LONG ENGAGEMENT, MOST LIKELY TO GET DIVORCED?

[whitediamonds]

Did you ever hear of this old wives tale?

 

[Patty]

I replied that this is the best poll I've ever taken. LOL! I'm glad that you have a sense of humor, whitediamonds.

 

[glitterata]

Once again, you've contructed a lopsided and poorly thought-out poll.

You have a million choices that basically mean yes, but few that mean no.

What about "I think a long engagement gives the couple time to get to know each other"? "I think a long engagement gives a couple time to save money for a good start in life"? "I think a long engagement gives the couple time to plan a wedding"?

 

[Mara]

We got engaged LAST JAN and are getting married in May. So almost a year and a half engagement. The reason we planned it for May 2004 is so that we could pay for the wedding entirely ourselves with cash. We could have done last fall, but I wanted it in spring. So that obviously pushes us to around April/May. Hawaii is better in May than April. That's our reasoning. Doesn't have a thing to do with whether or not we are committed or one of us wants to remain single.




Have to agree with glitterata that yes again....the poll answers are not well thought-out and PLEASE TURN OFF THE CAPS. Jeez. I think my head is sore from banging it.

 

[whitediamonds]

I am friends with a lot of guys and they tell me (in confidence) that they have done this (set a later date) to push it off; many others have strayed after marriage.
It makes sense I guess. So many people use excuses for reasons why they have a long engagement, but don't believe them! So many people are prideful... A lot of women have babies right away too to keep their man with them. A security measure...

It's in human nature to stray, I guess.

That's nice that you're going to Hawaii, did u ever hear of Choking Ghosts? Saw on TLC Haunted Hawaii program. Don't take any seashells or anything with you,supposedly the spirits will travel home w/ u.

I loved FIJI for my honeymoon. We are planning a trip around the world. I agree, we paid in cash for our wedding as well. COO-DOES!

When I met the love of my life -he proposed less than 6 months later and we married 12 months later.

 

[aljdewey]

WHAT IS IT ABOUT "PLEASE DON'T POST IN ALL CAPS" THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND???????????

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Sorry sweetie, but I'm having a pretty difficult time believing you're married. All of your polls sounds so hostile towards relationships and marriage that I can't imagine someone so immature being married in a healthy relationship.


Michelle

 

[fire&ice]

Well, I am an old wife & I've never heard of this "wives tale".

 

[KittyTiger]

WD, out of curiousity, how old are you?

 

[Mara]

I am friends with alot of guys too and I don't know one who has set a later date because he just was trying to get out of it. Then again that sounds like something an immature kid would do. Shouldn't be engaged in the first place. As for human nature to stray...stop watching those Disovery channel shows! That doesn't sound like a healthy attitude towards marriage..aka that FOREVER thing.

 

[fire&ice]

Sorry - double post when I meant to edit.

 

[fire&ice]

----------------
On 1/8/2004 3:41:23 PM Leota wrote:


WD, out of curiousity, how old are you?
----------------

So, I'm not the only one.

Let's do a poll.

 

[Heyjud]

I'm also a VERY old wife (some days OLDER than others).....and I also never heard of this one! Sometimes long engagments are due to circumstances out of control, such as wedding scheduling issues, or finishing school, etc.

 

[winyan]

WD...

Err, there's no place for I never heard of this before.

win

 

[Patty]

I'm an old married person and I've never heard this either.

My husband and I got engaged after dating 4 months and married 4 months after that.

 

[valeria101]

I did hear about this: it was in some statistical joke about marriage habits in different countries. Not sure I can retrieve it (this was a way ago). But there are so many such conflicting studies...

 

[fire&ice]

Ana,

The old wives tale/statistics revolve around the longer one dates (after 18 mos)with no ring the less likely a proposal will come.

In the US, there is no such wives tale. In fact, statistics show that just the opposite is true. And, ultimately the success of a marriage has nothing to do with length of engagement. Whoever posted about life's circumstances was correct in my book. And, waiting for the right time denotes maturity to me.

Also to add: real men don't naturally stray. Women don't force men into engagement. Women aren't always out to flaunt their jewelry & the computer image of a comparision of a D/F/G is not going to help anyone. And most people do not get confused when viewing a d & G side by side in a real life senario- most people decide if *they* can see a difference or not. And many people with 3c diamond rings are just that - a diamond, not a cz or whatever.

End of story.

 

[hoorray]

Once again, F&I just sums it all up.

I haven't ventured into these debates until now, but just have to say I agree with MichelleCarmen. WD, you sound angry and/or bitter and your polls sound as if they have an agenda. Are you still married, or is that the root of your anger?

 

[jenibear]

If I've heard anything about the length of engagement it was those that get married too soon are likely to break up.
But I don't believe that either.
One of my best friend's parents knew each other for a month when they decided to get married more than 25 years ago.
And then I know people (my FI's parents) who dated for years and were engaged for years before they married - and they are still very much in love and committed.
And then - shocker - I know people (my parents) who married after years of dating because the woman got pregnant. And guess what? My crazy parents are more in love now than they were when they were newlyweds (pregnant with my older sister). They are constantly going on romantic trips together.
I think it comes down to everyone's personal situation.

