Need some help, please! Re: thank you''s

[dani13]

Hi girls!

I need some help...I am trying to get my thank you''s for my wedding out, and as usual I am procrastinating!!! Before I get started, I just want to make sure that I know what I am doing.. Can anyone give me examples of wording for these notes? For example, how should I write a thank you for guests that gave monetary gifts? And, also what should I write to guests who gave gifts such as china, registry items, etc.?

What did you write in your thank you cards to your guests?

Thanks so much in advance!!!

 

[ladyciel]

Hmm, I can''t speak from direct experience, but here''s what I think we''ll most likely do/include:

1) "Thanks for attending, it was so great to see you!", or "Sorry you couldn''t make it."
2) Thank you so much for the (item) , and some description of it (it''s beautiful, we''ll get lots of use out of it, can''t wait to use it when we we...)

For monetary gifts, I think we''ll probably say "Thank you for your generous gift" and then say something about what we plan to use it towards (if there''s something specific) or a general statement of how it will help us as we start our life together.

I think the biggest key is to make sure you personalize each note somehow. Beyond that, all you need to do is say thank you!

 

[CrownJewel]

We bought a Tiffany crystal decanter for a friend, and her note said something like, "Thank you for sharing our wedding day with us. Just having you there was a wonderful gift, so we are very grateful to have received the beautiful decanter. We will certainly put it to good use! Thanks again for being there, and we hope to see you soon."

For other weddings, we've given money. The thank you cards said something like, "We're so glad you were at our wedding. We hope you had fun, because we certainly did! Thank you for your very generous gift of money. It is going into a savings account for our new home!"

It's hard to go wrong with thank you cards! The fact that you are sending them at all shows that you are thankful. I did go to a wedding once where the bride sent out blank thank you cards along with a wallet size photo of them. No salutation, no signature, nothing. Actually, she hand delivered mine because we worked together, so my name wasn't even on there at all. Which is still better than nothing, but still...

 

[dani13]

Thank you so much, ladies! This is definitely enough for me to get started!!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

Another thing that's always nice is when the card says something personal at the end. Like 'By the way, I hear you are expecting a baby / bought a new house / got your degree / got your pilot's license / whatever. That's wonderful and warm congratulations from us!' Of course, there won't always be something like that to say, but when there is, it reminds the person that you really do care about them too, even while you're in the midst of 'you'. If you know what I mean.

 

[scarlet16]

Date: 1/14/2008 11:38:00 AM
Author: CrownJewel
We bought a Tiffany crystal decanter for a friend, and her note said something like, 'Thank you for sharing our wedding day with us. Just having you there was a wonderful gift, so we are very grateful to have received the beautiful decanter. We will certainly put it to good use! Thanks again for being there, and we hope to see you soon.'


For other weddings, we've given money. The thank you cards said something like, 'We're so glad you were at our wedding. We hope you had fun, because we certainly did! Thank you for your very generous gift of money. It is going into a savings account for our new home!'


It's hard to go wrong with thank you cards! The fact that you are sending them at all shows that you are thankful. I did go to a wedding once where the bride sent out blank thank you cards along with a wallet size photo of them. No salutation, no signature, nothing. Actually, she hand delivered mine because we worked together, so my name wasn't even on there at all. Which is still better than nothing, but still...

I think karasue's suggestion re: monentary gifts is good, but make sure you have the line about what it will be going towards. We recently received a thank you note that said nothing but "thank you for your gift of cash." I was shocked at how impersonal and simply tactless it was.

PS- Dani, did you get your video yet???? I'm excited to hear how it turned out.

 

[dani13]

Date: 1/14/2008 3:05:40 PM
Author: scarlet16

Date: 1/14/2008 11:38:00 AM

Author: CrownJewel

We bought a Tiffany crystal decanter for a friend, and her note said something like, 'Thank you for sharing our wedding day with us. Just having you there was a wonderful gift, so we are very grateful to have received the beautiful decanter. We will certainly put it to good use! Thanks again for being there, and we hope to see you soon.'



For other weddings, we've given money. The thank you cards said something like, 'We're so glad you were at our wedding. We hope you had fun, because we certainly did! Thank you for your very generous gift of money. It is going into a savings account for our new home!'



It's hard to go wrong with thank you cards! The fact that you are sending them at all shows that you are thankful. I did go to a wedding once where the bride sent out blank thank you cards along with a wallet size photo of them. No salutation, no signature, nothing. Actually, she hand delivered mine because we worked together, so my name wasn't even on there at all. Which is still better than nothing, but still...

