My first post as a BWW...and some questions!

[laughwithme]

I was a LIW for, jeez, too many months! I am very excited to say that I got engaged on May 1 to the love of my entire life.

Planning is well under way. I actually knew the church/photog long ago, and was very settled on a country club for the reception. There is a 99% chance we will book all three so I am proud to say that the "pre-planning" is going to pay off!

Three things -

(1) I have had a "gut feeling" that our country club (I will call it DC) is the ONE since, well, I found it. Even before seeing it. It''s very "us," its within budget, its got a beautiful patio, amazing food, amazing staff, everything. We''ve seen several other venues so far and will see two more this weekend, but like I said, I''m confident we will book DC. That said...I am just so nervous to commit, you know?? Nervous to give them my $800 deposit and know that there is no turning back! Is this normal? I have learned a great skill as I''ve grown older and that is the importance of making LOGICAL not EMOTIONAL decisions - this place is the best of both, so I am thinking that my nervousness is just...normal! Can anyone help reassure me?

(2) We are unsure between June 19 and June 26th (2010.) We live in KS so weather gets REAL hot in July, though it very well could be super warm in June. Never know! I sort of want June 19 because it feels more "mid-June" but my fiance (AHH!!) wants June 26 because the following weekend when we will finish honeymooning is July 4th weekend, meaning we could save a few vaca days from work since they will be holiday days. Could we potentially lose guests being that close to July 4? Think there will be any real difference in weather? Any other considerations I''m not thinking of?

(3) My best friend is taking me dress shopping in two weekends - what should I wear in terms of undies/bra?

Thanks everyone!!!

 

[bee*]

Congratulations on your engagement!
I only went to see one venue because I had seen it on the website and fell in love with it. I tend to be very happy with my decisions once I make them so I''ve never looked back on picking the first venue that I saw. From what you''ve described, the place sounds brilliant especially as it''s within budget as well which is always great when planning a wedding.
For the dates, I don''t think that would be too close to July 4th so I doubt you''d lose too many guests for that reason. If you''re sending out STD''s, then do it early so people will have advance notice.
For underwear, I wore big knickers (a la bridget jones!) and just a normal bra. Luckily I did as the woman stayed in the room with me the whole time so I''m glad I was adequately covered. Dress shopping is great fun so enjoy it!

 

[katamari]

Welcome, laughwithme!

Did you end up getting that setting? If so, we are setting twins!

To answer your questions:

1) There will always be something better. Everytime I see someone post wedding pics or flip through a bridal magazine, I start having grandiose dreams of what could have been. Does this mean I love anything I have planned any less? Not at all. There is a reason you feel in love with this location and planning, I believe, will only strengthen that. If venue is not the most important thing to you, consider all the things that would be. Could they happen in that venue? If so, book it (and don''t look back)!

2) I would side with your FI because it is a more logical than emotional argument. I don''t think it being close to the 4th will matter. The people who can come will, regardless of the time.

3) How modest are you? I am crazy modest and dress shopping was terrible for me. I wore a bustier, bike shorts, and a tank top most of the time. You will get the best idea of fit if you wear the undergarments that you are most likely to wear for your wedding. But, for the first trip, this is far less important.

We expect a full report, of course!

 

[laughwithme]

Katamari - I actually didn''t get that exact setting, though it is a princess solitaire with a tapered setting. He went above and beyond and did something custom, and the diamond is in a kite setting. Here is a link with some pics, and there are more pics if you scroll to the bottom of the first page.

I think the whole "book it and don''t look back" is some really good advice. I will just need to tell myself that no matter what I book, there is always something "bigger and better" - but its no use dwelling on that!

I am not too modest

I am really not worried about any dress ladies seeing anything...I was just curious more from the standpoint of, what will give me the best indication of the way the dress will lay against my body, etc - I''ve heard that some women wear seamless panties and that sort of thing (but I don''t have any of those!)

