Erin
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2004
- Messages
- 2,783
For the men per Waited2Long''s suggestion - Ladies let''s learn from these Gentlemen In Waiting
Sorry to intrude, but since there''s no "Men''s Couch" forum, and since I learn so darn much in this forum, I do read quite a few posts here, and this thread has me smiling. I''m reading about what your boyfriend did, and I''m nodding my head in agreement ("Yeah, I''d say and do that too"), and at the same time I''m hearing the harsh tones and seeing all the little red unsmiley faces. You understand we don''t do these things on purpose, right? Really. We simply don''t have a clue.
Your bf was probably trying to make an excuse about why he hasn''t proposed yet--to reassure you it has nothing to do with you (believe it or not). The way I read it, I would paraphrase what he said as, "Yeah, we would have been married by now, because I know I want to be with her forever, but I''m a guy and the thought of being married scares me". Note that the thought of "being married" is an intimidating concept in and of itself, and does not need any connection whatsoever with the "who" to make us break out into a sweat. There are milestones in a man''s life that signal his departure from youth and reckless abandon, and we don''t like the thought of losing our youth and reckless abandon, even if, in reality, we''re already couch potatoes who need to be in bed by 10. Marriage is the biggest one and, if you''re already living together, the last one for a loooong time. I think having kids is the next one (same as marriage, in many of our minds). Baldness may be the next milestone after this.
There *SHOULD* be a Men''s Couch forum here, so us dudes can have our group therapy and maybe overcome our fears. And I''m sure if there was, a lot of you would be in there looking for clues as to what makes us tick.
Sorry to intrude, but since there''s no "Men''s Couch" forum, and since I learn so darn much in this forum, I do read quite a few posts here, and this thread has me smiling. I''m reading about what your boyfriend did, and I''m nodding my head in agreement ("Yeah, I''d say and do that too"), and at the same time I''m hearing the harsh tones and seeing all the little red unsmiley faces. You understand we don''t do these things on purpose, right? Really. We simply don''t have a clue.
Your bf was probably trying to make an excuse about why he hasn''t proposed yet--to reassure you it has nothing to do with you (believe it or not). The way I read it, I would paraphrase what he said as, "Yeah, we would have been married by now, because I know I want to be with her forever, but I''m a guy and the thought of being married scares me". Note that the thought of "being married" is an intimidating concept in and of itself, and does not need any connection whatsoever with the "who" to make us break out into a sweat. There are milestones in a man''s life that signal his departure from youth and reckless abandon, and we don''t like the thought of losing our youth and reckless abandon, even if, in reality, we''re already couch potatoes who need to be in bed by 10. Marriage is the biggest one and, if you''re already living together, the last one for a loooong time. I think having kids is the next one (same as marriage, in many of our minds). Baldness may be the next milestone after this.
My gf has been waiting (I assume) for 6 1/2 years. All her friends are married or engaged. I read these threads and I feel awful for her. But to her credit she has not signaled any unhappiness, at least not to me. No getting dragged into jewelry stores, or talking about marriage/engagement, or talking about married/engaged friends. Cross your fingers for me that she says "YES!" next month .
There *SHOULD* be a Men''s Couch forum here, so us dudes can have our group therapy and maybe overcome our fears. And I''m sure if there was, a lot of you would be in there looking for clues as to what makes us tick.
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