LIW Joining the Ranks..

[elation]

Hey everyone!
I''m new here, but have been lurking for a while with madd LIW syndrome.

Bit of background.. the BF and I lived in the same university residence three doors down the hall and in second year, we started dating. So I''ve been dating for a bit more than two and a half years, and in January of 2008, the BF and I wandered into a diamond store. From then, I''ve tried my hardest to not bring it up or think anything of it.. (as I''ve told him that a ring from him for me should have both a taste of him and his taste for me - is that a bad move?). I know he likes the classic RB, but I prefer EC and rings that aren''t flashy-flashy (trait of the engineer?). I think I prefer not to pester him with this though I think I want EC, but also want it to be entirely his pick! It''s a ring I''ll see forever.. should I just forget that and start throwing pics at him or should I have some faith and let him do his thing?

Also, I know he is not an incredibly resourceful guy and will most assuredly not find PS.. so I''m worried about how he''s going to be finding his quality pick and good pricing. Should I bring this up? About three sets of friends have gotten engaged and married so I''m sure he could ask them for pointers, but I''m not sure about how they go about it either! Then again, I see the ring as a reflection of his ability to provide for a future family and a physical sign of what I am worth to him (and I don''t mean that to mean the blinger the better). Perhaps it''s better to leave him do as he will and not interfere...

Actually.. I think it''s part of the syndrome that''s making me worry.
I should stop.
Argh.

 

[lucyandroger]

Welcome, Elation

I personally don''t see anything wrong with getting involved in designing the ering. I''m taking a huge role in designing my ering with my BF''s input. It makes sense for us since BF knows nothing about jewelry and I really like looking at diamonds, settings, etc. Your BF can still be in charge of the actual proposal and make that a surprise if that''s important to you guys.

If you don''t want to be involved though, you can always leave little hints around. Since you have lots of friends who''ve gotten married recently, you can make comments to your BF about their rings as hints. For example, Jane''s ring is pretty but I much prefer something more interesting like an emerald cut center stone.

Or you could say, "I wonder if John put a lot of research into diamonds before buying Jane''s ring...It''s so important to understand cut quality before making such a big purchase."

Either way, keep us updated!

 

[purselover]

Hi There

I would definitly send him a few pics of ring styles you like, since this is something you plan on wearing forever it''s important you love it. He can still choose which one in the ends but at least he''ll have a good idea of what you want.

 

[rialaine]

Welcome!!!

I don''t see anything wrong with discussing what your preferences are. Show him examples of pictures of rings you like (and maybe some pictures of rings you absolutely hate- so he knows what to avoid!) and recommend Pricescope if he wants to learn more. You can also go browsing the stores & try on rings. Then leave the final decision up to him.

Once he realizes how big of purchase this is- A. Its costly & B. Its something you & him will be staring at for the rest of your lives.... He''ll want to do is research. I compared purchasing a diamond to purchasing a car & my FF totally got it! He got all excited about learning about diamonds & is eager to use his education & great persuasion skills to buy my ring at a great price.

 

[lilmissrugger]

"If you don''t want to be involved though, you can always leave little hints around. Since you have lots of friends who''ve gotten married recently, you can make comments to your BF about their rings as hints. For example, Jane''s ring is pretty but I much prefer something more interesting like an emerald cut center stone. Or you could say, "I wonder if John put a lot of research into diamonds before buying Jane''s ring...It''s so important to understand cut quality before making such a big purchase."


That''s such great advice!! Things like that will make men think-- "oh, should I do some research? Ha, I''ll be ahead of John!"

Ahhh, men and competition

 

[idreamofcushions]

Welcome!

Don''t feel bad about having a little input on the ring. It seems like you definitely won''t be pushy about it, and pointing him in the right direction will help both of you -- you''ll get what you really want and he won''t be clueless. It''s win-win.

 

[wishinpink]

Welcome!

Why not send him the link to this site and just tell him to save it for future reference and make him promise to read up on diamonds before buying.

 

[Indylady]

Ditto with Rosebud!

Telling him just those simple little things: not flashy, EC....will still leave PLENTY for him to come up with!
Plat/wg, diamonds on the band, halo, side stones, etc. I think it will be just a tiny bump and that the ring will mostly still be something that he has come up with.

 

[sparklyheart]

Hi Elation!

Welcome to PS.

