Need a bit of advice

[Jessie702]

I know, im not a LIW, but i still ahng around, and i need a bit of advice. I posted this under the diamond Hangout, but i thought i would post it here also...

Okay, fellow PS'ers, im just wondering if you could give me a bit of advice. Its a long story.....So last night while talking with my mother, i found out that my sister is moving out of her house, due to work, which i think is great. The house is too big for her, but my mother told to me, about how my sisters roommate, has been text messaging my sister boyfriend. Not just nice messages, but very raunchy sexy messages. Well my sister found out, by going through her cell phone, and matching the messages up with what the boyfriend said, and no, he didnt know respond nor lead the roommate on. While my sister confronted the roommate, she was very rude, and told her, she should just give up the boyfriend to her, because she, my sister, has enough guy friends, its no problem for her to find another. ...sorry this is very messy. Well, my sister, said no, and her roommate is continuing to be not nice to my sister, and is moving out on the 1st. ( Also, found out that the girl is under watch at her work, since the head guys believe she slept her way to the top, which, sadly enough is true!).
So this is where i am, is it right of me to say anything to the roommate, while normally i wouldnt, the problem is, her roommate was my friend. We were very close growing up, but i knew how she was, and parted ways from her after my first year of college, we were friends for more than 8 years. I have tried to be friends with her, but when we hang out, or i have invited her over, she has been very rude to my FI, and has...ummmm...dressed rather inapporiate, and acted inapporiate when it came to him and I. Lets jsut say, i almost knocked the eyes back in her head when she rolled than, and my mother has also told she is jealous of my relationship. Knowing what i know of her, i keep FI away from her, even though he does not like her, but i would rahter keep the peace, and just be careful, ya know that whole...once a man stealer, always a man stealer. ANYHOW...is it right of me to say something to her, even though, her and i are no longer friends? Is it just me, or is it wrong of her to do this, while living under my sisters roof? Honestly, i do want to call her, and confront her on her slutty ways, and let her have a piece of my good God given mind, but what do you think.

Thanks, and sorry for it being a bit confusing, the whole situation is.

 

[Anonymous]

It's probably not what you want to hear, but I wouldn't engage in any kind of conversation with this "woman". She KNOWS that what she's doing is wrong. She's lost friends over it and eventually will learn her lesson. It sounds like she's pretty blatant about it so the girls around her know to watch out for her nastiness. There isn't really any good reason for you to talk to her. If she cared about what people thought of her, she wouldn't be doing the things that make her such an awful person (at least in terms of respecting fidelity and morals).

I'd suggest that you invest that emotional energy and time into helping your sister figure out what to do now. At least her BF is faithful!

 

[wakingdreams53]

She sounds incredibly toxic and your family is much better off far away from her. There doesn't seem like there would be much to say or even do. Everyone seems to be aware. Aside from threaten her, I can't imagine what talking with her would even accomplish.

Nonetheless, good luck!

 

[Jessie702]

Thanks Ladies, i spoke with my mom and she agreed

 

[mariewest]

I would suggest that you fight your urge to call her and b!tch her out. I would say just stay out of it, and not give her the attention that she is obviously trying to seek. Ignore her and stay out of the drama. Your sister already expressed her dislike for her and her actions. I wouldn't give her the time of day. Surround yourself and your sister with positive people.

 

[confusedaisy]

My cousin had a friend who she brought around the family who acted the same way your sister's roommate acts(flirting with the attached men, dressed provocatively, talking about inappropriate things around the men). We brought it to my cousin's attention that she was inappropriate and that we didn't really want her around anymore and she spoke to her and ultimately ended her friendship with her. People like that are toxic and if your sister is moving out, hope that's the last you'll hear of her and keep your distance. Those woman and so called "friends" have very little self confidence and loyalty, it's best to distance yourself and your sister from her as well.

 

[Glitz]

I have to agree with everyone else. As much as you want to tell this B where to go, you would just be giving her more attention which sounds like what she's looking for, good or bad. I'm glad that she's moving away from your sister and hopefully out of both of your lives. Try not to get caught up in her drama and just carry on with your awesome life

 

[Italiahaircolor]

If your sister is moving out and her boyfriend isn't playing into the antics of this whackadoo, then I'd steer clear of any big show down.

The way I see it is, you're no longer friends...FOR A REASON. Allowing yourself to get sucked back into her drama isn't in YOUR best interest, even if it's just to defend your sister--which makes you a good big sister, BTW. However, I'm willing to bet your sister is a big girl, and I can tell from your posting she's making the decisions she needs to in order to get some space and distance. So, really, that's enough.

At the end of the day, you can't change other people...no amount of yelling or screaming or telling is going to be the "a ha" moment for someone with deep rooted social issues. So, basically, don't waste your time.