Lets play... help melissasue sort out her bridesmaid dress options

[MelissaSue]

I''m starting to get a little nervous about the Bridesmaid dress thing, like I''ll NEVER find one. Then the lady in the bridal shop today (the one lady there that I REALLY am not fond of.. i love the shop, but this woman gets on my NERVES). tells me that I need to order ASAP.. up to 8 months in advance... which would be September! Yeah.. way to stress me out lady.
I DON''T want to do different dresses.. but I really have major extremes.. probably a size 2 and a size 24 (or bigger possibliy?) and then two in between (i''d guess a 6 and a 12 maybe). I''m HOPEFULLY taking two BMs shopping thursday (FSIL size 2, and my sister, size 12ish).. but I''m just trying to figure out what my options are.

Here are some pics of all of them so you can get an idea

This is my teeny itty bitty little FSIL. She''s 19 and microscopic. She''s 5''2" and about a size 2

My two best friends.. The thin one has probably LOST even more weight since then.. She''s about 5''6"
and my little best friend has gained weight since then and is now pregnant, and will have her baby approximately two months before my wedding.. will still be nursing.. soooo.. her chest is only going to get bigger. Her wedding dress was an 18 but too small in the chest, so I think a size 24 with the additional weight gain and boobage, is a fair guess.. She''s also 4''11"

These are both of my beautiful sister. The one of us standing is REALLY old, so I put the more recent one, even though its not a full body shot, plust I can show off my beautiful neices and nephew (ringbearer and flowergirls) and my booootiful mommy!. My sisters baby is a year old, and my sister now weighs LESS THAN SHE HAS EVER IN HER LIFE (Well aside from childhood).. she looks fantastic, and I think will look great in anything. She''s around 5''4" and probably a size 12 in Bm dress sizes.

OKay.. those are my BMs.. dress choices to follow!

 

[MelissaSue]

Okay this one WAS my top choice, however, my best friend doesn''t really like it, thinks will hug her curves too much.. AND.. its getting discontinued, so I''d have to order it by the end of August.. Its pretty much eliminated.

This one is the other favorite. I''ve liked it for a long time.. and I just found out I can get it for $93 from Netbride.com.

I love this one too, haven''t tried it on yet though. I don''t know.. would it look silly to have my bms in such a full skirt with my dress being so slim?

I am absolutely freaking in love with this dress, but its WAY TOO Much money

There are some other choices that are similar to those, along the same lines, strapless a-line.. which I think looks great on lots of people..

Here''s the thing.. Best friend would prefer something with thicker straps so she didn''t have to wear a strapless bra, (all the strapless dresses come with optional spaghetti straps so she doesn''t have to wear the dress strapless) but I REALLY don''t like many of the thick strapped dresses I''ve found (We determined empire waists are out too, due to the boob thing). I also think that often times they make the girls look LARGER.

Here are the acceptable choices I''ve found

and

but I''m afraid they would make her look even bigger, and look silly on the small girls.

 

[Tybee]

MelissaSue,
You know that I want to play!
I love the strapless dresses the best too, BUT it would be pretty unfair to put a top-heavy friend in a strapless dress, especially since she will be breast feeding.
Obviously you will be better able to make your decision after your lovely bridesmaids try on the dresses.
I know that you don''t want to have them in different dresses, but what about the last dresses that you posted? They are all similar, but there is the option of being strapless or w/ sleeves. They might look great on "real" people.
I''ve come to not trust model pictures so much anymore.
I''ve noticed that you like the pink dresses with a different color bow, perhaps you could get that option with the last dresses?
All in all, I say listen to your bridesmaids. They''ll really appreciate you if you do your best to accomodate their needs. You are such a sweetheart, though, I can''t imagine you''d do anything different!

 

[glaucomflecken]

MS-

I had the exact same problem as you! Here's the rundown of my girls:
4'10" 125 lbs
5'5" 115 lbs
5'7" 180 lbs
5'11" 250 lbs

They all threatened to disown me if I chose a strapless of spaghetti strap dress, and I was not into the idea of mismatched dresses. I thought about shawls over them but know that they would not wear a shawl all night so I too axed that idea.