If you don''t want to be completely involved in the process, I would at least throw out words like "emerald cut" and "not flashy".. Guys can get very focused on one thing, i.e. "must have a SPARKLY ring" and forget that there are other diamond shapes and settings. If you at least point him towards emerald cuts then he can go from there. From what I''ve seen with the guys around me, they REALLY want to pick the perfect ring and the ring that their girl will love. The girls REALLY want the perfect ring of their dreams. As we all know, guys are not mind readers.. So if you never tell him what you want then you will end up with a RB!

 

[jcarlylew]

Welcome!
The best way for you both to decide what you like, is try things on! take him with you, and have him get into the "technical" speak of it. E hated ring shopping until the SA asked if we wanted to see it under a microscope, etc. Well boy oh boy did that get eric interested!

 

[Squirrly]

hello

if the EC and not flashy is all you think that you want to tell him, but don''t really want to say it yourself, discuss it with your friends, especially the ones he''s comfortable talking to and would be likely to talk to for some help

if any of them happen to be especially gifted with switching conversation topics without arousing suspicion, they could even mention it to him possibly while talking about this cool diamond site they found while researching/using the stumble button

that way you didn''t tell him, and you don''t have to know if/when he''s been told and if/when he''s looking into it, unless he starts discussing it with you.

 

[elation]

Thanks so much for all the great ideas! Haha, some of them are really good. I always imagined that if it was something I didn''t really like, an upgrade was always possible (in a while, that is).

I think my little concern came up because his idea of ''engagement ring'' and mine just don''t line up; he likes the RB solitaire. But he also subtly commented - I''m not sure if it was on purpose - that he thought his friends'' girls were obsessive and demanding when it came to their rings.
That kind of made me pipe down. Then again, maybe they ARE a bit demanding...

 

[jcarlylew]

i bet you''ll be able to find a good mix between wanting a certain style, and demanding.
"I really like this style" is not nearly as bad as "if you dont get me this, i wont say yes"

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/9/2009 1:55:47 PM
Author: jcarlylew
i bet you''ll be able to find a good mix between wanting a certain style, and demanding.
''I really like this style'' is not nearly as bad as ''if you dont get me this, i wont say yes''

True. I think we all have a dream e-ring. (Mine changes every 8-10 months, lol.) I don''t think stating a preference is over the top. I do think stating a preference every day (just in case he didn''t get it

) is over the top.

Best of luck, and welcome to PS and LIW!

 

[jcarlylew]

your right! my dream ring is actually quite different from what we picked out. but E was not in love with the dream ring, and since the stone comes from my gma, i really wanted his input on the ring too.

 

[princesss]

Yeah, the last few dream rings have been (in reverse order, starting with my current favourite):

1. Something like coati''s reset or arjunajane''s ring in her av. James Meyer, OEC/OMC/transitional. Guh-guh-guh-GORGEOUS. With a Bev K sapphire wband (a la the Tessa ring).

2. Shared prong eternity

3. HW-inspired yellow sapphire cushion with super dainty halo

4. Ephemery1''s ring, only with blue or yellow sapphire rounds instead of diamonds

5. boston_jeff''s ring. *drool*

 

[Dreamgirl]

A big warm welcome to you!

 

[rialaine]

Onto the dream ring thing:

I had been in LOVE with Radiants for years now. But the ring I tried on the other day when I went ring "window shopping" with FF was a RB and I am soooo head over heels for it! I''m actually picturing it on my finger right now as I type this post!

lol. Its so funny. I never thought I would love a RB so much! I tried a RB and a Radiant in practically the same setting & did a side by side comparision with one on each hand & I was just drawn to the RB.

I''m kind of in a weird place bc I have wanted the Radiant for so long, I kind of feel like I''m abandoning it. lol. Its making me a lil nervous to say that the RB is the one!

 

[elation]

Haha I slipped in a comment about the importance of an engagement ring to the boy, and he came back with "well, they say it''s something that a girl will look at about a million times in her life so it''d better be something she likes".
Lookin; good!

I hear you on the dream ring thing! I''m just never sure which ring will really stick with me and be something I drool a bit over every time I look at it. I think he said that fact scares him: a bit scared of disappointing.

I mainly pine over three-stone emerald cuts with much smaller princess cuts as side stones.. however, this is my latest infatuation. I''m really not sure if it''ll stick! Not sure how a wedding band is supposed to go beside that either.. Picture with an emerald cut in the center:

 

[rialaine]

Ooooh that is delicious!! Now I''m questioning my RB again... Dangit!!