 

[whitediamonds]

Hey yall! Glad to hear you love my poll. Refreshing, isn't it?
I love diamonds , you have no idea! I took your advice and chat in the diamond hangout area instead of rocky talky. Diamond hangout is defined as: "diamond or non-related ..."

Look ma, NO CAPS!

Actually to answer your questions:
1. I am 30 yr old female
2. No anga, whatsoever, just have an inquisitive mind. (inquiring minds want 2 know)
3. doctorate in philosophy
Just call me Dr. White Diamonds.

LOVE
White Diamonds

 

[AGBF]

----------------
On 1/8/2004 8:02:51 PM whitediamonds wrote:




3. doctorate in philosophy

----------------

Would that be a doctor of philosophy (Ph.D.)or a doctor of philosophy (Ph.D.) in Philosophy? If it is the latter, did you take Symbolic Logic? That is the only Philosophy class I ever took and I *really* hated it.

 

[tlee]

Nope, the poll answers don’t seem to makes sense. Ironic isn't it? Logic is one of the first lower division classes that philosophy majors have to take.

I just have a comment on WD's posts in general. I'm a grad student with a masters degree and currently working on my PhD. I've TA-ed more courses than you can shake a stick at. And one of the things that irks me the most is grading papers and exams answers which lack logic. It takes me 10 times longer to grade those assignments than ones that have been well thought out. Usually it's b/c the student didn't put any effort into the paper or they didn't study for the exam. I really hope that's the case with WD, that she's making these posts in haste and not b/c she lacks logic. If the latter were true, then I really question the integrity of the school that awarded her the degree.

Whitediamonds, I'm sure you were a TA once. Remember all the times students asked you simple questions that were clearly spelled out in the syllabus? What about all those times you tried to help them by making comments on their papers only to have them ignored? And I’m sure you’ve written multiple choice exam or quiz questions before. If you had given this poll as a quiz, do you think your students would have been happy?

Just be a little more thoughtful when you post a question or make a request. The people here aren't trying to be mean. They're just getting a little miffed b/c they've put a lot of thought into answering your questions but most of their advice has gone unheeded.

T

 

[canadiangrrl]

AGBF, I love you.

I've never heard of this old wives tale.

However, on the topic of straying, I don't believe that monogamy comes naturally to humans. I believe it's a choice, and a tough one at times, if one is honest. Whether it is a worthwhile choice is entirely up to the chooser - but I don't believe monogamy (or marriage, for that matter) is for everyone.

Canadiangrrl, who has a 'piled higher and deeper' in "The Simpsons" trivia and Scooby-Doo

 

[whitediamonds]

Yes, you are right, I also heard it is not "natural" to humans to be monog.

for all yous who only write mean things:
As for all the negativity, don't hate the player, hate
the game.

My theory holds true, anyone can sit in a class and get a ph.d.

You girls who are nice: it is a pleasure "speaking" with you and thank you for your help w/ diamonds.

 

[canadiangrrl]

I didn't say it wasn't natural for humans to be monogamous. I said that I don't believe it comes naturally to humans - a shade of a difference, but a valuable one nevertheless.

As someone with a few doctorates in her family, I don't believe just anyone can get a piled higher and deeper. You have to really be willing to suck up to faculty, and that doesn't come naturally to everyone.

 

[mike04456]

I have been married for 12 years and never heard this one. FWIW, we were engaged about 7 months but would have been longer if the place we did it at hadn't had a cancellation.




The only easy way to get a Ph.D. is through the mail, and I say this as someone with both an advanced degree myself and a wife with two who spent 15 years working in academia.

 

[winyan]

Hey LG...

"Through the mail???" You mean via off site learning aka, internet schools?

win

 

[strmrdr]

Someone could have 5 degrees and still not know anything useful.
With the current state of colleges today its even likely.

 

[Jennifer5973]

I just have to chime in.... I was engaged for 3 years so my husband could finish Law school... We've been hapilly married for 7 years.

A person is made up of his/her totality...a degree, ivy league education, or anything else doesn't mean a thing on its own in defining a person's merits ...I've met many a moron with one or more Ivy League degrees...being able to study for tests and play the school game alone doesn't make for smarts. Conversely, NOT having those things hardly makes you stupid or inept.

AI have an MBA and was first in my college and MBA classes (after finishing these degrees on academic scholarships)... I CHOSE not to attend Ivy league schools becasue I woud have had to pay, borrow heavily and go into six-figure debt. I took a lot of heat for these decisions because so much value is placed in names in our world...but boy I sure as hell don't regeret it...

... because it now leaves me with more money for diamonds.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
On 1/9/2004 8:58:24 PM winyan wrote:

Hey LG...

'Through the mail???' You mean via off site learning aka, internet schools?

win----------------

You can get doctorates through correspondance schools. I took an accounting class from a teacher who referred to herself as Dr. ****, who as it turned out had earned her doctorate in typing through the mail! lol (My friend started working for this teacher and saw the certificate on this teacher's wall.)

Michelle