So the one I picked looks similar to the last two dresses you posted. I liked it because it covered them up and they could do regular bras if they want but was still cute and flattering. The only thing I am concerned with mine is the way the ribbons are around the waist. I havent seen them on them yet but my bigger BM's are concerned with their "stomach rolls" and if the thinner ribbons around the waist will accentuate it. I think the second choice would be more flattering if one of your girls was concerned about that because the thicker band seems like it would conceal that more or give the illusion of a flatter stomach?

But I like the second to last one because I love love love bows! and LOVE your colors! sorry i am no help.

i just went to a wedding a few weeks ago and none of the BM were large but one was very top heavy and she was in a strapless dress. the poor girl looked so uncomfortable and we were just waiting for her to fall out of it when she was dancing...

here's a pic of our dresses, pretty similar style

 

[MelissaSue]

Tybee- I was all about that last option.. until I saw this in a knotties bio..

Those are the exact dresses, and I know that bride had the best intentions.. but it just makes the big girl look BIGGER!

I have no problem with adding the spaghetti straps to any of the strapless dresses, but then the strapless bra is the problem..

 

[glaucomflecken]

sorry to butt in but i see what you mean...i wonder if its because the contrast is so great between the band and the dress that it draws your eye alllll the way around that poor girl because its so bright and noticeable. i wonder if it was a more subtle color or if the two colors were more similar it would be less of an effect like that...


one thing though your bridesmaids do not seem as big as the girl in the pics!

 

[qtiekiki]

MelissaSue - I don''t think your little best friend will look bigger in the dress because she is curvy and the dress will accentuate her curve. The problem of the knottie''s bm is that she is more boxy than curvy, so the dress further hid her curve (hope this makes sense to you). Also the knottie''s bm is right next to a really skinny bm, so she looks bigger. But since you have BMs that ranged in different sizes, so you can stand them in an order where your little best friend won''t be next to the skinnest BM. That''s just my opinion on the situation but not on the dresses.

 

[Blue824]

omg, the placement of that pink band for the heavier girl is just soo bad....

are you going shopping with your friend who is pregnant? she seems like the one you''d want to make sure the dress looked good & she liked the most. has she suggested any dress styles that she knows she likes or has she gotten to look online and found anything?

would you ever do the ribbon/bow accent up at the top of the dress instead of around the waist? it might be more flattering?

 

[Tybee]

Oh my,
Not flattering. That''s pretty much what I mean about seeing the dresses on real people!!!
Makes one reconsider, doesn''t it? I love seeing real people in dresses!
The more slender BM looks terrific in it, though, doesn''t she?
PunchNpie has a really great point, though, that bridesmaid is not built the same way as
your best friend. You''ll never really know until they try on the dresses.
Your best friend has a waist, that girl was barrel shaped.
I don''t think that the ribbon waist would be unflattering on your friend.

 

[Blue824]

I guess something like this is what I was thinking with the accent on the top instead. I know the picture is with the black skirt, but you can order it with the pink.

 

[teebee]

Date: 7/26/2005 9:48:49 PM
Author:MelissaSue
I''m starting to get a little nervous about the Bridesmaid dress thing, like I''ll NEVER find one. Then the lady in the bridal shop today (the one lady there that I REALLY am not fond of.. i love the shop, but this woman gets on my NERVES). tells me that I need to order ASAP.. up to 8 months in advance... which would be September! Yeah.. way to stress me out lady.

UH.... I haven''t been able to read a word past what you said here... September?!?!?! CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girl, we have the same date and I''ve been totally thinking I''ve got until like November?!?!?! crap crap crap crap crap.... Sorry, I am being so totally useless in regards to your dilemna... I''m just blown away by the word "SEPTEMBER"!!! Okay, I''m going to try to get ahold of myself now and read through the rest of your post!

