May I please ask for input on an officiant gift?

[chickflick]

We're getting married on a cruiseship in August and our officiant is- my FI's twin sister! She's an ordained Presbyterian minister and agreed to officiate our ceremony. This thrills me no end because I wanted a more religious and personal slant to the service than I would have gotten from one of the anonymous officiants provided by the cruiseline.

I would like to give her something as a token of appreciation for doing this, but since she's such close family it's a bit hard. The normal rules for officiant gifts don't seem to apply.

She's getting married herself just six weeks after us. I'm so excited for her because he's a Catholic Deacon so they've had to wait for special dispensation from the Pope. Honestly. So I'd like to get her something for just herself to make her feel special.

She loves Talbot's so would a $200 gift certificate be appropriate? A minister just starting out (she quit a great job in publishing to go to seminary) and a Deacon don't make much money so I'm sure it would be appreciated, and I thought if we gave it to her now she could go buy a special outfit to wear to her shower or something.

I would like to go higher on the amount but I don't want to go overboard since she's family and their family is much more laid back about these things than mine. Do you think $250 would be better? I don't want to embarass her by giving too much, either, since she seemed pleased that we asked her (I think she would have been disappointed if we hadn't asked!) Also, FI's parents suggested that we ask so it was already a bit in the works, I think.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to be sure you knew all of the factors involved. I would really appreciate any and all input. Also, I totally OBSESS over these things and worry about getting it right so please be honest! Thank you soooo much!!

 

[sydneycasandra]

chickflick,

While I was reading the post and was only halfway done, I was thinking that about $200 sounded reasonable, so I think you''re hitting the nail on the head with that one! One question you may want to consider though, is how much monetary output (if any) is she putting out to come on the cruise with you? Did you pay for her airfare and ticket on the ship, or did she cover those herself? If you paid her way, I think $200 is perfectly appropriate and the Talbot''s gift certificate sounds like a great idea (practical, yet shows you thought of what she would enjoy since she likes that store). If she is paying her own way on the cruise and other travel expenses (is she taking time off work too?) a slightly more generous gift would perhaps be in order since she spent a lot of money to come with you.

Your wedding sounds like an absolutely fabulous and very personal way to combine family and your religion with the ease and fun of a cruise ship wedding; congratulations!

 

[chickflick]

Thank you so much for your input. We''re actually getting married while the ship is in port in Galveston before it departs, so she''s not coming on the cruise with us. She chose not to since she''s getting married so soon after us (we set our date first, just an FYI) and she''ll need time off work for her own wedding.

We aren''t paying for her plane fare or other expenses- we''re not paying for anyone since we live in the area so it''s not really a destination wedding. She would be coming to the wedding, anyway, as Jim''s sister. I thought about us offering to pay for her airfare but since we''re not paying for Jim''s other sister we decided it isn''t appropriate, We''ll also be going to St. Louis just six weeks later to attend her wedding and absorbing that expense ourselves so I feel that we''re very even on that one.

I hope that helps and again, thank you for the input!!

 

[sydneycasandra]

chickflick,

With all that extra information in mind, I think your original idea definitely sounds perfect. I think she''ll love it!