My story - looking for opinions

[ilovesparkles]

Hello all!

I haven''t been a member for long but became easily addicted and check PS like 3 times a day at minimum hehehe. While reading other stories and becoming completely obsessed with erings, I thought I might post my own story since I could use some souind opinions (perhaos to kick me out of lala-lan and back onto earth)

Ok so it was back in the begining to mid-october I was online meeting new people on one of the various web servers with profiles. And met a sweet guy that I began talking to. Didn''t think much of it or have any plans for it to go anywhere other than a new web buddy for two very important reasons. 1 - He lives in WA and I live in MN (1600+ miles) and 2 - I am one religion and practicing, he was raised another religion and non-practicing. However, we very quickly fell in love to both of our surprise! I made my first trek out to see him back in January and it was a dream come true, unfortunately because I am in school and he cannot take time off of work, and of course the distance, we can only see eachother about every 2-3 months (I''m leaving again March 15th woohoo

).

So as you can imagine having a long-distance relationship and falling to hard and so fast we have had several very important and deep conversations. About religion, kids, familiy, and marriage. We want to have all of that together eventually. Because of location and finances he will not be moving here to be with me until Jan. 2007

but I have come to terms with that. The second piece of our timeline is my education - I will be finished with graduate school in May 2007.

I guess my problem here, is that my mom has gotten me into looking at erings and introduced me to PS and I have become utterly obsessed!

I mean imagine that! So is it way too early and completely psycho of me to already be thinking about erings and proposals etc? How do I bring up a conversation about looking at a timeline that fits with the one already in place? If he is simply stressing about the move do I have to wait a whole year before I can even bring any of this up? Is it ridiculous to plan a timeline now in what I guess on the outside has only been a 3.5 month relationship? Perhaps I need to ban PS from my internet browser

? Just kidding about that one of course! I also have to keep in the back of my head that when he moved to WA, it was for a fiance. And when he got there, he quickly learned that she was cheating on him, so he has been badly burned by this very situation in the past. I guess I need some real advice on how to slow myself down and enjoy the here and now.

 

[jldunn]

I don''t think there''s anything wrong with talking about engagement rings, I dated a girl once that had already purchased clothes for her future children. Most girls would love a diamond (and want to make sure they got a good one). Some girls.. well, some girls are nuts. I think you''re definitely on the sane end of things.

As far as putting together a timeline, my girlfriend keeps trying to do that to me. She tells me things like, "I want you to propose in July, you can ask my father in June." or "You can''t propose to me until at least May." I tell her that I refuse to conform to any timeline she may wish to lay down and will propose when I feel like it. She has the ability to reply with a yes or no, and other than that, it''s out of her hands. It drives her crazy, I love it.

In general, I say just take the relationship as it goes, let him known you''re interested in getting married, and leave it up to him to decide when he''s going to ask you. Strictly a matter of my own personal opinion, mind you, and completely prone to fallibility.

I''d ask for a huge flawless rock, it''ll look fabulous on your finger and the time and sacrifice he''ll put into saving for it will help make sure you''re not rushing anything. You''ve got your whole life to be married and no good reason to rush it (I hated when my girlfriend''s father told me this, but it''s unfortunately true).

I had a two year relationship at a long distance before, lots of amazing weekends and weeks together. I think it''s important to spend some time living in the same town, a lot changes in the dynamic when you live close to each other. There''s no more going home back to real life and normalness and you have to find a way to meld that passionate love between the two people and the day to day do the laundry and go to work of life.

 

[decodelighted]

Hmmm. Interesting situation. Everyone has their own timeline about things and I do think sometimes you just "know". In earlier generations quick engagements & such seemed to be more prevalent. It''s the "long distance" thing that would put the brakes on any serious planning for me. I agree with the previous poster who said that living in the same town & day to day relations are VERY different than the "vacation romance" of visits & pining for each other etc. etc.

