Minor Freak-Out Last NIght

[ladypirate]

So I kind of had a bit of a break-down last night. K is looking for a job down here at the moment but (since it's LA) he's waiting to hear back from some people with connections. It's getting frustrating because it feels kind of like a "hurry up and wait" mentality. He's ready to pack up and move down here, but he needs the job first, and it seems like all these people are just dragging their feet.

Part of the problem is that I'm dealing with a fair amount of stress right now (just started a difficult new job last month, seriously injured the tendons in my right hand in July, necessitating surgery and ongoing hand therapy for the next few months to get use of my hand back) and not being able to see him during the week, then driving 300 miles every other weekend to see him (we alternate) is not helping.

The other thing we talked about is the fact that we don't want to rush in to moving in together and so we're probably going to wait until he's been down here at least a few months and we are actually able to see each other every day to make sure that it's the right choice right now. While I think it's probably a good idea to live seperately in the same city for a while prior to sharing a home, the fact that he still doesn't seem any closer to getting down here now than he did when we first started talking about it a few months ago is frustrating, because it feels like everything is just getting pushed back further and further. I know we have the rest of our lives together...I have no doubt of that, but I want that rest of our lives to be spent in the same city--starting now, not later.

I know K is as committed to this as I am, and he's said that if I really want him to, he'll try to find a job he doesn't really care about down here just so that he can get down sooner, but I want him to have a job he loves. It's just not easy on either of us.

Thanks for listening to me vent--it's always obvious when I'm upset because my sentences get longer and longer, and less and less coherent.

EDIT: Just realized I accidentally mis-capitalized in the subject line...sorry, but apparently PS won't let me fix it.

 

[bee*]

Sorry that things aren''t going the way you want at the moment. It will be worth it though when your bf moves nearer to you and you can see him more often. I think its also a good idea to live separately for a while when he first moves down. Hopefully he''ll hear back from a job soon.

 

[ladypirate]

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I know it''s a good idea to wait...right now I guess the problem is that we''re both so sick of only seeing each other two days out of the week that it''s tempting to jump right into cohabitation. Just getting him down here is enough for me, though.