Major second guessing now...

[marlie]

Hi all...
Yet another post about this. Sorry in advance, but this is causing me some serious anxiety for some reason. So, I''m really feeling weird about my dress. I want to try it on again to remind myself that I love it. I think the pics that I have don''t look right and I want to remember why I loved it so much. I think I can fix the things I''m worrying about in the alterations but need to put my mind at ease since I have 6-7 months before then.

Here''s my question. I got my dress from Selia Yang. It''s a small place in NYC, not like a Kleinfeld''s or anything. As it is, I''ve been there 4 times...once to first look, then to go back with my fam/friends, then to take another friend who wanted to see and then the last time when I actually bought it. I''m embarrassed to go back b/c i feel like they are going to think I''m crazy bridezilla girl. Do you think it''s bad to ask if I can come in quickly to try it on again or will they hate me? Not sure what else to do to stop the second guessing monster at this point. Any advice or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. I''m super stressed about this.

 

[sonnyjane]

Honestly? Who cares. I wouldn''t let embarrassment keep me from feeling sure about my wedding dress. I bought my dress on the first visit, but went back two other times to try on other gowns "just to see". I am positive that you are not the first to do this, and I can almost assure you that there have been brides that went back to their store even more than four times. Just tell them you''re "visiting" your dress!

 

[vc10um]

Date: 10/14/2009 11:08:07 AM
Author: sonnyjane
Honestly? Who cares. I wouldn''t let embarrassment keep me from feeling sure about my wedding dress. I bought my dress on the first visit, but went back two other times to try on other gowns ''just to see''. I am positive that you are not the first to do this, and I can almost assure you that there have been brides that went back to their store even more than four times. Just tell them you''re ''visiting'' your dress!

Agreed!

 

[violet3]

Ditto above - go try it on!

 

[havernell]

You paid a lot of money for a dress- I think you have the right to try it on whenever you wish. If you feel you need an "excuse" to go in and try it on, bring in some jewelry and tell them you want to put on the dress with a few different necklaces and earrings to help you decide on your wedding jewelry. But honestly, I don''t think you need an excuse at all. I think a lot of brides do this, and the store will see it as totally normal.

 

[dani2142]

Go back girlie! Who cares! I was feeling the same way as you are and took my dress back into the store where I bought it to try it on along with another one I liked. I was there for 3 hours trying them on back and fourth and I''m sure I was driving everyone there nuts. They all thought I was crazy to second guess my dress choice but I had to be sure. To be honest with you, I didn''t feel any better after I left there with my original dress. When I felt better is when I took it to the lady who is doing my alterations. She showed me that it needed to be taken in and some other things had to be done to it and showed me how it would look. That''s when I fell back in love with my dress. Take your dress to alterations girlie. Maybe you are having the same problem as me. I felt the sample in the store was more fitted to me, then my actual dress. Good luck!

 

[marlie]

Thanks, I think i will go back. It''s just going to be slightly awkward I guess but I just want to love it again so it''ll be worth it. I thought about shopping for a different dress but I can''t get my deposit back and I think it''ll just confuse me more. I have to make this dress into something i am going to LOVE.

The thing that is strange about this dress situation is that instead of buying a dress in a certain size based on and as close as to my measurements, they create the dress for my measurements. There''s no stock of dresses in various sizes. I think she''s ordered the fabric but in April, I get measured and the fabric gets cut accordingly and then I go in for fittings in June. So, i know that it will fit perfectly by the time it''s done but I have some concerns about the neckline and silhouette. I want it to flare out more dramatically then it''s doing. I sometimes feel like it looks too plain and i think if the shape was more dramatic, i''ll feel more bridal. I also think that the neckline needs to be ''sexier''. Just either sweethearted (which I know they won''t want to do really) or a more pronounced scoop.

It''s a bit silly that I''m all stressed out about a dress, isn''t it?