He may very well be your future husband ... but I would try to focus on getting excited about the move & spending more time together rather than focusing on the ring/engagement/proposal/wedding. It''s natural to get a little swept up in the "what if" especially if this is the first person you''ve felt could be "the one" ... but tempering that enthusiasm temporarily would probably be more beneficial for your mental health and the health of the relationship in the long run. Make sense?

 

[Mandarine]

Hi

I agree with the other comments as well. Specially about living in the same town for a while. I dated my ex for about 2 years long distance and everything was great!....then we were finally in the same town and decided to move in together...at the end the realtionship didn''t work...but that''s not to say that everyone''s story is like that!...

On the other hand...I think I knew I would love to be my BF''s wife after a couple of months (ok, more like from the day I met him!!!...I actually called my best friend that same day and told her I had met my "dream guy"!).

I''m also another obsessive PSer...I just love reading all the stories!....before I joined I thought I was getting worried that I was a little insane...but it turns out I wasn''t

!.

Most guys don''t think about their future as much as us girls do.......we think about all this stuff from the time we are little and meeting someone that we feel is the one just brings a lot of excitement and anticipation!. I would be careful with how you discuss things with him....just so he doesn''t feel this very common boy thing...the pressure!. Once I made my BF realize that I just wanted to be able to talk about things and I wasn''t asking for a specific date/time, etc...he realized where I was coming from an now we can talk more openly

Good luck!!!

M~

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 2/22/2006 10:07:12 PM
Author: Mandarine
I would be careful with how you discuss things with him....just so he doesn''t feel this very common boy thing...the pressure!. Once I made my BF realize that I just wanted to be able to talk about things and I wasn''t asking for a specific date/time, etc...he realized where I was coming from an now we can talk more openly

Good luck!!!

M~

Wow so simple yet that is so brilliant souinding right now lol! Thanks for the opinions and please keep them coming, I am feeling a little out of control lately and your feedback really helps me feel a little more sane!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 2/22/2006 9:26:51 PM
Author: jldunn
I don''t think there''s anything wrong with talking about engagement rings, I dated a girl once that had already purchased clothes for her future children. Most girls would love a diamond (and want to make sure they got a good one). Some girls.. well, some girls are nuts. I think you''re definitely on the sane end of things.

Thank you for that Jeremy! As miniscule as it may sound, that one sentence meant a lot to me!

 

[anchor31]

My situations is similar to yours as my SO are long distance as well. We have been for 2½ years, and we finally will live in the same town in late August, after three years. We went throught a lot of things in the first few months, and after five months he was already telling me he wanted to marry me. We talked about how many kids we wanted, and what kind of house. Who would cook on weekend. Everything. However, we''re not going to be engaged before early May this year, which is two years and three months after he started talking about it!

What I mean to say is that a lot of men start talking about marriage early (quite a few ladies here can testify to that), but don''t propose before a couple of years at least. It may not be the case for your boyfriend, but then again it might. I don''t mean to tell you you''re being unreasonable, just don''t get too disappointed or frustrated if it doesn''t happen for a couple of years, because these things happen. And it doesn''t mean you can''t dream! Goodness knows for how long I''ve been looking for my dream ring!

Good luck!

 

[akw94]

