Modest ring now, or "the" ring later?

[musey]

I just have a hypothetical question for you ladies in waiting...

Say your bf decided that, yes, he does want to marry you... and he''s ready to be engaged now. But doesn''t feel he can afford "the" perfect ring for at least a year. Would you rather have a more modest engagement ring in order to get engaged now, or wait a year or more so that your engagement ring can be the one you''ve always wanted (whether that means size, setting, whatever)?

 

[robbie3982]

Definitely the engagement over the perfect ring. You can always upgrade the ring later if you want to when you have more money (just make sure he gets it from somewhere that does this) and I was way too impatient about waiting as long as I did (which really wasn''t that long at all).

 

[ephemery1]

I would agree with Robbie... the fun thing about some of these online places is you don''t have to choose! You can buy what you can afford, now... and then trade it in for an upgrade anytime you want.

That said, when we first started engagement talks, my fiance was saving for a ring... and even though it seemed like agony waiting for him to save (he didn''t want my contributions from me at that point), I think in some ways that "saving time" can be mental preparation for a guy. So he might not be thrilled about cutting that short to get anythng less than what he deems "the" ring. Ya know?

 

[Fancy605]

I''m a little different. I think I''d be willing to wait for THE ring, but I am sentimental about these things.

Of course, then again, I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. If I were not dead set on when I wanted to get married, I''d be willing to wait longer to get engaged. Like if I were willing to wait til 2008 to be married, I would not mind waiting extra time for THE ring. But if I wanted to get married SOON, I would def. prefer to get the modest ring just so I could start making official plans.

 

[anchor31]

Well, I waited 6 and a half months because he wanted to save up for it. He wanted the "do it right" and he''s a no upgrade sort of guy (frankly, I''m the same...). I was okay with it, and touched that he was willing to put so much effort into it (overtime, research, shopping and such). This sort of thing is rarely done here and spending more than 500$ is unheard of, so I was thrilled! As long as the proposal was in 2006 as he''d promised, it was fine.

So, it all depends on both of you, I guess. What you want, what''s important to you, how you want to do it, how you feel about it.

 

[jcrow]

how bout getting a sparly wedding band and get engaged now? then get the dream e-ring for the wedding. yes it''s the opposite of norm, but if you think about it, lots of brides take a year to plan their wedding. the timeline would be right for the e-ring, right?

i know it''s not an option listed, but it''s a thought.

 

[blueroses]

Well, I just said yes to a sharpie pen, so I think I can safely say ANY temp. ring and the proposal FIRST is GREAT!!!!

 

[diamondfan]

I would do it because it is the man and not the ring that matters. Of course, I am on my third ring, so I certainly wanted what I wanted but took what he could give at the time...

 

[goldenstar]

i would rather wait for my dream ring. i''m not opposed to upgrading, but i think its sweet to have had the same ring for years and years. although i think it would be a different story if i were in a rush to get married, which im not.

 

[kcoursolle]

I''m not sentimental, so I say both! You can get engaged now from a place that does 100% trade ins and then upgrade it for your first anniversary.

 

[bee*]

I would wait for my dream ring as I wouldnt want to get an upgrade but we could get engaged earlier without having a ring.

 

[Larissa]

I asked a similar question a couple of months ago and it lead to a pretty interesting conversation.

I think, at this moment, I''d pick "the" ring later. But I wasn''t in a rush to get married and have been. Unlike a lot of people on these boards, I would have been more than happy to partner with someone forever and not ever get married.

 

[4bugzinarug]

It depends on the situation. My sister was making wedding plans without actually having a proposal or the engagement ring because they both knew they were getting married, but he wanted to save up for the "perfect" ring. Things started to get to her, and I suggested that they buy the best possible stone they could afford and put it in a very simple white gold solitaire setting. Then, on their wedding day or one year anniversary, she could transfer that stone into the setting of her dreams.

They both loved that idea, and we helped her husband pick a stone (thank you Pete!!). Her husband was able to purchase the new setting in time for the wedding, and everything worked out for the best!

She is sentimental, but also practical ... this would not necessarily work for everyone

Edited to add: Originally, they were very discouraged when ring shopping at malls/stores, etc. They knew with their budget, they could afford a jewelry store ring with 1/4 c to 1/3 center stone. My sister wanted an elaborate setting with many small diamonds, her fiance wanted a good quality center stone as large as possible. In the end, they were able to get an ideal cut .50 carat D/VS2 princess in a thin white gold setting from Quest at close to 1/2 what Jared would charge for the same thing! That took their original engagement ring budget, and with that ring happily on her finger, he was able to start saving for the Legacy inspired setting she wanted from Jared (I tried to talk them out of Jared, but it just didn't work! LOL!). It worked for them because they weren't planning on spending many thousands on the diamond itself.

 

[musey]

Date: 10/22/2006 11:40:10 AM
Author: 4bugzinarug
It depends on the situation. My sister was making wedding plans without actually having a proposal or the engagement ring because they both knew they were getting married, but he wanted to save up for the ''perfect'' ring. Things started to get to her, and I suggested that they buy the best possible stone they could afford and put it in a very simple white gold solitaire setting. Then, on their wedding day or one year anniversary, she could transfer that stone into the setting of her dreams.

So sweet! We have actually decided to do something very similar... We''re going to get the setting I want with a "placeholder" colored gemstone, while we save for the center diamond that we both know we want (~1.4 cts or so). We won''t be getting married for about 2 years (we''re both only 22) or so, so that gives us lots of time to set money aside for the diamond. Who knows, maybe in that period of time I''ll fall in love with my aquamarine e-ring and we can use the money on our honeymoon, instead

 

[february2003bride]

small (or medium) ring now- larger ring later!

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 10/19/2006 7:49:03 PM
Author: jcrow
how bout getting a sparly wedding band and get engaged now? then get the dream e-ring for the wedding. yes it''s the opposite of norm, but if you think about it, lots of brides take a year to plan their wedding. the timeline would be right for the e-ring, right?

i know it''s not an option listed, but it''s a thought.

That was my first thought...get the wedding band and wear it as an ering first, then get your ering and save the ''proposal'' ring for your wedding band. That way the sentimental value is there, and you''ve got your wedding band!!

 

[let-me-see]

Love now, bigger ring later. As long as he''s aware...you WILL be getting that bigger ring one way or another.