Might Have to Cancel my Venue - Should I?

[Emeraldfan]

Ok - so I really do love the place we are supposed to have our reception at in Napa Valley but we''ve had so many problems with them. We had 4 reasons for choosing them over the winery we were going to use as our venue:

1) WHEN WE BOOKED - we could have hard alcohol which is important to a lot of our guests as they are not wine drinkers. NOW - We got their price list and after tax and gratuity one mixed drink is over $16pp. I will deal with this one if I have to but it is ridiculous to pay that much for a drink.

2) WHEN WE BOOKED - our guests could stay at the resort. It is pricey and not all of our guests could afford it but everyone is coming from out of town so it would have been a nice gathering place. NOW - alll the rooms are booked until Sat. morning due to a retreat, and we can''t even stay there ourselves except for Sat. and frankly won''t we able to enjoy the property as check-in is at 4pm on our wedding day and check-out is noon (and one night will cost over $1000 for us).

3) WHEN WE BOOKED - I have always wanted some kind of chocolate souffle or molten chocolate cake for dessert (and serve the wedding cake later). The winery wasn''t able to have this as there is no on-site kitchen to heat the souffle to the right temp. The place we booked said it wouldn''t be a problem, that they don''t have it on the menu but the chef could make it. NOW - I called to confirm our menu and the response I got was the wine cave for dinner doesn''t have a full kitchen facility, they cook in the main area and then bring the food over so they won''t do it.

THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK

4) WHEN WE BOOKED - All the pictures on there sight and that I have seen elsewhere, the wine cave was an blank canvas to do with what I wanted. I loved this as the venue is modern looking and clean lined, exactly how I wanted our wedding to be. The other venue, the winery was more classic with english gardens and statues and things - I loved it too but just didn''t really want my wedding to have that feel. So we chose this place and my colors are lime greens, pinks, and whites with a little bit of brown accent. Very modern looking centerpieces, dresses, etc. NOW - I went to a florist and saw a picture of the cave with a Bright red, green and blue oriental rug in it!!!! I called the coordinator and she told me that the area rug can''t be removed!! That it was recently put down and won''t remove it

I explained that we did not know about this carpet, that it did not go with my decor, that we chose this place because of the space and it would have certainly changed my decision to use this venue. I offered to have it professionally removed and replaced after the event, or to have it rolled up and placed in the cave area but just out of the way. They refuse and will not work with me on this at all.

I don''t know what to do. I know some of these seem silly but added all together it has generally been an unpleasant experience at this venue and when we are paying $23k for 75 guests just for the reception I think it should be exactly the way I want it. The coordinator there has been very difficult and unwelcoming as well. It makes me nervous for things to come if we do stay with them.

When I talked to her Wed. night she gave us until today to get out of the contract. I asked for a little more time so we could weigh our options and look elsewhere but she said NO

So now I''ve been scrambling around trying to find a place. We did find a nice estate rental which would make it a lot cheaper but it doesn''t have the exact feel I wanted. We can''t change the date now as people have already booked flights to come out here for the wedding and so we are limited in what''s still available. When I contacted event planners and reluctantly told them the place of our venue now, their comments were that they''ve had difficulties with the head coordinator there (the woman I''m working with), that they are generally unwelcoming and difficult to get anything the bride wants done, and they are not suprised I am having these difficulties and need to find a new place.


So - now what do I do?? It''s a time crunch to find something else before giving up our venue. I don''t really not want to have a venue and be stuck with no place but I also don''t want to have to change my whole wedding around to fit this ugly rug and deal with the coordinators attitude for the price we are paying.

 

[musey]

Wow... let me say, first off, that that really sucks.

We did find a nice estate rental which would make it a lot cheaper but it doesn't have the exact feel I wanted.

As for whether or not to cancel, it makes a BIG difference when the event is, IMO. You didn't mention your date and you're not on the BIW list so... when is the wedding? If you have about a year, you can probably find something else that is CLOSER to what you want.

You said this estate rental you found doesn't have the "exact feel you wanted," but correct me if I'm wrong, neither does your current venue! If it would be a step up, then yeah--cancel your venue and book the estate.

I'm really sorry this is happening. You should file a complaint with the BBB, or at least post some slander on every wedding board you can find. They are NOT behaving the way they should.

 

[Emeraldfan]

Musey - our wedding is in May 2008. Not a whole lot of time to find a new place up there on our exact date.

Here is a picture of what I thought our wedding would look like:

 

[Emeraldfan]

Try again.

 

[Emeraldfan]

without the rug

 

[karasue91]

Wow, when did you book the place?? That is so awful!! I think the estate sounds really nice, and I think your colors would still look nice in a venue with more of a garden feel. It just sounds like this other place is going to be so much more stress!! Who knows what else they told you that they will go back on, like all those other things? They could start going back on stuff on your wedding day!! It doesn''t sound like it''s worth the stress! I also know how it feels to have a vision in your head that is really hard to change

I would definitely speak to someone about this woman. There must be someone above her that you can complain to about her, clearly if she has such a bad reputation with all those wedding coordinators they must be aware that she is awful.

I say change venues, save yourself the stress, and talk to someone about that horrid woman!!!

 

[Emeraldfan]

With the rug

 

[karasue91]

Wow, I can see why you are so upset, that place is absolutely breathtaking!!

 

[musey]

Have you seen the rug in person? It''s difficult to tell from that picture what it would look like...