I think karasue's suggestion re: monentary gifts is good, but make sure you have the line about what it will be going towards. We recently received a thank you note that said nothing but 'thank you for your gift of cash.' I was shocked at how impersonal and simply tactless it was.


PS- Dani, did you get your video yet???? I'm excited to hear how it turned out.

Thanks so much, everyone!!

Scarlet- I haven't gotten my video yet, can you believe it? Its been almost 4 months since the wedding, but last time I talked to Spencer, he told me the video would be complete in 3-4 months. So, I figure I will call him if I dont hear from him by the end of this month. We are so anxious to see our video!
BTW, how is your planning going? When is your date again?

 

[surfgirl]

Dani, I think you've gotten some good ideas from folks here...I'd only add to that that as a gift giver, I just would like and appreciate a prompt 'thank you' note. I dont really care what it says. For example, my cousin got married in October, I sent a gift at that time which was received the week after her wedding and to date she has not acknowledged that she got our gift, let alone sent a 'thank you' for the wedding gift (though she's sent thank you's to other family members). I heard through the grapevine that she got the gift, really liked it (it was on her registry so I assumed she'd like it! Oh, and it was a set of steak knives, just in case she's reading this, yeah, I mean YOU!)...I should add that I eloped, unexpectedly, about 3 months before her wedding, though it had no affect on her big day. Maybe she's a bridezilla because I had the nerve to marry within months of her, and to date, she's also never acknowledged my marriage even though I sent her a wedding announcement

... Anyway, I've yet to get a thank you and I had to ask her mother to find out if she even got the gift or if it got lost or whatever. She got it. She claims she's "waiting to send out thank you's" until she gets some photo thank you nonsense made up. Whatever. I can say that it's really made me think the girl has zero manners. So to me, just send them out, dont worry about what to say because I think most people just appreciate knowing that you got their gift and bothered to send a thank you in the first place.

FYI, I sent mine out as I received gifts so people would know that we received what they sent us. It also helped me not get too bogged down with writing a lot of notes all in one sitting.

ETA: Apparently I'm bitter about this cousin thing! But I feel better now! Thanks for letting me vent on your thread about 'thank you' notes!

 

[dani13]

Date: 1/14/2008 4:06:40 PM
Author: surfgirl
Dani, I think you''ve gotten some good ideas from folks here...I''d only add to that that as a gift giver, I just would like and appreciate a prompt ''thank you'' note. I dont really care what it says. For example, my cousin got married in October, I sent a gift at that time which was received the week after her wedding and to date she has not acknowledged that she got our gift, let alone sent a ''thank you'' for the wedding gift (though she''s sent thank you''s to other family members). I heard through the grapevine that she got the gift, really liked it (it was on her registry so I assumed she''d like it! Oh, and it was a set of steak knives, just in case she''s reading this, yeah, I mean YOU!)...I should add that I eloped, unexpectedly, about 3 months before her wedding, though it had no affect on her big day. Maybe she''s a bridezilla because I had the nerve to marry within months of her, and to date, she''s also never acknowledged my marriage even though I sent her a wedding announcement

... Anyway, I''ve yet to get a thank you and I had to ask her mother to find out if she even got the gift or if it got lost or whatever. She got it. She claims she''s ''waiting to send out thank you''s'' until she gets some photo thank you nonsense made up. Whatever. I can say that it''s really made me think the girl has zero manners. So to me, just send them out, dont worry about what to say because I think most people just appreciate knowing that you got their gift and bothered to send a thank you in the first place.


FYI, I sent mine out as I received gifts so people would know that we received what they sent us. It also helped me not get too bogged down with writing a lot of notes all in one sitting.


ETA: Apparently I''m bitter about this cousin thing! But I feel better now! Thanks for letting me vent on your thread about ''thank you'' notes!

Oh, geez, Surfgirl, now I feel so bad b/c I am guilty of doing the same thing that your cousin did! I received gifts from people (before the wedding) who ended up not coming to the wedding for one reason or another, and I just figured I would send out all of the thank you''s to all the guests at once. So as of today, I have not sent a thank you to those specific people...Oh man, now I feel like such an ungrateful brat!!! Is that totally bad?? UGH!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

I'm unexpectedly a little bitter about this kind of thing too. My friend J got married last summer in the middle of nowhere. Many hours of travel by (seriously) bus, train, plane, rental car and taxi and $1000 later, it was a SUPER fun party and I'm so glad we went. I also sent a gift. That was in June. It is now January. I have yet to hear her even acknowledge that we sent a gift or went to all that trouble and expense to be there on her wedding day.

