that each of you are "IT" for one another, then a proposal should not take long to come by.

(sometimes that can take time, and testing... Lord knows we had several years of testing before we were absolutely sure.. Maybe he''s just trynna watch and see how your relationship fares with the challenges of grad school over time....)

Again, if he''s not ready to get engaged just yet, then gently remind him that talking about it as though it''s imminent if it is not, is kind of unfair considering how much you dream of it actually happening in the near future, especially based on him mentioning it so often....

It''s better to know exactly where you stand with the matters of the heart.

HTH,

SparklyLibra

 

[vita*dolce]

ugh. yuck! i''ve been in that position, too. sometimes my boyfriend does this, and i just tell him that it''s the meanest kind of mean to tease me like that if it''s not coming any time soon. he seems to get it. just let him know he''s making you a tiny bit crazy!! he probably just doesn''t realize how intense the waiting game is.

good luck, girl!! we''re all here if you need to vent.