 

[princessplease]

Marlie- I''m sorry you''re going going through this. I would definitely go back and try it on. You made a
purchase from the store, so in my mind, you''re definitely entitled to go back. It''s your wedding dress, and you are 100% entitled to love it and try it on as often as you need to in order to assess how you truly feel about thr dress. I''ve tried mine on about 4 times since I bought it lol.
A suggestion to you: try it on with your wedding day hair, veil and tiara, (if you have them) and makeup. This way you can see how everything will tie together. I would also take pics of how it all looks so you can refer back to them. Keep us posted!!!

 

[LabRatPhD]

Hi Marlie!

Don''t be embarrassed! A wedding dress is a big commitment and an emotional purchase. I think we brides need a lot of reassurance that we made the best decision for us, especially since we must wait months before we see the dress again. You should certainly go back and try it on again to remember how much you love it!

I ordered my dress last Saturday and I have already called my consultant back in a panic because I wasn''t sure how the dress would look shortened (I''m a measly 5''3''''). My consultant was very reassuring that everything would look perfect and was totally understanding about my concerns. Who knows how many more times I will call before the dress actually comes!

It really doesn''t matter what the consultants think as long as you feel better about your selection. Good luck!

 

[marlie]

thanks everyone. you are making me feel like i''m not as crazy as i thought. i really think i will go back. the problem is that what makes it especially awkward is that selia is kind of the consultant. it''s great to have the actual designer there, discussing the dress with you and all of that, but it makes it kind of awkward to talk about the details about it that i want changed. i''ll just have to figure out delicate wording to make sure she realizes that i''m not insulting her work, just want to make sure that i end up in the dress of my dreams.

also, i wonder if any of you photoshop experts could help me sort of mock up the changes that i''m imagining and let me know what you think. i''m looking for a more pronounced scoop (or sweetheart) neckline and a more dramatic flare out of the skirt (planning on asking for another layer of crinoline) there will be a little toole at the neckline but that''s not a big deal. FI is a photoshop expert but clearly i can''t ask for his help here.

again, you ladies are the best and i thank you for making me sane again...for now.

 

[honey22]

Hi Marlie, firstly don''t stress about going back to visit your dress. I am sure they have seen a million brides do the same thing!

And secondly, like you, I am having my dress made to measure. I was able to make quite a few changes. ie. where the neckline started, the shape, extend the train, convert the dress to strapless, add a runch/pickup thingy, so I would say they could probably do the same for you, hopefully with minimal extra cost.

Just go in there and explain your concerns, it''s better to speak up now, rather than later. Being a smaller salon that make to measure, I am sure they can work with you.

It''s a gorgeous dress BTW!!!

 

[cocolaw]

that is such a beautiful dress! please don''t feel bad about asking for changes to the dress. you already selected one of their dresses, which is a huge compliment to the designers. they understand that many brides have an image of how they want to look on their wedding day, and i think they sort of expect you to want changes to get the dress as close as possible to your vision.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Go try it on again. I am sure they are very used to it.

I had similar feelings towards my dress. I went in to get the peticoat and came out the dressing room to flag down an associate and have her get my dress so I could try it on again - only this wasn''t really "my dress" as I had my official dress at home. She gladly pulled the same dress in my size so I could try it on again. I tell you, just seeing myself in the dress reminded me why I chose it and rekindled my excitement!

 

[marlie]

yeah, i definitely think i need to go back. thanks for the reassurance everyone. i''m very particular and like things how i like them. that said, i''m also the person who''d sit in the hairstyling chair getting a haircut and afraid to tell the stylist that i don''t like what he''s doing. i just hate to offend creativity for whatever reason. maybe b/c i have a creative job myself. who knows. i have to remind myself that this is the only time i can have a dress made the way i want so i better (for lack of a better phrase) sack up. i want to LOOOOVE it. Ok, i''ll see if i can get an appointment for next week.

thanks girls.

 

[joelly]

Marlie, you are the diva for your wedding day so try not to feel embarrassed asking ppl to do what you want them to do. Make sure that everything is up to your standard for the day of your wedding. I do understand how you feel though cause I''m guilty of it as well but my FI reminds me that the wedding party will be for me so I have to make sure that my dress, my hair, and everything about me is up to my standard. Remember that the wedding day will not be a rehearsal. You can''t repeat that day. So...good luck!!!!