Hi,
I understand about thinking about things before they happen and being somewhat obsessive, especially w/this website. I tend to analyze almost every situation and plan it out as much as possible beforehand. It has been a journey for me to realize that I can''t do that in this situation. I also agree that living together or in the same area is very important. I really believe in living together before marriage. My bf and I live about 5 blocks away, but I know that living in the same house will still be very different. We are both very different people so I like the idea of learning new things about each other and having the time to adjust to each other before our engagement or certainly before a marriage. That being said, i''d still love it if he asked now but I am ok with waiting. I do think it''s ok to have serious talks early in a relationship. My bf and I met online too and we took things pretty slow. We didn''t talk on the phone until about a month after "meeting". We then physically met about a month after that. We started talking about what we wanted in a relationship early on. That was actually easy for us (but weird to others) b/c we developed this very strong friendship given our slower beginning. We talked about marriage, kids, religion, fears, etc... Maybe the two of you can talk generally about topics and then ease your specifics into the conversation. We did a lot of that until we both felt comfortable w/specifically talking about us and not just generally what we wanted a marriage or wedding to be like. See what his thoughts are compared to yours. If he''s planning to move to where you are, obviously it''s pretty serious already. Given that, he''s probably ok w/talking about more. Maybe not setting dates but at least talking about it. When we first started talking about rings and weddings, it was a relief to me b/c we talked about everything else and it felt so weird not to talk about this. When we recently had a talk about timeframes and his was a bit different than mine, that part hurt but I felt very good about it being in the open. I think communication between you two is the most important thing. If this is something important to you, it should be important to him too. He doesn''t have to have all of your same opinions (but boy wouldn''t it be nice if they did!), but he should be open to talking to you and working things through so you both feel comfortable.
Good luck!

 

[Caribou]

In regards to talking about getting engaged and rings, it really depends on the guy. My ex-fiance didn''t want to talk marriage for the first year we were engaged, then he slowly started talking more about it. My ex-boyfriend, never wanted to talk about it. My fiance and I started talking about it, very soon in the relationship, we were seriously looking at rings after 5 months of dating, then we got engaged 11 months later. So again, it depends on the guy and their feelings toward commitment. While I don''t see any harm in looking at rings, especially since you''ve talked about marriage, I wouldn''t put too much pressure on him. Which in easy (even if done innocently) to do.

My opinion, if I were in your shoes, I would not ask for a timeline..it has only been 3.5 months. To me, that''s too soon. Just enjoy the time you spend together and the time you talk....eventually you will have your questions answered. And you never know, if he doesn''t feel the slight bit of pressure he might tell you sooner rather than later. If by 6 months of dating, things haven''t changed, then I feel that''s a better time to inquire about a timeline.

 

[snuga]

I have to agree with what everyone has said.. just dont pressure him. I was going crazy for a long time and then I openly talked to my BF about a "timeline" or at least an idea of when he wanted to propose. Turns out, it didn''t help my insanity all that much. What really calmed me down was just convincing MYSELF that it will happen, sooner or later. You have to be at peace with where you are yourself before you can be at peace in your relationship. Your thoughts about engagement/rings/marriage are always going to be there, but just enjoy what you have now, because once you get engaged and married, you will never be able to be where you are now again.

 

[IndiBlue]

Date: 2/23/2006 12:28:12 PM
Author: kalispera
I have to agree with what everyone has said.. just dont pressure him. I was going crazy for a long time and then I openly talked to my BF about a ''timeline'' or at least an idea of when he wanted to propose. Turns out, it didn''t help my insanity all that much. What really calmed me down was just convincing MYSELF that it will happen, sooner or later. You have to be at peace with where you are yourself before you can be at peace in your relationship. Your thoughts about engagement/rings/marriage are always going to be there, but just enjoy what you have now, because once you get engaged and married, you will never be able to be where you are now again.

Well put Kali-

My toughest obstical was myself. I became obsessed with the idea of getting engaged and lost sight of myself and my awesome relationship. Once, I remembered why I wanted to be engaged it got a lot easier and I wasn''t so all about it.

My advice to anyone would be not to obsess over rings- look, get and idea as to what you like, but don''t spend too much time on it. Your not marrying a ring- your marrying a man and who knows your opinions might change once you get to the jewelry store anyway.

All that you go though before you get engaged is well worth it! Enjoy your life and your relationship before all the excitment ! Good luck!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Thank you all ladies and gents! Keep the wonderful opinions and advice coming pretty please! You have really helped me look at the bigger picture and keep in mind that he is what is important to me and not the ring/proposal etc. However on another note

it seems like before I became obsessed talking about things came so naturally, but now that I am obsessed I don''t know how to bring things up eeeeks! I worry that I am pressuring him or rushing things etc etc. All I want to do, as Mandarine put it, is keep things open but I''m not sure how to bring it up in a non-chalant way.... any suggestions?


