mini-fmil vent

[marlie]

hi all...
i''m in the middle of dress shopping (fun!!!!) and i took some family, friends and my fmil along for the experience. while i''m wearing one of the gowns and standing on the pedestal contemplating a gown, fmil says to the consultant, "does that come in other colors for the mother of the groom?" it wasn''t her day in the first place and why does she need to look like a bride in a different color? i thought it was so rude of her.

everyone was kinda shocked that she asked that. i''m IN the dress still! would you guys be annoyed by this too or am i too sensitive?

in any case, i was fuming for about 5 minutes and then decided that i wasn''t going to let her comment ruin the experience...easier said than done, but i tried.

 

[Winslet]

That's actually pretty funny. And yes, it would definitely irk me too! I get so annoyed when MOBs and MOGs feel the need to steal the bride's thunder in situations like that. I'll bet it took the consultant everything she had just to keep a straight face.

 

[brooklyngirl]

That would definitely irk me, for many reasons apart from the obvious. I guess you know who NOT to show your dress to.

 

[tlh]

OMG! That is soo funny.

I went shopping with my MIL and my own mom for dresses. It is HARD to find a MOG- MOB dress. They are all like (sorry if I offend anyone) very "golden girl" esque. The styles aren''t that awesome.. and she was probably thinking that was a nice style... and just didn''t THINK before she spoke. It is ODD, and RUDE that she couldn''t wait until it was in your dismiss pile... but I guess I''d just take it as a compliment that she liked it so much she wanted to wear it... or as a maybe subconcious way that she was saying she didn''t think it looked very bridal... but more of a white version of another gown.

Again... sorry... it is strange. But if it makes you feel any better, I was getting my Bridesmaid''s dress altered and the alterations lady kept commenting that I was wearing a RED wedding dress... and another girl (future bride) in the shop wanted to know if the dress came in white.... but the sentiments and attachment to a bridesmaid''s gown that someone else picked out for you... aren''t quite the same.

HUGS! This might be a bumpy ride!

 

[nclrgirl]

ugh.

Good for you for not letting it ruin your day though!

 

[marlie]

thanks guys! i felt better after venting it out. i''ve known my fmil for a long time and i can''t say i''m surprised by her comment but i just felt mortified for her and just plain annoyed. the consultant shot her the look of death and all of my fam and friends turned toward her in awe of the comment. of course, she didn''t notice any of it.

she also tried taking over the whole day which was getting on my nerves too. she had to pull on the dresses when they were on me and adjust the clips and move my hair around. i wanted to say "get the #$@& off me already!" but i just smiled and tried to zen myself out. i thought my mom was going to hit her or scream a couple of times. i guess, in a way, it was kind of entertaining.

fmil loooooves being center of attention and it was killing her that the day wasn''t about her.

oy.

 

[junebug17]

How odd to make a comment like that, I don't blame you for being annoyed! It's almost as if she was jealous of the attention you were getting, and had to steal your thunder a bit. At the very least, she should have waited until you decided against the dress!! But you handled it very well, just ignored it and continued on. Sometimes it's all you can do! Did you find any dresses you liked?

ETA: I just read your other post, she certainly does seem to be attention-hungry, but again, you handled yourself very well!

 

[LilyKat]

Um, can anyone say Oedipal complex?

Honestly, I would have found it too funny to be offended. Poor woman.

 

[tlh]

Date: 8/24/2009 5:20:20 PM
Author: marlie
thanks guys! i felt better after venting it out. i''ve known my fmil for a long time and i can''t say i''m surprised by her comment but i just felt mortified for her and just plain annoyed. the consultant shot her the look of death and all of my fam and friends turned toward her in awe of the comment. of course, she didn''t notice any of it.

she also tried taking over the whole day which was getting on my nerves too. she had to pull on the dresses when they were on me and adjust the clips and move my hair around. i wanted to say ''get the #$@& off me already!'' but i just smiled and tried to zen myself out. i thought my mom was going to hit her or scream a couple of times. i guess, in a way, it was kind of entertaining.

fmil loooooves being center of attention and it was killing her that the day wasn''t about her.

oy.

weird... does she have daughters of her own? That is just very odd. A very motherly thing to do... kinda like she was stepping on YOUR mothers toes, and not just yours. Cuz seeing baby girl try on a wedding dress is probably an experience your mother thought about when you were just a little girl playing dress up.

 

[cocolaw]

ok you know what i love about her comment, it was VERY OBVIOUSLY HEINOUS!!!!! it wasn''t an underhanded MIL comment that only you would understand....everyone there with out got how bad it was. nobody will let her wear it and she embarrassed herself in front of everyone there. walk away laughing.

 

[cocolaw]

^with *you* not with *out*

 

[iheartscience]

Hahaha wow-that is mind-blowing! And a fantastic reason to not invite her to anymore wedding dress outings! Good for you for not letting her ruin your day.

P.S. What did the saleswoman say? If I were her I would have made sure to tell your FMIL that a bridal style dress is not at all appropriate for the Mother of the Groom!

 

[meresal]

Yes, it would "irk" me.

 

[swimmer]

Date: 8/24/2009 6:39:20 PM
Author: thing2of2
Hahaha wow-that is mind-blowing! And a fantastic reason to not invite her to anymore wedding dress outings! Good for you for not letting her ruin your day.


P.S. What did the saleswoman say? If I were her I would have made sure to tell your FMIL that a bridal style dress is not at all appropriate for the Mother of the Groom!

Ditto! to both!

 

[charbie]

sounds like a bit of a wack job to me. i''d be more than pissed if she thought she was going to wear something remotely "bridal." in my friend''s wedding, the MOG told her about her dress which sounded oddly familiar...it was the bridesmaids dresses that she had helped pick out. luckily, she returned it.

 

[princessplease]

I''d be rather annoyed. Then, I''d pick some really ugly dress for her to try on, saying I loved it.

Nah, not really.
Seriously, I''d be just like you. Annoyed, but not letting it get to me. If you really want, though, you can send her some suggestions of what styles you think would work for her for the wedding. That way, she''s not coming in a black tie gown if you''re having an outdoor wedding.

 

[marlie]

thanks everyone for making me feel like i''m not crazy for being annoyed. she can be a rude woman sometimes...although i should say that we do get along and she means well 90% of the time..but that other 10% is bad!

the consultant shot her a serious look and kind of just brought the focus back to it being a bridal gown and asked what she thought of me in it which was a great way to handle it. the rest of my family /friends just kind of looked at me sympathetically and watched the smoke come out of my ears. i''m glad their was an audience for her stupid comment though so that everyone could feel the full scope of just how rude it was!

i''m trying to forget about it and ignore the stupidity of saying something like that but sometimes when i think about how she acted that day..

i can''t help but get mad all over again.

anyway, thanks to all for validating my feelings!!!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/24/2009 6:07:26 PM
Author: tlh
weird... does she have daughters of her own? That is just very odd. A very motherly thing to do... kinda like she was stepping on YOUR mothers toes, and not just yours. Cuz seeing baby girl try on a wedding dress is probably an experience your mother thought about when you were just a little girl playing dress up.

I''d say more like an envious, bitter & twisted thing to do

Anyway, good luck with the rest of the wedding plans and FMIL

 

[NYCsparkle]

i hope the next time you go dress shopping she won''t be invited...

 

[rhbgirl24]

OMG! Some people just need to make it all about them! lol