Need to Vent- A bit Depressed

[cindygenit]

So, i have only just started wedding preps. The only things i have organised are the dress and the wedding venue. I am really depressed at the moment because i am obsessed with saving, and lateyly, i just can''t seem to do that.

First I had to pay for the wedding dress (No layby cos it was on sale), and now the wedding venue is asking a down payment of $650 as soon as possible, and $2000 within 30 days. Let me tell you, my fiancee and I are making enough money just to survive at the moment. Now i am kind of regretting going with this venue, because my friend who got married recently told me that she only needed a deposit of $500, and then paid the rest just before her wedding day. This means that she had the chance to save money for the venue and food. How the hell can i save $2000 in 30 days????

Ohhh... it''s just so stressful

has anyone ever experienced this? How did you deal with this situation. My FI is thinking of selling his computer to raise some money, which makes sense, since i already have a laptop (really slow one, probably one inch from death at this point).

((( Stupid wedding venue... Arrgh!

 

[KimberlyH]

Come up with a budget first, then seek out venues and vendors that fit into what you are able to spend.

It''s not unusual for a vendor to ask for payment in parts (a deposit, another lump sum sometime prior to the event (I think ours was 30 days prior), then final payment the day before or day of). Did you sign a contract? What does it say? Wedding fees change often, depending on time of year, services required, and other factors.

 

[cindygenit]

Are we supposed to sign a contract first, and then pay the deposit? Or the other way around?

 

[CaliCushion]

It is very common for vendors to ask for a deposit and for certain percentages of the total bill as the wedding gets closer.

First: Due to the economy, I know a lot of venues are working with customers to lower prices, include extras in the price of the wedding or lower minimums. If you haven''t given your venue any money (it doesn''t seem like you have), try to find a lower priced venue and then try to get them to reduce the price even more.

Second: I''m sorry to say this, but if you can barely scrape by, you probably can''t afford to be spending on a $10,000+ wedding. You shouldn''t have to sell a computer to pay for your wedding. The last thing you want is to start off your marraige in debt, fighting over bills and figuring out how to make more money. I''d really suggest that you figure out a way to spend signifigantly less money on a wedding, hold off on the wedding until you have more money saved, or elope!

 

[cindygenit]

Calicushion,

I understand what you''re saying. My wedding is not till July next year, and i was under the impression that i didn''t need to pay another lump sump till a couple of months before the wedding date. Is it common for venues to ask for lump sumps one year in advance (in my case, 11 months in advance)?

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/6/2009 11:17:39 PM
Author: cindygenit
Calicushion,

I understand what you''re saying. My wedding is not till July next year, and i was under the impression that i didn''t need to pay another lump sump till a couple of months before the wedding date. Is it common for venues to ask for lump sumps one year in advance (in my case, 11 months in advance)?

Cindy, each venue can do whatever they want, but their payment schedule should be indicated in the contract. You definitely should look over thier contract and sign it BEFORE paying them any money. See if they will set up a better payment schedule with you.

Ours was a $1000 deposit, half the projected amount 6 months out, and final half the week before the wedding.

 

[Dannielle]

We also signed a contract when we paid our deposit. The deposit was $2000 and then the final amount 8 weeks before the wedding.

Have you signed anything yet? If you are not locked in it might be best to have a look around and see if you can find a venue that is a little less pricey.

 

[VRBeauty]

I can't address what's the norm for wedding venues, but I would be concerned if this venue changed their deposit policy just recently, and it concerns me that you're not sure what their policy is. Since your friend used this venue recently and the deposit policy has changed since then, I would ask the venue about the change. My concern is sparked by this old thread:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-my-parents-lost-20k-on-my-wedding-reception.95774/

in which a PS bride's venue declared bankruptcy somewhere between when she put down her deposit, and the scheduled date of her wedding.

Also, please give careful thought to the scale of your wedding if, as you wrote, you and your fiance are just making enough money to survive at the moment. Assuming that's you in your avatar

I realize that there are probably cultural expectations about the size of the wedding, but most of those expectations also include parents paying for the wedding. No matter what the culture, for a couple that's just starting out, trying to host the kind of wedding that their parents (in most cases) could afford to host is a recipe for financial trouble.

Please have a good heart-to-heart with your fiance about the type of wedding you want and need and can afford. Draw up a realistic budget according to your priorities. And then... get out there and bargain like heck

for prices and terms you can live with.

Good luck!

 

[cindygenit]

I contacted the owner and asked if he could arrange the contract straight away! I don't think the venue is pricey (it's $650 for the whole venue so i can use their atrium for the ceremony, the upstairs balcony for the pre-dinner drinks, and then the actual reception room for the reception itself). Do you think this price is expensive then? I thought it was quite reasonable, but if not i will shop around some more.