 

[Emeraldfan]

I can''t get the picture with the rug any bigger so it doesn''t really show how much a difference it makes in the wine cave. The first picture I posted is pretty much how my wedding and flowers are going to (or were supposed to look)

 

[largirl]

If they aren''t willing to work with you, then I think you have your answer. I mean, you aren''t willing to have it there WITH the rug, right? So you don''t really have any option but to go with your second choice location...

That being said, I can''t BELIEVE they''d make such drastic changes and not let you move the darn rug! That plus all the other things would cement it for me!

 

[Emeraldfan]

I haven''t seen the rug in person. I saw it in a dozen florist pictures and then the coordinator sent me more (but they are so big I can''t get them to load). We asked it we could go up tomorrow to take a look at the rug and make a final decision but she said that she needs to know by today.

I could change my color scheme to deep reds and pinks with greens but I just hate to do that as it changes the whole feel of my wedding. Is having it in the space worth it?? Should I just overlook it and try and make it work?

Here is a picture of the outside lawn where we would have our wedding at the estate we found

 

[Emeraldfan]

Another picture of the estate

 

[cara]

Would this venue, with all the changes, still be closer to what you wanted than another venue?

And could you manage to ignore their inflexibility enough to still enjoy/tolerate working with them going forward?

Do you want to keep aiming for your original aesthetic vision or are you willing to be more flexible to find a new (fabulous) venue that is easier to work with? Such as the estate or a different winery or hotel, etc.

That last question is really the key.

I personally would cancel with your current venue and move on, cause it sounds like they don't want your business and some of the changes are quite significant. But I was also a bit more flexible on the aesthetic for my wedding and didn't have a specific style in mind. And ended up getting married at an english garden-style vineyard in wine country. Not necessarily what I would have imagined going in, but it was gorgeous and the details of this place really worked for us - including the drink policy.

As for pricing in wine country, they can charge what they can charge and it is a "fair" price. Try finding a nice hotel room for $150. You can complain all you want about $16 drinks, but drink costs and policies are one of the things that should be in your venue/catering contract and will really affect the overall cost. Some places have lower site fees but make it up gouging for drinks; some places gouge for site fees AND drinks, so you really need to think ahead.

If it is any consolation, our venue (like most wineries) did not have a liquor license, but we did serve beer and malt beverages like Mike's Hard Lemonade and Smirnoff Ice and the non-wine drinkers did fine. And there was liquor at the rehearsal dinner.

 

[Emeraldfan]

Ok - I didn't really want to post the venue name but I have to tell her by today so any advice is helpful. If you go to this website and click on the 360 view you'll see the rug. You'll also see it extends the whole length of the cave and we'll have to rent a dance floor. Kinda changes the whole feel of the place doesn't it??

herecomestheguide.com/location/detail/calistoga-ranch/

 

[FireGoddess]

Your link didn't work for me...

But it sounds like I would try to find another place. As hard as that might be....when you booked, everything sounded great. The reality now...not so much.

If the things you listed are really important to you, then I'd cut these people loose.

 

[cara]

One more thing. You seem really concerned about the decoration/color scheme in the cave. At least at my venue, the wine cave for dinner was really separate from the rest of the wedding. Ceremony was outside, cocktails was outside somewhere else, dancing and cakes was in yet another location, inside but not in the cave. Many different areas during the course of the wedding.

I think it would be fine to have a separate decoration scheme for the cave, so you could still have your pinks and greens and whites everywhere else, but in the cave keep the flowers only white to not clash with the rug and let the cave look a little different. Maybe not the Martha Steward Militaristic Color Scheme plan, but kind of a go-with-the-flow decoration.

Really, the pinks and greens will look quite different out in the bright sun vs. in the wine cave anyway. It will be very difficult to maintain the same feel across such different backdrops even using the same color palette.

 

[Emeraldfan]

Firegoddess - I fixed it. It should work now. Thanks.

Cara - I agree about switching up the flowers if we were just having one part of the reception there. We are having cocktails outside for an hour or so and then moving into the wine cave for the rest of the night for dinner, dancing, etc and there is not outside area near the cave that people could go back outside to so 6 hours will be spent in the wine cave.

 

[FireGoddess]

Link still didn't work, but this link came up on the search page.

This is it?

http://www.herecomestheguide.com/location/detail/calistoga-ranch


The rug is DEFINITELY RED....it makes the space seem warmer in a different way. I can see how you'd be upset - I do like those first pictures you posted. If you changed the flower scheme, would the drinks and dessert and rooms thing still bother you a lot?

 

[cara]

Yeh... So it sounds like much of the wedding would have to be red-compatible.

We can''t prioritize for you! Your complaints are legitimate but it is still not clear to me if *you* personally would be better served going somewhere else or not. It''s fine for me to say, well I think you should cut bait and go fish somewhere else, but you will have to make compromises on that route as well at this latish-date.

So I got married at Hans Fahden next door this summer and would be happy to give you any details you are interested in. I''m sure you have been doing your research though!

 

[surfgirl]

I''d change locations. The estate sounds and looks lovely. But one thing...I think on some level, you''ve got to remember that this is a wedding, not the redecoration of the White House! If you really love the cave, change your colors. But that said, they sound like they fed you a line of BS to get you to book and I''d wonder what else will go wrong with them. I''d find a place where you can do what you want.

 

[Emeraldfan]

Firegoddess - yes that''s the link. Thanks for fixing it for me. The drinks I would just deal with as some of our guests don''t drink and will offset those that do. The chocolate cake bothers me but if I had to live with it I would. I guess its all about the total issues that we''ve been dealing with and the venue not being amenable to any of our needs and now having to go back to the florists, the linen place and the dress shops and try and make the colors all work in the space.