Oh and what about promise rings? OK so I have been scheming

But i found this really adorable promise ring and was thinking what if I put a list together for future b-day, V-day, holiday gifts etc. This is only acceptable because my last b-day he had no clue what to get me and ended up taking me shopping because he was so clueless. So the idea would be to put together a list of things such as flowers, promise ring, cds, books, jewelry, etc and email it to him for future ideas. Any thoughts on the appropriateness or tactfulness of that? My mother quickly informed me that Miss Manners would tear me to pieces but I told her I would get the PSers opinions

So let me have them pretty please! Thank you!

Amanda

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 2/22/2006 9:09:43 PM
Author:ilovesparkles
Hello all!

I haven''t been a member for long but became easily addicted and check PS like 3 times a day at minimum hehehe. While reading other stories and becoming completely obsessed with erings, I thought I might post my own story since I could use some souind opinions (perhaos to kick me out of lala-lan and back onto earth)

Ok so it was back in the begining to mid-october I was online meeting new people on one of the various web servers with profiles. And met a sweet guy that I began talking to. Didn''t think much of it or have any plans for it to go anywhere other than a new web buddy for two very important reasons. 1 - He lives in WA and I live in MN (1600+ miles) and 2 - I am one religion and practicing, he was raised another religion and non-practicing. However, we very quickly fell in love to both of our surprise! I made my first trek out to see him back in January and it was a dream come true, unfortunately because I am in school and he cannot take time off of work, and of course the distance, we can only see eachother about every 2-3 months (I''m leaving again March 15th woohoo

).

So as you can imagine having a long-distance relationship and falling to hard and so fast we have had several very important and deep conversations. About religion, kids, familiy, and marriage. We want to have all of that together eventually. Because of location and finances he will not be moving here to be with me until Jan. 2007

but I have come to terms with that. The second piece of our timeline is my education - I will be finished with graduate school in May 2007.

I guess my problem here, is that my mom has gotten me into looking at erings and introduced me to PS and I have become utterly obsessed!

I mean imagine that! So is it way too early and completely psycho of me to already be thinking about erings and proposals etc? How do I bring up a conversation about looking at a timeline that fits with the one already in place? If he is simply stressing about the move do I have to wait a whole year before I can even bring any of this up? Is it ridiculous to plan a timeline now in what I guess on the outside has only been a 3.5 month relationship? Perhaps I need to ban PS from my internet browser

? Just kidding about that one of course! I also have to keep in the back of my head that when he moved to WA, it was for a fiance. And when he got there, he quickly learned that she was cheating on him, so he has been badly burned by this very situation in the past. I guess I need some real advice on how to slow myself down and enjoy the here and now.

my hubby and I met and were engaged within 90 days. not unusual at all....have fun looking at rings!

 

[ladykemma]

amanda - that's what my hubby and i do - we prepare lists of desired items and surprise the person with one choice.
I think it's a healthy way to do things. and It gets wimmen out of the mindset that he is supposed to be able to read our minds.
also avoids wasted money with gifts that sit unwanted in the corner.

 

[jennyt]

It sounds like you want honest advice, so I will give it to you.

You need to slow down. You''ve only "known" this man for 3.5 months, but you''ve only met him in person once. That is not enough to make a decision about the rest of your life. I would caution against not only marriage, but moving. Take it slowly and visit a few (or many!) more times before making this kind of commitment.

And please, please do not give him a list of birthday/christmas gift ideas. 1. It''s pretty presumptious unless he specifically asked for such a list and 2. a promise ring or engagement ring is something that should be given when the time is right, not because the woman puts it on her list.

