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Need help with friend''s daughters wedding planning.

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Gypsy

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Aug 8, 2005
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So my aunt asks me to help a good friends daughter with her wedding planning. I say okay.

Bride is in TX. Her wedding is the day before mine.

Aunt tells me she needs help picking her colors. I''m thinking... No big deal. Give her my email.

Come to find out bride has a groom and date and a venue. Needs help with everything else. EVERYTHING. And she''s 6 months out from her wedding. No dress... nothing. Oooooooooooooooooookay.

Now I love you guys, and you are a great resource. But I post a lot of personal stuff on here... and I don''t want to share you all with this person.

So... other than her knot local boards, where can I send her for help. Obviously I''ll help her with what I can from HERE, and post for advice from you all for HER. But PS is my oasis. Don''t wanna share.

What other bridal websites, boards and resources should I have her look at. I was thinking wedding bee. Then the knot for cakes and flowers, and dress ideas.

Plus wedding magazines. Any good issues out now? I haven''t bought any in so long.

I think she''s located right in Fort Worth TX. So any vendor recs would obviously be appreciated. I have no idea what her budget is, I just sent her an email asking her for information so I can help her better.
 
Well, The Knot came out with a new magazine for spring.

For websites, weddingchannel.com has local vendors along with theknot.com. Also just google texas & bride and a some sites should come up with more local information (like texasbrides.com or texasweddingmall.com).
 
Rather than magazines like Modern Bride, Elegant Bride, Knot Magazine, etc....I would suggest her getting a local wedding magazine. They are never as glamorous as the others but they''ve got the skinny on all the local vendors for everything you can imagine. The more popular mags are great for ideas and schemes but the local magazines have advertisements for all the local caterers, photographers, bakers, dress shops, etc.

At this point, she doesn''t have a ton of time to sit back and fantasize...she really needs to start choosing and finalizing ideas.
 
Date: 3/13/2008 6:11:50 PM
Author: scm1012
Rather than magazines like Modern Bride, Elegant Bride, Knot Magazine, etc....I would suggest her getting a local wedding magazine. They are never as glamorous as the others but they've got the skinny on all the local vendors for everything you can imagine. The more popular mags are great for ideas and schemes but the local magazines have advertisements for all the local caterers, photographers, bakers, dress shops, etc.

At this point, she doesn't have a ton of time to sit back and fantasize...she really needs to start choosing and finalizing ideas.
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Yeah, I went into this thing assuming she had all the vendors picks and a wedding gown. ANd just needed ideas for decorations, flowers, color of BM gowns and maybe some help picking invitations.

I made it pretty clear that she has NO time to waste and that she has to get as much done in the next month as possible.

I'm also feeling less than generous about sharing some of my wedding ideas specifically my color scheme, floral designs, decorative stuff, and cake design-- and my dress. Which is weird but I feel very proprietary about that stuff. I'd be fine if YOU all used my ideas, but I don't want this person doing that. Isn't that strange? I'm not usually so territorial. I just feel that I've invested so much in my planning, and into making the wedding mine that I don't want anyone who knows anyone I KNOW (like my aunt) borrowing my ideas.
 
Aside from those already mentioned, here are a few sites. Most of them are more for "inspiration" than anything, but the Craigslist forum might offer some local advice. They have a regular wedding forum; the link I listed is the "secret" VeilFo (fewer trolls).

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/forums/?forumID=1505
http://fayeandgreer.blogspot.com/2007_06_01_archive.html
http://www.stylemepretty.com/inspiration_boards/index.html
http://snippetandink.blogspot.com/
http://thepreppywedding.blogspot.com/2007/05/kimbas-perfectly-preppy-wedding.html
 
weddingbee.com

i understand you not wanting to share PS or your ideas. i would also think you''d be well within your rights to say NO to this whole thing unless she is compensating you. you''ve got plenty on your plate without planning someone else''s wedding, especially as you get closer to yours!

she pretty much just has to pick stuff. soon.
 
If she had been farther along, frankly I would have been much more helpful than I''m going to be. I''ve got no bandwidth to hand hold this bride. I just can''t. She could pay me, and I couldn''t do it. (well, I could if she paid me enough to quit my current job...lol) I''m just going to give her the resources to help herself. Pick a color palate to work from and some minor guidance. That''s why I wanted the wedding websites. I feel selfish keeping PS to myself, but oh well. There are ohter resources and she''s going to have to learn to use them. Like we all have.
 
Oooooh Kay. I think she''s a twit. I''m being judgemental and impatient. Cause she''s nothing like me. Granted. But I just got an email from her... and she''s a twit. She asked me to suggest wedding gowns for her. A) I haven''t seen her in 9 years and have no idea what she looks like now b) I have no idea what her tastes are c) I have no idea what her budget is.

And she''s decided that the first thing she needs to do, since she''s time crunched is to go dress shopping for BRIDESMAIDS dresses. Not for her own dress. For her bridesmaid''s dresses. This is AFTER I told her that the first thing she needs to do is get a gown for herself and a photographer and a videographer.

So I suggested she hire a wedding planner. That seemed the only thing to do. Seriously. You can''t help some people help themselves.
 
i am the same way as you -- I cannot stand sharing my ideas(even if I''m not using them)....I get very territorial about that stuff.

This girl sounds totally bizarre. Honestly, if she is showing no interest in her own wedding, I would highly suggest that you wash your hands of her and let her deal with it.

I''ve been in a similar situation where basically I had to help someone plan and organize an event that they had absolutely no interest in...and it was for THEM not me!!!!!!! I found myself stressing and expending so much energy over stuff that meant nothing to me. It was the worst.
 
