Nanny at your wedding?

[megumic]

The one wedding guest bringing two children (3yo and 5yo) to our wedding has asked that their nanny also be invited to all wedding events so she does not feel left out. (Wedding guest has offered to pay for nanny''s food...however we would not feel comfortable agreeing.) They are traveling from OOT, but also have a 19yo daughter to help.

What are everyone''s thoughts on this?

 

[sba771]

I would give a firm NO, I think that is rediculous IMO. I will keep my reasons to myself, but just no.

 

[beltane]

Is having those children at your wedding important to you? If not, I''d say no.

If you do want the children there, then it may help that mom to have a nanny with her, so SHE can relax and enjoy her time at your wedding. I''d have no problem letting the mom pay for the nanny''s dinner if the nanny is actually working and watching the children.

When my oldest daughter got married, her neice and nephew were flower girl and ring bearer. So they needed to be there.They were very young, 4 and 3. Their mother, my other daughter, hired a nanny for the day so the nanny could chase the children, care for them, and eventually take them up to bed earlier -- all so my other daughter, the MOH, could enjoy her sister''s wedding day. The nanny was a godsend and a huge help for all of us.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 2/5/2010 7:34:00 AM
Author: sba771
I would give a firm NO, I think that is rediculous IMO. I will keep my reasons to myself, but just no.

Ditto. That''s ridiculous. I would have probably laughed out loud to that request!

And something tells me the nanny isn''t going to feel left out-she''d probably love a break!

 

[lulu]

If the children are going to be there regardless and they''ll pay for her meal, I''d say do it. The parents will be happy and the kids will have more supervision.

I went to a wedding once, second marriage for each, where the bride''s twin eight year old daughters cut the wedding cake before the photos.

 

[MonkeyPants]

Is your venue limiting the number of guests you can have? My venue is 150 max, and we''re having a very hard time with not going over the limit so I would say no if you''re having the same problem. I would be hesitant, but more willing to say yes if I didn''t have a cap on my guests.

 

[LilyKat]

NO! How cheeky! The invitation was for the people whose names were on the invitation. To ask to bring along anyone else is just incredibly tacky. It doesn't matter who it is.

She can either manage her own children herself, or leave them at home/the hotel with the nanny and come alone. I suspect she might be less concerned by the nanny feeling "left out" (what?? um, she's a paid professional...) than not wanting to deal with her tiresome offspring at a social event.

Just say, "Oh, I really wish we could, but unfortunately we're really tight on space, so I don't think we can stretch to include her. We'll parcel up some wedding cake for her though, so she won't feel left out!"

 

[lilylover]

I also think that this is silly. Why doesn''t the nanny just stay home (or at the hotel) with the youngest children?

 

[megumic]

It''s interesting...I''m kind of torn on the whole issue.

For one, it will keep the children supervised throughout the wedding. But for another, it''s a whole other guest we didn''t anticipate having and somewhat ridiculous.

As someone who used to be a nanny, it was occasionally frustrated to be asked to come along and watch the children, without a seat at a table, etc. But at the same time, I don''t necessarily want someone I don''t know at my wedding.

My other concern is that others with children (who''s children are not invited) may wonder why they couldn''t bring their children and nanny along as well. I''d hate to set poor precedent for myself.

Has anyone else had nannies "working" at their wedding?

 

[ilovesparkles]

I am having quite a few children at my wedding and hiring the oldest two to keep the younger ones from cutting totally loose. However they all know each other and a few are related and babysit for the youngest ones regularly. There is also a nursery at our synagogue where the kids can go play if they get too bored. The three that are not included in this bunch are well behaved and I was their nanny. I am not worried about them really. I also intend on having special activities and a separate cake for the kids. I really don''t know what you should do in your situation.