And if you can''t have an open and honest discussion and you find yourself "scheming" instead, it probably means you''re not far enough along in the relationship to be making those decisions.

Sorry for being so direct-but I would really hate to see you jump so quickly into this new relationship and end up getting hurt.

Good luck!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 2/25/2006 2:22:19 PM
Author: jennyt
It sounds like you want honest advice, so I will give it to you.

You need to slow down. You''ve only ''known'' this man for 3.5 months, but you''ve only met him in person once. That is not enough to make a decision about the rest of your life. I would caution against not only marriage, but moving. Take it slowly and visit a few (or many!) more times before making this kind of commitment.

And please, please do not give him a list of birthday/christmas gift ideas. 1. It''s pretty presumptious unless he specifically asked for such a list and 2. a promise ring or engagement ring is something that should be given when the time is right, not because the woman puts it on her list.

And if you can''t have an open and honest discussion and you find yourself ''scheming'' instead, it probably means you''re not far enough along in the relationship to be making those decisions.

Sorry for being so direct-but I would really hate to see you jump so quickly into this new relationship and end up getting hurt.

Good luck!

Thank you for your honesty! It is much appreciated. There will be many more visits before he moves, but it is difficult given the distance and finances. I know I would have never even fathomed looking at rings or found PS if my mom hadn''t gotten me into it a month ago. But I cannot blame it all on that either. Its hard to find a balance between enjoying the here and now and dreaming about our future when we cannot be physically together all the time. The one thing that the distance does have going for us is that it forces us to take things slower than we would if we already lived in the same city. Thanks again!

Amanda

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 2/25/2006 2:22:19 PM
Author: jennyt
You need to slow down. You've only 'known' this man for 3.5 months, but you've only met him in person once. That is not enough to make a decision about the rest of your life. I would caution against not only marriage, but moving. Take it slowly and visit a few (or many!) more times before making this kind of commitment.



And if you can't have an open and honest discussion and you find yourself 'scheming' instead, it probably means you're not far enough along in the relationship to be making those decisions.

Giving him a list of things you'd like as presents and mentioning marriage or promise rings at this stage is almost garaunteed to scare him off. As you get to know each other better, buying presents will become easier.

And you can't know enough to make this kind of commitment (engagement, promise ring, etc) until you have seen the less pleasant aspects of him and asked yourself if this is really something you want to live with for the rest of your life.

ETA: However, since I'm on PS almost everyday, have tried on rings and even *gasp* a wedding dress, despite the fact that my bf is too stressed to even think about stuff for another month.... I'm not really in a position to talk scold someone else for being obsessed too early on!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 2/25/2006 4:57:29 PM
Author: Wren

Giving him a list of things you''d like as presents and mentioning marriage or promise rings at this stage is almost garaunteed to scare him off. As you get to know each other better, buying presents will become easier.

And you can''t know enough to make this kind of commitment (engagement, promise ring, etc) until you have seen the less pleasant aspects of him and asked yourself if this is really something you want to live with for the rest of your life.

ETA: However, since I''m on PS almost everyday, have tried on rings and even *gasp* a wedding dress, despite the fact that my bf is too stressed to even think about stuff for another month.... I''m not really in a position to talk scold someone else for being obsessed too early on!

Its funny you mention the less pleasant things because we got a good dose of that while I was out there. To begin with, he had a funeral to go to, which was hard, but in the end he was happy I was there to be with him. And he got food poisoning, and was ill for a good 3 days of our times together. I realize this is not the end of icky that you live with when you live with someone, but it was a goodd beginning. And despite the unpleasantries, we were simply happy to be side by side.

 

[jldunn]

I''d personally ixnay the want list. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt. If he listens to you and pays attention to you he''ll know what you like and what you don''t like. If he doesn''t know what you like, he doesn''t really know you. Granted, this is difficult with distance. It''s not like you go shopping with him and he gets the chance to see you pass up something that you like but is too expensive. Then again, it''s difficult to get to really know a person with distance too.

