Marriage Blessed

[Courtneylub]

I am wanting to get our marriage blessed in the Catholic church, but my fiance is weary about it. I believe he will need to sign something swearing to raise our children Catholic and that''s what he believes is the biggest problem. He feels we should raise them Christian, period. Does anyone know about this kind of contract in the church?

Xapoc, I found the thread you did on this matter. Have you had it blessed yet?

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/blessed-by-catholic-church.57590/

 

[Courtneylub]

Xapora, I mean.

 

[Delster]

I think to have a blessing, as opposed to participating in the full sacrament of marriage, you wouldn''t have to sign anything about your children''s faith? I could be wrong though. Over here, people have their rings, their houses, even their new cars blessed - all with no conditions attached!

 

[October2008bride]

My FI and I went to the Catholic Church to ask the same thing - we are getting married in the Anglican Church, and my FI wanted to ''get permission'' to be married elsewhere but still remain Catholic.

Basically, we were told that he could continue coming to Catholic church, but he could no longer take communion.

We asked if the marriage could be blessed afterwards, and he said yes, but we''d still have to go through all the same hoops as if we were trying to get married there (marriage course, signing that agreement to bring the kids up Catholic etc.)

So, according to our experience, yes, for the marriage to be properly blessed in the Catholic church, your FI would have to sign that thing saying he''ll bring the kids up Catholic etc.

Hope that helps!

 

[Delster]

It''s interesting the differences. What I''ve seen over here is that the Catholic party is the one asked to promise the children are raised Catholic. The non-Catholic party doesn''t have to commit to anything. The Catholic party doesn''t even have to sign anything, and it''s recognised that the promise is one to try and ensure the children are raised Catholic, but that this may not always be possible.

October2008Bride, I am so shocked at how your FI was treated. The Catholic Church here actually facilitates inter-Church marriages with the ceremony con-celebrated by officiants from both Churches. There''s info here: http://www.together.ie/mixed.htm My Uncle married in the Anglican Church and he still receives Communion.

Courtneylub, what kind of a ceremony does your FI want? Will any of the issues October2008Bride apply to you if you marry in another Church?

Obviously your best bet is to contact your priest and ask!

 

[Courtneylub]

We are having a non-denominational ceremony with a Christian preacher. I would like it blessed, but I know my FI won''t give in if he feels forced into doing something that he doesn''t think he can 100% promise. ie: raising the children Catholic.

If what you say is true, that may be helpful on my part. My cousin and her husband attend a Catholis church one week, and his Pres. church the next. I would be open to attending a different church well, just as long as my children are raised in a church.

 

[mimzy]

courtney-

my FI and i are in the exact same position, just flipped. We went to his priest to ask what our options were and he said that we could either A)do some paperwork before the marriage, including the premarital counseling and it would be recognized as soon as we got married wherever or B) have the marriage convalidated in a little ceremony after the official ceremony (this way was not preferred by the priest, btw).

either way it didn't matter that only one of us was a practicing catholic and there was no mention of having to sign anything about raising kids. i think whoever said that that only applies to the catholic in the relationship was right - the other person isn't obligated. however, i think the whole thing (options and all) depends on which priest at which parish you talk to. i know our friends could only get it recognized by the catholic church if a priest was in attendance at the ceremony in the other church, which wasn't true for us. talk to your priest (or a more liberal counterpart) to see what your options are.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

This may also depend on the Disoce (sp) you are in. I have some catholic friends who wanted to get blessed where they lived in Colorado Springs. The archbishop down there is VERY strict and said they had to raise their children in the church. They came up to Denver and this diocese was a lot more willing to work with them without signing anything. Just something to consider.

 

[October2008bride]

Date: 1/28/2008 3:07:34 PM
Author: Delster
It''s interesting the differences. What I''ve seen over here is that the Catholic party is the one asked to promise the children are raised Catholic. The non-Catholic party doesn''t have to commit to anything. The Catholic party doesn''t even have to sign anything, and it''s recognised that the promise is one to try and ensure the children are raised Catholic, but that this may not always be possible.

October2008Bride, I am so shocked at how your FI was treated. The Catholic Church here actually facilitates inter-Church marriages with the ceremony con-celebrated by officiants from both Churches. There''s info here: http://www.together.ie/mixed.htm My Uncle married in the Anglican Church and he still receives Communion.

Courtneylub, what kind of a ceremony does your FI want? Will any of the issues October2008Bride apply to you if you marry in another Church?

Obviously your best bet is to contact your priest and ask!

So were we. He was trying to do the right thing - and I would have considered getting married there but it seemed like a lot of hoops and I wasn''t comfortable signing that agreement given that FI isn''t a practicing Catholic. The church is known for being strict, but it just rides me that every church/priest seems to have a different answer. Unfortunately, our parish is filled with cathedrals that are the ''head'' of the church (whether Catholic, Anglican or United), so we didn''t have any other options.

