Matching MOB & MOG

[Clover]

So, my wedding is about two months away and my fiance and I have been engaged for about 18 months. I''ve been nudging my mother to start dress shopping since last summer and she kept putting it off until about a month ago and, big surprise, she''s been having trouble finding something she likes and fits her well. My FML, on the other hand, started looking at dresses immediately but she didn''t want to buy one until my mother decided on hers because that''s supposedly the proper thing to do. FMIL found a dress this winter that she loved and it came in multiple colors but she held off on purchasing it for about two months because she doesn''t want to have the same color as my mom. I finally told her just get whatever color she wants and not wait on my mother anymore because there''s plenty of colors and the odds of my mother choosing the same color are slim. Well, my mother called me today and let me know that she finally found a dress and its BERGUNDY! She knew the color FMIL is wearing and she bought it anyhow because its too late to order another color. I live in another state, and I even offered to take down the style number and go to all of the stores down here tomorrow that carry that designer to see if they have another color, but she insisted on buying it. I personally don''t care about them having the same color, but I know FMIL''s going to be annoyed since she waited around so long for my mom to pick out something just so they wouldn''t have the same color. Did anyone else''s mothers wear the same color?

 

[SassyB]

I''m so sorry!

I can see where you and FMIL would be annoyed. However, in the grand scheme of things this is not something to be overly upset with. It might look nice! Ok, I''m trying to help you feel better

You cannot change what has been purchased (unless your mom is willing to let you help her find it in another color). Just move on and plan your wonderful day.

At least neither of them picked white/ivory!

 

[mayachel]

As long as they aren''t wearing the same style dress, I think it should look rather lovely for them to have the same color. I''ve been to weddings wear the MOB and MOG were wearing off-shoots of the same color, often tied into the wedding colors somehow. Accessories, hair etc...will make each stand out on her own.

 

[ice-queen]

I don''t know if it''s regional or what, but with most weddings I''ve been involved in, the mob and mog INTENTIONALLY wear the same (or similar) color-- usually a color complementary to the wedding colors, and is usually chosen by the mob/bride. For example, for my brother''s wedding the colors were pink and green, and both moms to wore a taupe-ish color. That way, the whole "look" is cohesive (especially looks nice in the group photos), without being overly matchy matchy.

Now, due to the fact that your fmil held out as long as possible to choose her dress color, I can see that she may be annoyed. But is it possible that she was waiting on choosing a color just to be nice and respectful, and that she was not necessarily trying to avoid/or completely opposed to picking the same color? All in all, I don''t think it''s that big of a deal, and will probably end up looking nice and put-together in the long run.

 

[Clover]

SassyB, you''re right, it won''t matter in the end and I really don''t care what color they wear. I just wish my mom would have been a little more concerned about how his mother might feel about it, but I guess that''s because I tend to be overly concerned with what people think. Oh well, I''ll just have to let them duke it out.

 

[Clover]

Ice-Queen and Mayachel, I got distracted and was really slow in writing that last response. I was just reading online and I saw that it is somewhat common in some areas for both mothers to wear the same color or same color with shade variations. I''m hoping she won''t really care; I know I wouldn''t care if I was her. It will make it look a little more uniform, although the bridesmaid gowns are like a hot pink, so I''m not sure how well they will go together.

 

[NakedFinger]

Kudos to your FMIL for knowing proper etiquette and waiting for your mom to pick out her dress. It does go that the MOB''s dress dictates what the MOG wears.

I could see your FMIL being a little peeved, but as long as your mother doesnt not care, then i wouldnt worry about it.

This reminded me of a joke my friends just sent me:

How to be a gracious b-tch:

Jennifer''s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent''s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best- dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father''s new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father''s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ''Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I''m wearing it,'' she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I''ll get another dress. After all, it''s your special day.''

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren''t you going to return the other dress? You really don''t have another occasion where you could wear it.’

Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear. I''m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.''

 

[Clover]

That is so funny.

 

[SassyB]

That joke is great! haha!!!

 

[honey22]

Don''t stress about it too much, unless the outfits are the same, I don''t think you will have a problem. Mum''s can drive you crazy some times hey?

 

[LilyKat]

I really wouldn''t worry about it. It wouldn''t even occur to me to co-ordinate the mothers'' outfits. And frankly, I went to a wedding just a few days ago and can''t for the life of me remember what MOG and MOB wore. No-one''s looking at them

Don''t stress it.

 

[KimberlyH]

If you''re worried about MIL just tell her that you''re sorry but also sure that it won''t make a difference the day of and they''ll both look wonderful. My mom wore white/cream my MIL wore beige, they both looked lovely and I''m sure no one could even tell you what they had on that day now.

 

[Gypsy]

Ours did. And no one cared. Seriously.

I just don't get the MOB MOG outfit drama. My MIL was in a twitter about the whole "wear beige and sh*t up thing" and I was like... where ON EARTH did you ever get the impression that I would expect that of you. Go out, buy WHATEVER you like and to heck with everyone else. Said the same thing to my mom. Told them I didn't care what they wore as long as they came with a smile on their faces and love in their hearts (and left me the heck alone about it all). I had no idea what they chose till the day of (sorry, had too much on my plate to care).

Ironically. My mother chose Lavender. My MIL chose a light violet top. My one Aunt wore eggplant, and the other wore violet. My colors were orange and green. And yet you'd THINK they were purple from some of the pics and it cracks me up. Half the guests wore purple too. Funniest thing.

Tell you FMIL and ANYONE else who says anything that it doesn't matter AT ALL. They are different dresses, they are different people, and... THEY ARE NOT THE BRIDE AND GROOM. Or don't tell FMIL at all. Just let her deal with it the day of. I mean seriously, you can't police what everyone wears. Someone could show up with HER EXACT dress. Again, Not the bride or groom. As long as they feel good in it, that's all that matters. You can't go around announcing on your invites that "The Mother of the Bride and The Mother of the Groom respectfully request that you do not wear burgundy, wine or another similar shade... or any of the two dresses pictured below."

Here's the pic of my "Purple" wedding. Seriously, don't even give it a second thought. In real life the colors were MUCH closer than this pic shows, BTW. The flash is reflecting off the different fabrics differently, but in real life... it was a Purple Party.