 

[MelissaSue]

You girls are so great. I love PS.

Blue - I love that dress you posted.. and yes. I''m totally open to the bow up on top, as long as there is some black on the dress.
This particular shopping trip I am hoping to go with my sister who has not yet gone to try on dresses with me (or seen my dress for that matter..) and FSIL. I really hope my sister is able to come with, because although she will look good in anything, she is the one that I know for SURE will tell me what she really thinks.. Thats the great thing about sisters, I guess.

Shopping with pregnant bridesmiad is difficult.. she lives two hours away

Also, she did go shopping with me once.. and it was very difficult to even TRY to see what would look good on her, because the dresses are always a size 10, or possibly a 12.. We did manage to find the second dress on my original post in an 18, and it was actually VERY flattering on her figure.. so the only problem is how uncomfortable she''d be in a strapless bra. She seemed to like the high necked dress with the black bow (the first non strapless one).. but I actually haven''t yet seen that one in person. I want her to be comfortable and feel good about how she looks.

Oh! There is one more.. I just saw this online yesterday, and I looked for it in the bridal shop today and couldn''t find it.. but I thought this dress might be a little more of universally flattering option.. and I could always add a ribbon or sash or something

It doesn''t actually scrunch up on the side, the model is just holding it up like that. Its definitely bra-able.. and i think its a little more stylish than the others.

and this is another one I''ve considered.. again..adding a little ribbon to it..

A couple of the girls in my friends wedding actually wore it.. and it seems like it would look good on just about anyone.. I''ll attach an absolutely awful pic of them, but the best pic I have. Put FI in charge of pics, so all I have is pics of me, the bride, and some of the flowergirls.. Its the dress the girls on the ends are wearing.

 

[saturn]

I really like the first of the two you just posted.
I also like the Davinci bateau-neck one, but i think that it may be less univerally flattering. I really like that neckline, and thought I wanted something like it for my dress, but when I tried a few I found that it makes me look like I have no neck.

I think that the problem with the wide sash dress is really one of placement. The way it wraps around the hips instead of the waist can be really unflattering if you don''t have the right body type for it.

I like all of your choices, but I can relate to your bridesmaids'' desire not to wear strapless dresses. I''m sure you''ll make a great decision and all of your bridesmaids will look fabulous on your wedding day!

 

[longtimelurker]

All of your dress options look nice & I''m no help on that. But one practical thing to consider: You said one of the BM''s will be breastfeeding a 2 month old. Please try to find a dress that doesn''t require going to the bathroom & basically undressing with a back zipper (and maybe lifting the dress over her head) each & every time her baby wants to eat -- which could be hourly at that point. Something she could actually pull down (and cover up with a shaw) might be better.

 

[JessesGrl]

Blue24- That dress you posted is great!!!
Melissa- I love the second dress you posted on your list of dresses, I don''t think it''s too poofy...
I had the same problem, one FSIL is 90 pounds, the other is "much" bigger...I let the girls pick the dress that way no one would bitch at me...it worked out well!!!

 

[kanne]

MS

have you thought about getting the dresses made by a seamstress? this may be a good option and then everyone would be happy. When I was looking, I got quote here in NY for 200/dress including alterations and fabric etc. Not a bad deal when you think about it..

Maybe a pretty v-neck a-line for your breastfeeding BM? Everyone else in strapless..and they could all have matching sashes. I know that the salon lady is telling you that you must order the BM dresses 8 months out...but really..I''ll bet they can do it in 4 months.

 

[glaucomflecken]

Date: 7/27/2005 8:14:19 AM
Author: lovey
MS


have you thought about getting the dresses made by a seamstress? this may be a good option and then everyone would be happy. When I was looking, I got quote here in NY for 200/dress including alterations and fabric etc. Not a bad deal when you think about it..