I am seriously wondering if she even GOT the gift. It's just so awkward at that point because what do you say to find out if it even arrived... 'By the way, did you get the X we sent you?' ... then it looks like you're fishing for thanks. But we've spoken so many times since then, and she hasn't even verbally thanked me. It's so weird. Maybe it DIDN'T arrive?!

So, uhm, yeah, what Surf said. Just send the darn cards! You have 4 weeks after the wedding to do so politely.

And 2 weeks after a gift arrives prior to the wedding.

ETA: I don't mean to make you feel bad! Just send them as soon as you can.

 

[Delster]

Surf, my cousin got married something over a year ago. As is customary over here for non-immediate family or very close friends, we gave a cash gift, with a card signed by both BF and I, which I handed to them personally. ELEVEN MONTHS later I received a thank you note, addressed only to me (both on the envelope and inside) that just read "Thank you for coming to our wedding." I thought it was rude. But then again, even my mother laughed at me for thinking it was rude. People just don't seem to send thank yous over here any more!

I love to get a thank you note that has a personal touch - at the very least mentioning the gift I gave. Better still, saying it was nice / useful / not disgusting etc...

 

[dani13]

Date: 1/14/2008 4:16:46 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I''m unexpectedly a little bitter about this kind of thing too. My friend J got married last summer in the middle of nowhere. Many hours of travel by (seriously) bus, train, plane, rental car and taxi and $1000 later, it was a SUPER fun party and I''m so glad we went. I also sent a gift. That was in June. It is now January. I have yet to hear her even acknowledge that we sent a gift or went to all that trouble and expense to be there on her wedding day.


I am seriously wondering if she even GOT the gift. It''s just so awkward at that point because what do you say to find out if it even arrived... ''By the way, did you get the X we sent you?'' ... then it looks like you''re fishing for thanks. But we''ve spoken so many times since then, and she hasn''t even verbally thanked me. It''s so weird. Maybe it DIDN''T arrive?!


So, uhm, yeah, what Surf said. Just send the darn cards! You have 4 weeks after the wedding to do so politely.

And 2 weeks after a gift arrives prior to the wedding.


ETA: I don''t mean to make you feel bad! Just send them as soon as you can.

OMG, IG!!! Its been 4 months!!! I feel like such an idiot!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh, don''t worry too much. Seems to be pretty normal.

Just maybe apologize for the delay when you write the notes. Not worth fretting over!

 

[gtn]

I agree send the thank you cards. If you have not sent a thank you card, did you at least verbally say thank you? I hope so. I have a list of people who have yet to send thank you cards and/or have not said thank you verbally. I love the fact that my girlfriend makes her oldest daughter (9 years old) send me personal thank you card for what ever I give her.

I was really lazy about my thank you cards for my house warming party.... I send Christmas Cards with thank notes written in it... Is that bad

I know the answer to the question, but I figured being in poor taste is better than being rude.

 

[surfgirl]

Dani, just send them! I think my resentfulness of my cousin situation is also exacerbated because she never bothered to even send a card or call or anything to acknowledge my marriage. But I sent her a gift and she STILL didn't even thank me. To me, that's really rude, but whatever. I think that essentially, weddings bring out the weirdness because as a society, today we just don't really adhere to the traditional social norms much at all and most people dont even KNOW what those social norms are/were. For example, I have had two very close friends who didn't bother to even send us a card when they got our wedding announcement. One called and one emailed (I hate email for such things). I was a bit surprised not even a card but both have since said to me, "Oh, BTW, I dont know what to get you as a wedding gift but I have a year so..." That's another one of those misunderstood "rules" that actually isn't a rule, you know?

Anyway, I didn't mean to make you feel bad, but really, just get those cards out woman! You'll feel a lot better when you do, too! I think it's so nice to get something other than a bill or solicitation so any thank you is better than none in my book! Now get writing missy!

ETA: I miss your bouquet avatar Dani!

 

[dani13]

Ok....you wont even believe what I am doing now.....writing out these darn thank you''s!!!! I have only written about 5 of them, and my hand is tired already-UGH! I figure, I have tomorrow and Wed. off, so I will finish them and mail them by the end of the week!!!!

Surfgirl- you miss my old avatar? I figured, I had that one for so long, it was time for a change! Dont worry, it will be back eventually!!

 

[surfgirl]

Good girl! Now stop checking PS and get writing!