My first true wedding planning disappointment

[sunnygirl]

So I posted this in my other thread but I was SO disappointed that I wanted to vent here...

Basically the guitarist I wanted to play Spanish guitar during my cocktail hour just pulled one on me. We had been emailing for several weeks. I knew for sure that I wanted him to play at the cocktail hour but I wasnt a hundred percent sure about the ceremony. He was available on my day and I was very excited. So he was going to send me the contract for the cocktail hour with the amount for deposit and then some time went by and I got busy with work and sort of forgot about it. I emailed him back twice and FINALLY he emailed me back saying "someone else contacted me about your day but since you were first, i am holding it for you. let me know if you want me to send the contract." Which I already said I did. So I emailed back yes and he emailed me today basically saying the other person wanted him for more time and more players and they overnighted a deposit to him and "sorry for the inconvenience."
i was pissed and also sad because I had heard that he was the best Spanish guitarist in the area. Am I crazy or did he just basically wait for something bigger and better to come along?

The worst part is, having the Spanish guitar was one of the things my fiance was actually excited about!

 

[sunnygirl]

I actually cried when I read his email! How silly is that! This whole wedding planning thing certainly plays with your emotions!

 

[diamondfan]

that stinks, because he was motivated by the money, which on one hand I get but still...

can you get the SECOND best Spanish guitarist in the area?! Should be fine, you might never even know the difference!

 

[Future Mrs Polka Dot]

I''m sorry!! That really stinks

Hopefully you can find another great guitarist to do it!

 

[sunnygirl]

Yes, I do understand that this is a business but he shouldn''t have said he was available and then not send me a contract and he shouldn''t have said he was reserving the day for me because I was first when this clearly wasn''t the case.

Thanks for your kind words! Now I need to find the second best guiatarist.

 

[aljdewey]

I''m guessing that he sensed that you weren''t totally decided on it yet. While it was certainly up to him to send the contract, you got busy with other things, and he likely interpreted it as lack of being totally decided. When he had someone who was seriously interested (enough to overnight a deposit), he went with it.

Sorry; I''m sure it''s disappointing. This happens often with wedding vendors, so if you''re interested, make it clear that you are and take swift action so they know you''re serious.

 

[gtn]

Things happen for a reason. It is clear that this guy was motivated by money, it does sound like he was waiting for something more lucrative to come along... at least he didn''t bail out on you at the last minute. I have heard of horror stories like that. Basically, the musician backed out in the last week and returned the deposit and it was written in the musicians contract so the bride had no recourse. With that said, make sure the 2nd best spanish guitarist doesn''t have such a clause in his contract. If it does, ask him to remove the clause and offer a larger deposit.

BTW, what area are you from. Don''t give the guys name as you do not want to give him any form of publicity.... Once you find another guitarist, post his name and hopefully Karma will find him...

 

[Mandarine]

Sorry about that....I know hwo you feel because I had a smilar experience with a caterer...it just stinks.

I know is no consolation...but just try to think it wasn''t meant to be!. I am sure there are other great guitarrists out there!

I was actually thinking of doing this for my ceremony too!!

Good luck, you will find something and it will be even better!...you don''t want to be dealing with flaky vendors anyway!

M~

 

[surfgirl]

Reading your post, you were the one who wasn''t sure about having him for the ceremony too...So he probably thought you didn''t think he was good enough or something. And you also dropped the ball, as you noted. I''d chalk it up to a lesson learned and be ready to make a faster decision and sign a contract when you locate the next musician.

 

[sunnyd]

sorry that happened, but (making an educated guess here) that business is one of feast or famine. if they don''t play, they don''t make money. ya know? so if he didn''t know you were absolutely sure (meaning deposit) he had to go with someone who would provide the funds to allow him to eat! that was wayyy too dramatic, but you get the gist.

you''ll find someone just as good, i''m sure!

 

[sunnygirl]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your comments! I feel much better about it today - it''s amazing how time changes your perception of things. I do agree that, in the end, things happen for a reason and thankfully this happened now and not one week before the event. I hope sure whoever I end up hiring will be great and not flaky!

Also, i sent him an email back and he sent me one back immediately apologizing again and something he said in this email (re: deposits and such) makes me feel 100% sure that even if he had given me the opportunity to send him a deposiit - which he hadn''t - I ask myself how this girl had his address to overnight him her check but he never gave me his address - even if he had my deposit, he still would have backed out and just given it back to me (which is apparently what his contract says).

And just to clarify, I had said I FOR SURE wanted him to play at the cocktail hour because I heard he was so fantastic and he agreed he would. And I said that many times - the whole ceremony thing was just an extra thing that came up later. I asked hiim how much the deposit was and he said he would send me a contract and never gave me his address or a way to pay him so I really dont think I dropped the ball. i think he was holding out. I have a job where I work 60-80 hours/week and I hardly think i have to be calling/emailing someone multiple times a day for them to allow me to give them money!

Ah well...on to my search for a new guitarist!
PS I decided I dont want the guitar sound during the ceremony...I am more interested in strings as I think it will sound nice in the church.