Maybe a pretty v-neck a-line for your breastfeeding BM? Everyone else in strapless..and they could all have matching sashes. I know that the salon lady is telling you that you must order the BM dresses 8 months out...but really..I''ll bet they can do it in 4 months.

wow that might not be a bad idea! my girls paid about that much for a non custom made dress!

our BM dresses came in in about 4 months, 8 seems like a lot unless its a super famous designer?

 

[jellybean]

I was thinking maybe a v-neck type dress too (not to confuse you with more ideas

). I found this one on Jim Hjelm''s website (like his styles since my BM''s dresses were by him too

). I think the v-neck/crossover style is flattering to almost anyone, especially someone with a larger chest.

 

[njc]

MS - I really like the second one (the $93 netbride one). Its similar to dress i picked out for my girls (strapless A-lline) and I have a range as well... two size 2s one with no boobs, one with DD, a 6, an 8 and a 14. Everyone looks FANTASTIC... i couldnt believe it and i actually think my largest BM looks the best in it!

Your preg BM tried on the $93 dress right, and it looked good? I know its hard to figure out how she'll feel in a strapless bra 10 months from now, but ask her if she thinks she would be okay. Maybe at the reception she could put a regular bra back on (clear straps?) with a nice shawl or shoulder wrap to help her out?

Being a large girl myself (size 14) and understanding the struggle of too small of samples, my only other suggestion would be for her to go to Davids (lots of size and styles) JUST to try on the different styles of tops. I know the dresses you like could/would be different, but its at least something?

GOOD LUCK!

 

[eks6426]

I love the dress jellybean posted. You could replace the belt with a black one. It allows girls to wear a regular bra and should look good on both the curvy girls and the thinner ones. You might really want to find a dress for your nursing bridesmaid that accomodates a regular bra--she might need breast pads too to make sure there aren''t any "leaks"--and those are awefully hard to use in a strapless bra. I was a nursing bridesmaid with a curvy figure once too and my friend picked a dress that caused me to wear one of those convertable bras that wrapped around my waist since it the dress was low-backed. It was a real pain to get into the bra--and even more of a pain when I had to nurse my child during the reception. I actually had to have another bridesmaid come into the restroom to get me out of the funky bra AND back into it. Just my $.02 worth....

 

[HOUMedGal]

Beautiful choices!!! First off, I wanted to address your concern about it looking funny for your BMs to have fuller skirts up against your slim dress...I don''t think that looks bad AT ALL, in fact I think having your BMs in a slightly fuller skirt provides a nice contrast and distinguishes you even further as THE BRIDE. I think getting TOO matchy matchy can be a bad thing.

That said, I think the $93 one is very pretty, and looks pretty forgiving and like it would work for several different figures. And you can''t beat the price!

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Date: 7/27/2005 9:17:02 AM
Author: njc
MS - I really like the second one (the $93 netbride one). Its similar to dress i picked out for my girls (strapless A-lline) and I have a range as well... two size 2s one with no boobs, one with DD, a 6, an 8 and a 14. Everyone looks FANTASTIC... i couldnt believe it and i actually think my largest BM looks the best in it!


Your preg BM tried on the $93 dress right, and it looked good? I know its hard to figure out how she'll feel in a strapless bra 10 months from now, but ask her if she thinks she would be okay. Maybe at the reception she could put a regular bra back on (clear straps?) with a nice shawl or shoulder wrap to help her out?


Being a large girl myself (size 14) and understanding the struggle of too small of samples, my only other suggestion would be for her to go to Davids (lots of size and styles) JUST to try on the different styles of tops. I know the dresses you like could/would be different, but its at least something?


GOOD LUCK!

njc at a size 14 you are definitely not large!

but i know how you feel, I wear a 12 and i swear the samples were always an 8 in both the BM and bridal gowns!

 

[MissAva]

Are the girls okay with how close tho their waists the dresses you are looking at will be? I would think that those styles would be most flattering on the tiny FSIL...but satin and ones cut like that tend to highlight every belly pouch and hip area issue. How are they feeling about this?