Thanks for your thoughts/advice! I am so excited to be a part of this board now!LINK

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 5/14/2009 12:52:05 PM
Author: laughwithme
I am not too modest

I am really not worried about any dress ladies seeing anything...I was just curious more from the standpoint of, what will give me the best indication of the way the dress will lay against my body, etc - I've heard that some women wear seamless panties and that sort of thing (but I don't have any of those!

I think you can wear normal underpants and won't see them under the majority of dresses, as a lot of dress material is either quite thick or layered. My SA stayed in the room with me as well and I would have preferred a bit more coverage than I chose that day. My dress shop gave me a bustier to wear on top.

 

[brendaman]

Date: 5/13/2009 9:06:15 PM
Author:laughwithme

(1) I have had a ''gut feeling'' that our country club (I will call it DC) is the ONE since, well, I found it. Even before seeing it. It''s very ''us,'' its within budget, its got a beautiful patio, amazing food, amazing staff, everything. We''ve seen several other venues so far and will see two more this weekend, but like I said, I''m confident we will book DC. That said...I am just so nervous to commit, you know?? Nervous to give them my $800 deposit and know that there is no turning back! Is this normal? I have learned a great skill as I''ve grown older and that is the importance of making LOGICAL not EMOTIONAL decisions - this place is the best of both, so I am thinking that my nervousness is just...normal! Can anyone help reassure me?

(2) We are unsure between June 19 and June 26th (2010.) We live in KS so weather gets REAL hot in July, though it very well could be super warm in June. Never know! I sort of want June 19 because it feels more ''mid-June'' but my fiance (AHH!!) wants June 26 because the following weekend when we will finish honeymooning is July 4th weekend, meaning we could save a few vaca days from work since they will be holiday days. Could we potentially lose guests being that close to July 4? Think there will be any real difference in weather? Any other considerations I''m not thinking of?

(3) My best friend is taking me dress shopping in two weekends - what should I wear in terms of undies/bra?

Thanks everyone!!!

(1) Whatever normal is, your reaction/feelings are justified, but it is different for some. We increased our budget by about $5K+ in order for us to book our dream venue. Even if we selected the more economical alternative (which just had too long a list of disadvantages/compromises to have been our venue), I would be feeling the hesitation to plunk down the money. We are in the midst of negotiating the contract with the venue, and we keep asking ourselves if we are making the best decision as we have not yet put a deposit on anything. It will hurt to part with this much money (and it''s only the deposit!), but I know I''ll be happy to have secured the venue. Ask yourself how you would feel if you were to lose the venue?

BTW, IMHO, a wedding is an emotional decision/event. It''s difficult to approach it with a practical mind, unless you are not at all involved in the wedding. I''m a very practical minded person, never wanted a big princessy wedding, and never dreamt of it as a child. All of a sudden, I''m watching wedding shows non-stop. I try to fight the emotional side and try to make and look at the wedding from a practical point of view, but some parts of it are just too emotional (e.g. how can you pick yoru wedding music practically?). Be practical, but in order to enjoy the wedding planning, let go of your practical side sometimes. I''m sure it''s possible to do and still stay within your budget.

(2) Your wedding date will not suit everyone on your list. As long as the dates are doable for the wedding party and close family and friends, you''re doing well. The weekend before July 4th would perhaps be better as flights and hotels will presumably be less (than a holiday weekend), and there may be some who will use the opportunity to take the entire week off. As long as you give everyone notice to be able to book flights and hotels as late June would still be a high volume business for hotels, airlines, etc. Did you check if your wedding is competing with any other event in your area? That''s another consideration. If there is a big convention going on or festival, then your guests may be challenged in finding a reasonnably priced accommodation.

(3) I''m going shopping next weekend with my sister and am wearing a strapless bustier I bought some years back at Nordstrom for my sister''s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid. It''s one of these bustier which goes all the way down to mid-hip level and cinches you slightly and presents a smooth line. Many areas have lingerie shops which cater to brides and maybe even the bridal shop sells them or knows where you can buy them. And you should try them on. I once bought one online and when I showed it to my sister, she said, "No, we need to get you one which fits". Nordstrom was great at this and helped me select the best one.

Good luck!