As we walked away from our meeting at the Catholic church, FI looked depressed after years and years of Catholic education and upbringing - I think he felt very rejected or something. He then said that he knew that getting married int he Anglican church was the right thing for us and that he was comfortable bringing our kids up where we were accepted with open arms.

Not to say that is everyone''s experience - you can see right on here that many Catholic churches are more lenient and accepting. We just weren''t so lucky I guess!

In this day and age of mixed marriages and record-low numbers in churches (all denominations) I am surprised when people have such difficulty being accommodated. Just doesn''t make sense to me.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 1/28/2008 8:35:50 PM
Author: October2008bride

Date: 1/28/2008 3:07:34 PM
Author: Delster
It''s interesting the differences. What I''ve seen over here is that the Catholic party is the one asked to promise the children are raised Catholic. The non-Catholic party doesn''t have to commit to anything. The Catholic party doesn''t even have to sign anything, and it''s recognised that the promise is one to try and ensure the children are raised Catholic, but that this may not always be possible.

October2008Bride, I am so shocked at how your FI was treated. The Catholic Church here actually facilitates inter-Church marriages with the ceremony con-celebrated by officiants from both Churches. There''s info here: http://www.together.ie/mixed.htm My Uncle married in the Anglican Church and he still receives Communion.

Courtneylub, what kind of a ceremony does your FI want? Will any of the issues October2008Bride apply to you if you marry in another Church?

Obviously your best bet is to contact your priest and ask!

So were we. He was trying to do the right thing - and I would have considered getting married there but it seemed like a lot of hoops and I wasn''t comfortable signing that agreement given that FI isn''t a practicing Catholic. The church is known for being strict, but it just rides me that every church/priest seems to have a different answer. Unfortunately, our parish is filled with cathedrals that are the ''head'' of the church (whether Catholic, Anglican or United), so we didn''t have any other options.

As we walked away from our meeting at the Catholic church, FI looked depressed after years and years of Catholic education and upbringing - I think he felt very rejected or something. He then said that he knew that getting married int he Anglican church was the right thing for us and that he was comfortable bringing our kids up where we were accepted with open arms.

Not to say that is everyone''s experience - you can see right on here that many Catholic churches are more lenient and accepting. We just weren''t so lucky I guess!

In this day and age of mixed marriages and record-low numbers in churches (all denominations) I am surprised when people have such difficulty being accommodated. Just doesn''t make sense to me.

I know...it''s quite disappointing. FI doesn''t want to be associated with a church that wouldn''t recognize our marriage if we didn''t promise to do "this or that". Can''t say I blame him, but just like your FI, I will be upset after going through all the years of being brought up that way. My grandmother did point out that the church WILL honor it as a valid marriage, just not as one of the sacraments. It all seems too difficult to me and I don''t want to put stress on our marriage before it even starts, but I also won''t sit back and ignore my faith. Blah. Too bad about all the obstacles.

 

[Neveah]

That really chaps my ass! My brother and his fiance had been engaged for almost a year and planning a wedding when they found out they were pregnant. (suprise!!) They moved the wedding up so they would be married before (5 months before!) the baby got here. They went to our church (catholic) and wanted to be honest about the pregnancy (even though she wasn''t showing) THEY REFUSED TO MARRY THEM SINCE THEY HAD OBVIOUS RELATIONS BEFORE MARRIAGE! Can you believe that????
I was so upset for them. They wanted to get married in their church! I just don''t get it.... Abortion is a sin.... But two people who were already engaged want to make their commitment legal before their child gets here and they refuse to marry them???? Gave us the worst taste in our mouths..... because of that they got married Presbyterian, and so will FI and I in May.
Okay..... done with my rant. I am obviously seriously a little (can you tell??) still upset with our (former) church.
But Ive heard this and other problems (like what you''re talking about) being a problem..... One suggestion... try going to another church. Sometimes it depends on the priest.

 

[xapora]

Date: 1/28/2008 11:42:33 AM
Author:Courtneylub
I am wanting to get our marriage blessed in the Catholic church, but my fiance is weary about it. I believe he will need to sign something swearing to raise our children Catholic and that''s what he believes is the biggest problem. He feels we should raise them Christian, period. Does anyone know about this kind of contract in the church?


Xapoc, I found the thread you did on this matter. Have you had it blessed yet?


https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/blessed-by-catholic-church.57590/

No, we haven''t had it blessed. We were looking into it more for our family''s happiness than our own, so I''m not sure if we''re going to end up doing it or not. We''re not super religious so we''re totally content with the way we did the wedding, and it seems our family is okay with the way we did it also, but we may do it a little later if it''s something we feel we need to do. I never went to the church to ask about it so sadly I don''t have any information on the subject either. Good luck though!