Need Some Impartial Advice

[idhntr]

I''ve been reading this forum for a while and learning a lot, but I have run into some things I need some advice on...
I am planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me in the next month or so. She knows I am going to do it and that is okay. I want her to have a ring she loves, so we have been shopping around the last couple of weeks. She has found the one she absolutely loves. The problem is there is only one of them at the store. I have already called them and it is a one-of-a-kind ring that was only shipped to that particular store. They have no more in stock, even from the supplier. I know I need to act fast, and she pretty much knows I am going to get that one for her. However, I know she will go back to look at it as much as she can. I would like to know if I go and purchase it and then go back with her to the store at a later time and it is not there...will she be upset (not at me, but that the ring of her dreams is gone)? She wants to go with me to buy it, and I have already drug my feet at doing that. I feel like I should be doing this on my own, even though she picked it out. I have already lost the element of surprise in the ring, so the actual proposal will have to be my moment to shine. Has anyone else gone this route of letting her pick the ring she wants before the proposal. I believe that the ring should not be the reason she says yes, but rather a gift to show her your love after she says yes. Does anyone else share these thoughts? I appreciate any feedback.
BTW - We have been dating for five years. We have discussed marriage for a while and I know she is just waiting for me to ask. I am extremely fortunate to have found a girl I love and the same thing goes for her family. They have included me in everything since day one. That is extremely important to me as well and I hope that they know I cherish that. Anyway, thanks again for the feedback. Illok forward to reading it all.

 

[valeria101]

There are many such scenarios here: ring bought 'together' (the story of Nicrez and others on the 'show me the ring). It works nicely. The girl gets what she wants, and not all want the storry with the total surprise.

By all means do the shopping together. It seems clear by now that this is what she wants, and this does not make your task harder: no way a propposal can get to be an 'uninteresting' moment

with all the expectations for what comes afterwards!

Could you tell us what ring that is? It may be that the store's story is not accurate ... who knows. You might be able to get another one of the kind.

 

[sharonzhere]

I agree that the store could be saying that to get you to purchase it. But, if its the one she's set on and you are set to buy it, buy it and then propose quickly before she can get back to the mall!

 

[idhntr]

Thanks for the reply. By no means did I mean to make it seem like this is some extravigant ring or the like. She saw it at Costco and fell in love with it. There was one there like it several months ago and it was sold within a few days. This ring is similar and actually she likes it better than the other one. She does not like rings that stick up off her finger, nor does she want a "large rock." Every ring she has liked is around 1/3 of a carat. THis particular ring is the largest one she likes and it is somewhere around a .85 TCW white gold setting. It is a thicker band with around a .5c center round diamond in a bezel setting. It has a couple of smaller diamond set into the band that are spaced out. I have called their customer support and they do not offer this on their website. I called a few times to see if I would get the same story. I was told by everyone that they send different pieces of jewelry to different stores and they try not to send the same pieces in multiple numbers to the same stores. This ring was very limited in it's supply to begin with because it is not very "traditional." I called several other stores of theirs and they did not carry this ring. So, long story short, this is the only one in their system at this time.
I am probably going to purchase the ring tomorrow. I just need to see if she really wants to be there.

 

[fire&ice]

Pardon my bluntness - but buying a ring at Costco isn't an "event". Why would she want to be there? I could see if it was a high end jewelery store & they pampered you to death.

I have nothing against Costco. In fact, they are a staple around our house; and, I have bought jewelry there before.

Buy it and surprise her with a "pampered" proposal. Better in my book. just my 3cents.

 

[Nicrez]

Agreed with F&I. My fiance physically had me search for the stone (as I work across the street from the Diamond District and he's a busy man). He found my particular stone and bought it, but I did see it.

He kept it for a MONTH and tortured me with such things as blurry pictures and statements like, I am not sure...I am taking my time to propose because I want things to be perfect. He also lead me to believe he had a very specific plan to propose in our area, so when we went on vacation, I suspected but wasn't "expecting" anything. He did a good share of throwing me off his scent...

The agony was well worth it. I think you should do the same and let her know that if you have it you will propose when YOU feel like it. After all, it's YOUR moment too!