 

[JCJD]

Date: 7/27/2005 9:14:41 AM
Author: jellybean
I was thinking maybe a v-neck type dress too (not to confuse you with more ideas

). I found this one on Jim Hjelm''s website (like his styles since my BM''s dresses were by him too

). I think the v-neck/crossover style is flattering to almost anyone, especially someone with a larger chest.

No.... the crossover styles are NOT at all flattering on me, but it would be great on my 38DD sister! I''m not flat (34C), but the crossover tops make me look small and sagging

. I do think this style would be great for your little best friend - she had a sweetheart neckline wedding gown, right? It would make her look busty in a good way I think, and it would be very conducive to breastfeeding.

I think your BMs would look great if they all picked out of a group of styles, like Davids'' mix and match dresses. Not at all like that Knottie picture (poor girl.....).

I REALLY like lovey''s seamstress idea! You can pick out the fabric everyone has to use and given a style (i.e. A-line, floor-length), they can have the dresses made exactly the way they want them! I suggest having them made as 2-pieces - so versatile!

Hmmm... which will be MOH? You could denote the MOH with a different style than the other girls. For example, your sis is MOH, put her in strapless with the other girls in a flattering V-neck or boatneck. You have 2 MOH''s, your sis and little best friend? Put them both in a V-neck (or something they both like) with the others in strapless. Or you could have the girls in one of 2 styles and stagger the girls so it''s strapless, V-neck, strapless, V-neck.

BTW, your nieces and nephew are so adorable!!! Baby looks so serious.

Your sister and mom are so beautiful too!

 

[JCJD]

It occurred to me that you''re probably stressing a LOT right now, so I''m going to say this and run.

BM dresses are notorious for being poorly-fitted, unflattering, never-to-be-worn-again atrocities. This is why many of us brides go to such lengths to pick a dress for our dear friends that is flattering and could be worn again. However, you cannot let this decision consume you. Once you''ve made your decision, whatever it is, you should stand by it, no matter what your BMs say (or don''t say) about it. Most of your girls already know what it''s like to make this decision and how difficult it is to please everyone, especially a group of girls this varied in shape and size, while still achieving a consistent look. Be firm, be tolerant and understanding of their complaints if there are any, and know that people only fight with those that they love.

 

[PaulaW]

Melissa, I totally feel your pain. I was in a very similar situation and thankfully had a very good sales person at my dress shop that helped me out. First and foremost, I''m plus size and find that an A-line cut looks the best on me and just about flatters everyone. I highly recommend it and in fact, the second dress you like from netbride.com fits that exactly! I think if you stay away from any horizontal stripe or major color change in the waist/hip area, you''ll be ok. The example of the dress in black with magenta sash is exactly why. Here''s a pic of my girls and I - you''ll notice the range in sizes and the fact that they are strapless. I think we looked pretty good! I would try and talk to the girls who are against strapless, that is actually the most flattering on plus sized girls since you''re eye tends to be drawn where material is so cap sleeves and straps actually accentuate more than anything. Good luck to you - you''ll figure it out!

 

[kanne]

gorgeous picture!!! ALL of your gals looked lovely and happy. That dress is perfect. Love how it flows.

 

[eks6426]

PaulaW''s girls looked great. I think part of the secret is the fabic. It wasn''t shiny and looked like the top layer was chiffon or crepe which allowed it to flow rather than showing every little bump like the shiny satin dresses will.

 

[Rube]

Melissa Sue- maybe you can show the picture of PaulaW''s girls to your bridesmaids. They do look great in the strapless dresses! Some Saturday you can help your nursing bridesmaid find a strapless bra that is really good.

 

[PaulaW]

Aww thanks guys, you''re very sweet! I appreciate the comments!
Islanddreams is correct, the dress was chiffon and made a big difference. I got married in Key West so I wanted to make sure they were comfortable so I stayed away from satins or heavy fabrics even though Jim Hjelm had some gorgeous ones!