As far as funerals and sickness being the rough stuff, I think it''s harder to get along when there''s not something big and emotional going on. Being able to read a book in one room while your guy is doing laundry in the basement without feeling like you''re neglecting each other can be a bigger test.

There''s a book out there called "101 questions to ask before you get engaged". Probably a few with similar titles. I''d recommend doing a similar book together, even without engagement in the near future. It helps bring up a lot of topics that can get glossed over. A lot of times I''d find I had a serious disagreement with someone on something, and we''d just not talk about it.

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 2/26/2006 5:13:36 PM
Author: jldunn

As far as funerals and sickness being the rough stuff, I think it''s harder to get along when there''s not something big and emotional going on. Being able to read a book in one room while your guy is doing laundry in the basement without feeling like you''re neglecting each other can be a bigger test.

I gotta agree. Being able to do two totally seperate things while right next to each other and being able to give each other some space can be surprisingly difficult.
The two toughest things for me was learning to ignore him ignoring me in the mornings before the second cup of coffee, and to not take him sounding irritated and angry on the phone personally. (Boy that was hard)

 

[ilovesparkles]

I gotta agree. Being able to do two totally seperate things while right next to each other and being able to give each other some space can be surprisingly difficult.


Interesting. I will have to test this theory while I''m out there in 2 weeks. (OMG only 2 weeks until I''m with my baby again!

) And despite the fact we will want to spend every second with eachother, he will have to amuse himself when I have to work on school projects which there will be plenty of!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 2/26/2006 5:13:36 PM
Author: jldunn

As far as funerals and sickness being the rough stuff, I think it''s harder to get along when there''s not something big and emotional going on. Being able to read a book in one room while your guy is doing laundry in the basement without feeling like you''re neglecting each other can be a bigger test.

A hearty AMEN on that one!

When I first began dating hubby, he was at my place all the time - literally. Within 4 months, we moved to a place together.

When we were at "my" place, his stuff (games, hobbies, etc) wasn''t there, so we did stuff together. Moving in meant adjusting to each being engaged in different activities on different floors and not feeling displaced about it. HUGE part of it.

 

[Blenheim]

ilovesparkles,

You''ve mentioned a couple of times that your mother has really gotten you into looking at rings. I''m not sure if she''s pressuring you at all, but I''ve noticed that my mother has very different expectations about engagement and marriage than "my generation." My dad proposed to her after about six months of dating, and my aunt and uncle got engaged after only a week!

Remember, marriage is between you and your future husband, not your mother. It means that you''re committing to spend your life with someone, and you want him to be someone that you know inside and out. As others have said, take it slowly. Focus on getting to know your boyfriend right now.

I can definitely understand loving to look at rings though! I drool over rings on here that I know that I''m not going to get, for years and years at least. The boy''s in college, and working under a pretty limited budget. Something that helps -- think of it as "Oooh, pretty," not as "Oooh, I hope that **** chooses this one!"


Also -- I''m sorry if I misread this at all. As my boyfriend and I are getting closer and closer to moving in together (with no ring on my finger, as of now), my mother''s starting to get anxious about the whole thing. I''m gearing up to talk to her about her concerns tomorrow. Because of all this, the comments about your mom just kinda popped out at me.

 

[monarch64]

ilovesparkles, I have to agree with everyone who''s posted so far. Wait, sista, wait! There will be so many things to learn after the first blush of love wears off (and it will, trust us!)

I met my now-husband on a date with another guy. I felt as soon as I saw him ( and later when he put his arm around me, but that is another story) that he was "the one." He and I started dated immediately after we met, and I was soooo inclined to rush into things, especially after he started talking about marriage! I had graduated from college and had been living on my own, as had he for a few years... we moved in together after only knowing each other four months ( long distance, plus a 7 day trip to Mexico, his Christmas present to me) and I have to tell you, IT WAS HARD! It was not only hard, it was like getting to know a whole different person for both of us.

