Moving in together transition?

[Callisto]

FF and I just moved in together after being long distance for 3 years. I was really excited for it and now after about 2 months of living together the transition has been more stressful than I had thought. No major fights really, things just seem tense and I''m not totally sure why. I''m guessing a lot of it is just the stress of changing so many things at once, I got a new job, we moved into a new house, our daily rhythms now include a second person... etc. None of my friends are really at this point in their relationships so I''m not sure who to talk to about it (damn me for always being the first of my friends to do everything haha). I love him more than anything and I really do love being able to spend more time with him than ever before, its just a big change. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced any of this when they moved in with their BF or husband.

 

[katomm]

It''s totally normal to be stressed while in transition. BF and I moved in together just this past March and the first few weeks were a bit stressful. It didn''t help he had lived with someone else just a year earlier. We talked about it and went over the household chores, our expectations, finances, etc. It didn''t take long to get adjusted. But you have other issues like your new job so there are more changes. Just give it some time.

It might help to have date night at home maybe once a week to really connect yourselves to the space you now share. Maybe a picnic in the living room or a candle lit late night snack

 

[QueenB29]

I think it took DH and I 2-3 months to really become comfortable living together. Especially since he had just moved out of his mother''s (

) and I hadn''t lived with anyone since freshmen year of college. When you start living with someone, you see all the boring, weird, gross (?), annoying things you both do that you were able to keep hidden until then. Just talk about it. He''s probably feeling the same way.

 

[Erinleigh]

Hey Callisto,
I think this is totally normal for most couples! FF and I went through it, and as others have mentioned, it probably took a couple months before we got into the swing of things. But we''ve been living together for over 2 and a half years now, and moving in together was the best step we ever could have took! I can''t imagine living without him! I''m sure the longer you guys live together, the more comfortable it will be

 

[aveda6]

Hello, I can empathize. My fiance and I just moved in together two weeks ago. We are still adjusting and haven''t even finished all of the unpacking yet. In our case I''ve been married previously but this is the first time she has lived with someone other than a college roommate. It will take a while before we work out all of the details and get used to being around each other so much. It seems like a normal process so i wouldn''t worry too much. If it really bothers you or worries you definitely talk about it. From a male perspective I would rather talk through things than find out that something''s been wrong that I wasn''t aware of. he may be just getting used to everything and may not be bothered at all...

 

[bobbin]

SO and I have lived together for almost 3 years.

When we first started living together, I moved in with him and his housemates. It wasn''t a stressful transition as I had been practically living there for a year anyway.

Just over a year later, we moved into a unit by ourselves. The first few months were really tough, we were tense, we had more arguments than usual etc. But then things settled down.

UNTIL... we decided to buy a house five months later. We moved in and went through the whole stressful time yet again. Moving twice in one year was extra stressful though.

The point of this is that I think any kind of major change in your circumstances can be a stressful time. As you are both stressed, things can get a bit tense. Just try and keep it in perspective and help each other through it. We didn''t do that very well when we moved the second time and it took us just under a year to get back on track. But things are great now

So don''t worry about it too much, it is normal.

 

[CristinaRuns26.2]

Patience, and a lot of wine

Moving in together isn't easy. It does require a transition period while you both become used to having each other around 24/7 and become used to each others' habits that you may have not noticed while dating and not living together (He clips his toenails while watching TV? What?! The garbage needs to be put by the curb, whose turn is it, all those types of things).

Give it a while, and you two will soon develop a routine that's comfortable for the both of you. It also helps to have "Me Time". Every couple of weeks I'll head out to Happy Hour after work with girlfriends, or go for a bike ride after work, when I usually work out in the mornings. Sometimes, BF and I are in separate rooms in the same house. He's playing XBOX in the living room, while I'm reading and having a glass of wine in the bedroom.

Good luck! Things will settle down after the adjustment period.

 

[Callisto]

Thanks guys, I just needed a little reassurance. Sometimes its the most amazing thing living with him and other times its just weird. I know its what I want I just needed to hear that I wasn''t crazy for feeling so stressed about it.

Oh, CristinaRuns26.2... he cut his toenails on the bed the other night... Claiming he was picking them all up... but STILL!!! 99.9% of the time he''s the perfect boyfriend and roommate and then he''ll pull something like that haha I just laugh at his ridiculousness. He sure keeps things interesting.