Yeah I think she got the hint from my last email. She ddi reply to say that she's not getting a wedding planner, because she can get a better deal negotiating with vendors herself. Okay. GO TO IT THEN!

I'm territorial in real life. But not on here. I serously don't care if someone on here uses any of my ideas, my vendors or anything. It's just different. Someone could copy my e-ring exactly and I'd just be flattered, honestly. But for people in my real life. I care. It bothers me that my aunt would see her pics, and if we have some of the same stuff, then she'll compare them. I know, I've got bride brain, but there's just a point at which generousity of spirit runs a bit dry. I'm happy to give her OTHER ideas. Just not mine. LOL.
 
Gypsy, another website she might want to check out for ideas is www.chattybrides.com. While it''s a New England based site, it is a great resource for some ideas!
 
omg I am the same exact way. Online I could totally care less. But IRL, I am a total bitch about that stuff! hahahahaha
 
Date: 3/14/2008 1:46:39 PM
Author: sap483
Gypsy, another website she might want to check out for ideas is www.chattybrides.com. While it''s a New England based site, it is a great resource for some ideas!
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Thanks Sap. I''ll forward that one to her too.
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SCM... yeah, it''s strange. She''s definitely gotten the hint now, just sent me another email. Thinks I''m a total b*tch, no doubt. But oh well.
 
I would tell her to buy both her wedding and BM dresses from jcrew or ann taylor to avoid the hassles of dealing with a bridal shop and their time/scheduling issues and an overwhelming array of choices. its pretty hard to screw up and while not cheap, it also isn''t the most expensive.
 
Date: 3/14/2008 2:55:17 PM
Author: enbcfsobe
I would tell her to buy both her wedding and BM dresses from jcrew or ann taylor to avoid the hassles of dealing with a bridal shop and their time/scheduling issues and an overwhelming array of choices. its pretty hard to screw up and while not cheap, it also isn''t the most expensive.
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I will pass that along as well.

I feel so bad cause I feel like such a b*tch. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Oh well.
 
You're not a b*tch -- you're just not a free wedding planning service!!! Please don't beat yourself up over this.

ETA: you can also send her to craigslist for her area -- under discussion forums there is one called "wed". i've never used it but some of their other forums can be helpful (i like the local pets forum), but you do deal with a lot of trolls.
 
God, the gall of some people!

I hear you about not wanting to share PS with anyone...I feel the exact same way. I haven''t said too much about my friends on here (except for the two with the love of that horrible bridal gown I tried on w/the beading down the back
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) as I am aware that two of them could also be planning a wedding soon and might stumble across PS themselves, though I don''t really think either of them are that resourceful.

I have also steered them to brides.com and weddingchannel.com as well as the knot to throw them off the PS trail. I just feel like this is MY spot, and I don''t wanna share it!

My best friend has always had her heart set on a Princess cut stone, which she knows I am personally not a fan of, but if she loves it, I will help her find the best one for whatever funds he has. Her boyfriend''s divorce just became final on Wednesday (long story, I know...rekindled love, etc...) and she mentioned wanting to go and look at stones and I suggested two reputable family jewelers nearby that carry fantastic designers and where she would also be able to look into getting a ring custom made if that''s the route she chooses to go.

After all her talk of HAVING to have a princess cut stone, she then throws out she is now considering a round stone...I am the only one in my group of friends w/a round stone, and let me tell ya, I like it that way! I know I''m being selfish, but for the 10+ years I''ve known this gal, it''s been all about princess stones. 8 months into my engagement and now she''s thinking about rounds? I could strangle her!!!

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! Not sharing PS with no one, no how!!!

I commend you for trying to help this gal, but I agree it might be hopeless is she can''t seem to help herself. Best of luck with all that!
 
enbc-- Okay. I feel a little better. It''s just that my family generally feels like I''m very b*tchy. As John says they bring out the worst in me. And this person knows my aunt, the one who of all my family members probably thinks I''m the b*tchiest. I just feel like I have boundaries and expect people to respect them, and when they don''t I point it out. In my family... boundaries are not respected.... so I''m frequently having to defend mine. Messed up but whatever. So I guess I didn''t want it to get back to my aunt that her ''helpful'' neice was actually a complete B*tch. But oh well, she''s thought I was a b*tch since I was 12, that''s not going to change now.


And people wonder why I''m in therapy. No, actually most don''t. LOL.

Harleigh, I hear you! I really do. I don''t share this place with people in my real life. I share it with clueless men who are looking for diamonds, but that''s it. And they are unlikely to become long term members. As for your friend and her princesses... I''d turn her onto AGS 000 princesses or to WF''s X factor. And even if she gets a round. Talk her into a lovely halo... or something else that is COMPLETLY different from your look. (HUGS) honey. And feel free to vent some more.
 
Gypsy, I totally get you on not wanting to share PS.

My FSIL and a friend both asked me which forum I was on - since FI managed to say that I spend half my life on a forum.

I actually told them that I wouldn''t tell them the name, and would they please not look for it as it was somewhere very special for me.

The friend said she totally respected my feelings - FSIL looked pissed off. Luckily they think it''s a bridal forum, not diamonds!
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Re Your friend''s daughter, you could send her some of our ideas - there were lots of collages on the wedding colours thread. You could just send her the pictures.

Personally I am very happy for anyone to use my ideas - as long as I don''t know them IRL, I would have thought most people here would feel the same way.

Being a mainly US site, there might be more scope for someone here having mutual friends without knowing it, which could get difficult!
 
Wow Gypsy, no offense, but this chick is weird!
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I mean I can understand not wanting to do the wedding planning, but people that feel that way usually hire a planner. Odd, odd. And I can understand not giving up PS, the only person I share PS with is my Mom because she found it first!
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ETA: Oh and FI knows what it is...hehe.
 
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