That being said, obviously now we are married, but it has taken a lot of work on both our parts to really, really get to know each other. Marriage for us was not something to be taken lightly at all, and we both strived to remember what drew us to each other each day during our engagement, if you can believe that! But we have done it. I wouldn''t say it was the easiest way to do it, because we''d have liked to have had more time to have "known" each other before I moved 3 hrs. away from where I was (mutual decision) to be with him. We just didn''t think we had enough time back then. Enough time to be together, enough time to talk, enough anything, we just wanted to be together. Now we embrace his travelling (for two and three days at a time) as time that we look at as "absense makes the heart grow fonder!"

What I''m trying to say here is, when people are telling you to wait it out, they are speaking from their own experiences and trying to save you some heartache. I know you think that these heartaches won''t come your way with someone you''re so in love with right now, but there is always the possibility that they will. We are just trying to tell you that it REALLY is best to play it safe and think with your head...your heart has already spoken, but your head needs to stay focused and do what is RIGHT FOR YOU!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 3/1/2006 12:55:11 AM
Author: Blenheim
ilovesparkles,

You''ve mentioned a couple of times that your mother has really gotten you into looking at rings. I''m not sure if she''s pressuring you at all, but I''ve noticed that my mother has very different expectations about engagement and marriage than ''my generation.'' My dad proposed to her after about six months of dating, and my aunt and uncle got engaged after only a week!

Remember, marriage is between you and your future husband, not your mother. It means that you''re committing to spend your life with someone, and you want him to be someone that you know inside and out. As others have said, take it slowly. Focus on getting to know your boyfriend right now.

I can definitely understand loving to look at rings though! I drool over rings on here that I know that I''m not going to get, for years and years at least. The boy''s in college, and working under a pretty limited budget. Something that helps -- think of it as ''Oooh, pretty,'' not as ''Oooh, I hope that **** chooses this one!''


Also -- I''m sorry if I misread this at all. As my boyfriend and I are getting closer and closer to moving in together (with no ring on my finger, as of now), my mother''s starting to get anxious about the whole thing. I''m gearing up to talk to her about her concerns tomorrow. Because of all this, the comments about your mom just kinda popped out at me.

LOL, there is no pressure from her at all. She is one of the many telling me to cool it. She has been with her bf for 6+ months and secretly began looking at erings a while ago. One day she spilled because she new I wowuld find out (I live with her) and started showing me all these rings. So curiosity got the best of me and I started looking at erings as well. Never really thought much about them until hello - I noticed how gorgeous they are

! So it began with looking at erings and diamonds until yu feel like you have seen everything out there. Then she found PS. I poo pood it as silly sounding, until I saw her looking at the Eye-candy folder. Well then I had to see that and well, um its quite addictive. So it is true that I wouldn''t even be thinking about rings and such if it weren''t for my mother its not a negative or pressure thing really. She did read this and say "hey you can''t blame me" for getting me obsessed. And when I pointed out the obvious facts she conceded. But anyways, I hope all went well with your mom and the talk! And thank you so much for your opinions and post!

Amanda

 

[Blenheim]

ilovesparkles,

It''s good to hear that. My mom''s been making some comments how some of her friends really like one particular jewelry store, and maybe the BF and I should look there. I was wondering if anything like that was going on.

I talked to my mom over lunch today, and it turns out that she wasn''t quite as anxious about the BF and me moving in together as I thought. She doesn''t know anyone her age who did that and she''s trying to get past that but in some ways she''s really glad that we are. Among other things, there''s a chance that I might have to have surgery this summer, and she''s relieved that I can rely on him to take care of me rather than a roommate who I just met. And to think that I''ve been stressing over this! Thanks for your good wishes.

And so many PSers have the most beautiful rings I''ve ever seen. Soooo easy to get obsessed!

Blenheim