MOH speech when you dislike the groom

[jen2M]

I am starting to write my speech for my cousin (and best friend''s) wedding and I really dislike the groom. He is not a wonderful person and this wedding was very close to being called off. Now that it is back on, I want to write a meaningful speech for my cousin but I am having a hard time coming up with or saying anything nice about the groom. I love giving speeches and I pride myself on coming up with something creative and different and heartfelt. Everything I keep writing just sounds so generic. Has anyone been in this situation or does anyone have any advice?

Thanks!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Maybe just focus on her for the most part and then end it with I hope you make each other as happy as you''ve made me?

 

[Prana]

Maybe a generic speech is the best thing in this situation? Or maybe you could keep the focus on the brides happiness and wish them well as a couple, and maybe the best man will have something nice to say about the groom.

 

[LilyKat]

Put the focus of the speech on the bride. I've just been to a lovely wedding where the best man (who had known the groom all his life - he was his cousin) recounted a load of hilarious stories about him when he was growing up. It was done affectionately and everyone thought it was great. He finished by congratulating the groom and wishing him happiness in the future. He barely mentioned the bride at all, although I know that they get on really well.

So don't force yourself to say things that don't feel true. Just think of nice things you can honestly say, and if that means making 99% of your speech about the bride and what a fantastic person she is and what great times you've shared, that's fine.

 

[tyty333]

Do you have to do a speech? In a lot of the weddings I''ve been to only the best man gives a speech.

If you feel like you have to then staying generic may be the only way to go. Maybe you can throw
some comments in on how a husband and wife treat each other (or what they should expect from
the other - generically).

 

[Bia]

Focus on the reasons you love her, why she deserves all the happiness in the world, and then slip his name somewhere in there. You don''t have to say he''s perfect for her, just that she''s in love and happy.

 

[doodle]

Agreed with everyone else. Talk about her and let the best man worry about hyping up the groom. Focus on wishing them a happy future--you can hate his guts but still love her enough to want her to have a happy future, right? My favorite wedding speech ever, my friend''s little sister/MOH gave the groom a list of survival tips for being married to her sister. The list included silly girl stuff that my friend had always gotten mad at her sister for, so she told him to always launder her clothes before he returned them to her, to never borrow her mascara EVER, and to love with all he had because she knew her sister would. It was really cute, and it was hilarious that she was telling the groom not to borrow his wife''s mascara.

 

[Gypsy]

Just talk about you and her, and how this is a special day for her... how touched you are to support her on this day. How she deserves happiness and joy and love.... and that you'll always be there for her. Then toast her and slip his name in there somewhere.

ETA: Love the survial tips idea. And wish them both the best in their married lives.

 

[gwendolyn]

Just to offer a bit of reassurance--I was the MOH for someone who insisted I a) be her MOH and b) give a speech. I'm actually better friends with her husband than I was/am to her (we had a major falling out a couple years before the wedding), and struggled to find things to say that were both kind and true. So, I talked mostly about her husband. 90% of my speech was about him, not her, and no one cared, even though I was the MOH--they laughed and got mushy at the appropriate parts, and I was honest! Win-win. So, don't worry if you don't mention the husband that much; it's unlikely anyone will notice.

 

[tlh]

Date: 6/30/2009 4:41:10 PM
Author: LilyKat
Put the focus of the speech on the bride. I''ve just been to a lovely wedding where the best man (who had known the groom all his life - he was his cousin) recounted a load of hilarious stories about him when he was growing up. It was done affectionately and everyone thought it was great. He finished by congratulating the groom and wishing him happiness in the future. He barely mentioned the bride at all, although I know that they get on really well.

So don''t force yourself to say things that don''t feel true. Just think of nice things you can honestly say, and if that means making 99% of your speech about the bride and what a fantastic person she is and what great times you''ve shared, that''s fine.

I''ve seen this done a lot, actually... and it is never off putting at all. Just say what you feel from the heart, because many people that are there, don''t know the bride, and may never get to know her... so sometimes warm and endearing stories of yesteryear... are really nice and touching... good luck.

 

[sparklyheart]

Date: 6/30/2009 9:37:57 PM
Author: Bia
Focus on the reasons you love her, why she deserves all the happiness in the world, and then slip his name somewhere in there. You don''t have to say he''s perfect for her, just that she''s in love and happy.

I was just in a wedding where the whole groom''s side hated the bride and the bride''s side hated the groom..(ahhh wedding drama!) The MOH did exactly what Bia suggested. She shared funny stories about the bride and how great she is. She mentioned one vague thing about the groom. The groom''s brother made a speech about how the bride was perfect and he knew she was the one the day he met her and we all almost threw up because we could tell he was faking it and copied it off the internet most likely. Just make it genuine towards the bride and don''t say anything about the groom that you don''t *truly* believe.. Although, make sure you don''t say what you DO *truly* believe about him!! Something like "Crappygroom makes Lovelybride so happy" works everytime!

 

[cocolaw]

you can always make the "he doesn''t deserve her" jokes....

i can''t imagine that going over too well when you really feel that way though!! all of the other advice is great!

 

[jen2M]

Thanks ladies! You have really given me some great ideas!