moh call off friendship

[kit0110]

I pissed off the moh by consulting her about the planning process. One of the things I asked her was does she want to do her own makeup on the day of the wedding or ask the makeup artist to use the moh''s makeup. The moh in highschool had very sensitivie skin and currently can only use few types of makeup. The MOH was upset that I didn''t ask the makeup artist what kind of makeup she uses BEFORE asking her the question of who she prefers to do her makeup.

I also upset her by telling the planning process instead of telling her the end result. So she said she can''t handle it anymore and doesn''t want to be friends.

For anyone else that is going through something similar. Here''s a link that I found that is funny and tearful.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/

 

[ammayernyc]

I think your moh needs to calm down a little. Unless there is much more to the story, the things you''ve mentioned shouldn''t cause anyone to be upset, let alone upset enough to call off a friendship.

 

[Kaleigh]

I agree that is no real reason to call of the friendship. Is there anything else going on that would cause her to act this way??

 

[diamondlil]

Geez Louise, if this sort of little stuff is too much for your MOH to handle, I''d hate to see her in a real crisis. Maybe you need to pick someone who is going to be of some HELP TO YOU, the bride!!! Maybe I''m old fashioned, but isn''t that what a MOH does?

 

[kit0110]

I''m serious. She''s pissed off. We were high school friends and visited each other once a year after high school. We call each other once every 2 weeks. It has been 10 years,

The wedding is five months away and the only thing left to plan is the wedding band. She said that everyone expects her to do the wedding and I should tell everyone that she is not responsible. I don''t know who is going up to her and telling her that is her role to plan for the wedding. She doesn''t even live in the same state as me. I don''t even know her friends. I told her she is not responsible for the wedding planning unless it has to do with her makeup, dress, and attire. I asked her a lot of questions of what she would like to wear for her dress, what to do for her makeup and hair. I even told her the color for the wedding and she can pick out any dress for the wedding.

When I asked her to be the MOH (two months ago), I told her the only responsibilty is the bachelorette party. I told her it would probably be in NY since it''ll be a small group. I recently asked her if we changed it to Chicago, where I am, would that be a problem? It was a genuine question, but she said that it wasn''t a question. Last year we went to a bachelorette party in another California. I changed the requirement to be the MOH on her. She doesn''t want to talk to the Chicago friends on planning and she doesn''t want to leave NY. She doesn''t want to pay for the expenses of a bachelorrette party. I should have thought about the costs on her and NOT EVEN consider asking the question. I said I did consider her expenses and is paying for her hotel costs for the wedding, and she said that is what she expected- and I should do that.

 

[elepri]

Kit, I''m sorry, it sounds like she just didn''t want to be in the wedding. You''re saying it''s been a while since you were reallly close, perhaps she felt that it was too much for her to have such a big role in your wedding planning. Better know now that a week before the wedding. Your current close friends would probably do a better job anyway.

 

[Mara]

People get SO WEIRD about weddings!!

She sounds like a pain in the ass drama queen...a stress you don't need right now at all. I'm sure you don't want to lose her friendship so can you just ask someone else to take her place? Let her do what she wants...unfortunately you can't fix her problems which sound bigger than just your wedding.

At my wedding in Hawaii, I had a maid and matron of honor...the Maid was upset that the Matron was not helping out enough, and I had to ask another friend at the wedding to help out and this other friend was bitter because she had been sick for the first 2 days of the vacation and stuck in her hotel room the whole time...so she didn't feel like she got a good 'vacation' out of it since I asked her to help me since the Matron wasn't. I knew the Matron was kind of MIA with her hubby, but couldn't force her to do anything anyhow! Of course no one told me what they *really* thought of this til LATER so I couldn't remedy any of it at the time nor would I really have wanted to deal since I was swamped trying to make sure everyone was having a good time...but I swear, weddings make people go nutty!

Just take a deep breath and stay calm, after the wedding I'm sure things will even out...but I wish someone could explain why weddings are so stressful for everyone?! In the past when I was a maid I did whatever the bride wanted or else I was afraid she'd wig out! hehe.

 

[kit0110]

thanks for all the responses. I don''t know what is going on with her. She told me that she does not want to be invited to the wedding and do not want to keep in contact. I have apologized for hurting her feelings and asked her to see that I do not mean to cause her harm. She said she cannot see my side and do not want any more contact with me.

 

[Shay]

She sounds selfish and self absorbed. Instead of trying to make your day extra special she is trying to ruin it. I would give in to her wishes and not contact her. Choose a new MOH who is interested in the wedding and have a fabulous day.

Good Luck

 

[KBerly]

It sounds like she was looking for any excuse not to be in your wedding or not to have anything to do with the wedding. I''d tell her to get a life and a grip, and not apologize to her anymore. What does your fiance say about the situation? I''d rather plan the bachelorette party myself with the other BMs and your true freinds, than have a whiny, party pooper like that involved anyway.

 

[moremoremore]

Tell her to grow up and get a grip. Problem solved? LOL... She sounds like a psycho, actually.
But BTW, I wouldn''t want to pay the expenses of the bach. party by myself either. I hope everyone else is helping her out with that?