The owner also told me that with the venue hire, i get their wedding planner's service for free. We can have as much or as little extras as we like. They will do all the set ups for us on the day, so basically all we need to do is pay for flowers, bonboniere, etc that we might want in our wedding.

I really like the place, and i really like the owner as well. I HAVE to make it work somehow. I guess my FI and I need to tighten our belts. I think we can do it together, but i'm just upset that I have to fork out lump sums of money so soon.

VR beauty, thanks for your advice. I didn't make myself clear (i never do), my friend got married at a different venue, more upmarket than where my venue is. I guess they just have a better payment schedule. my FI and I decided to make the wedding small (50 ppl), because realistically, that's all we can afford right now.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Take a deep breath...it will be okay.

Every bride feels this "pinch"...weddings are a lot of money. The most important thing to do is to decide if you can actually afford this wedding, as it stands right now. Sometimes things sound good in the beginning, but when the money starts going out you realize that you cannot afford things exactly the way you want. This is the perfect time to reconsider, since not a lot of money has gone out. If you''re feeling overly stressed, thats the first sign that you need to sit down and plan it out down to the very last red cent.

 

[CaliCushion]

I''m very confused. Cindy, you originally said that the vendor wanted $650 now, and an additional $2000 within 30 days. Now it seems as if the venue only wants $650 total?

Also, what extras are you expecting from the wedding coordinator?

Please, get a contract and read it carefully. The venue does not have to provide you with anything that is not included in the contact. Anything that the venue owner may have verbally told you does not matter if it isn''t in the contact.

 

[cindygenit]

Sorry, i meant that the $650 is required ASAP to book the date for the venue. The $2000 is required within 30 days and will be credited towards our account because they will be providing the food and drinks as well. Once the guest list and food and drinks menu are finalised, they will calculate the total cost, and then i would be required to pay the balance just before the wedding day.

Like I said, i was just shocked that they wanted that lump sump so quickly. But as meresal pointed out, the venue can do whatever they want with regards to the payment plan.

Cheers

 

[cindygenit]

Here is the Terms and Conditions of my contract. Is there anything i should enquire about? Or is it pretty standard?

Terms & Conditions

The Management and Staff of the Forrest Centre Reception Centre are always endeavouring to make your event a complete success and we trust the following points will assist you to organise your function to ensure everything runs smoothly.

1. Tentative Bookings
All tentative bookings will be held for 7 days only. Should you wish to confirm your booking, a holding deposit will be required to confirm, otherwise the booking may be cancelled. A further payment of $2000 is required within 30 days after the initial deposit. These payments will be deducted from your final account but will not be refunded should you cancel the booking.
2. Final Numbers & Payment
Final numbers attending your function should be advised no later than 7 days prior to the event. This figure will then be considered as the minimum charged for and payment will be required no later than 7 days prior to your event. We are more than happy for you to use your credit cards when paying accounts, however, a surcharge of 4% will be incurred for use of Amex or Diners Cards and 2% for Visa and MasterCard’s.
3. Food & Beverages
No food and beverages may be brought into The Forrest Centre without prior approval of Management. The client is responsible for ensuring guests do not bring any food or beverage to the event or a surcharge may be incurred.
4. Damages
The Centre is always extremely careful when looking after people and their belongings; however, we cannot take responsibility for damage or loss of merchandise left on the premises, prior to, during or after the function. Unfortunately accidents do happen and we must specify
that any unnecessary damage to the Function Centre property during an event becomes the financial responsibility of the organiser.
5. Pricing
Prices are based on current costs and there may be cost increases due to increased costs to us including labour & commodities, any change in price will be advised in writing after your finalisation of details usually no later than four weeks prior to your function.
6. Public Holidays
Please enquire re our public holiday rate.
7. Cleaning
All cleaning reasonably associated with the normal running of a function is included in the room hire fee. However additional cleaning cost will be charged at $35.00 per hour for items such as the cleaning of candle wax from glassware, crockery, cutlery etc.
8. Conduct of Patrons
The Forrest Centre shall be entitled to remove any persons from the event whose behaviour in the opinion of Forrest Centre Management is objectionable, improper or undesirable. The Forrest Centre reserves the right of refusal of service to any guest deemed intoxicated as per State Liquor Licensing Laws.
9. Preferred Vendors
The Forrest Centre has preferred vendors when it comes to decorators supplying centrepieces, décor & flowers etc. You are welcome to provide your own but they must be approved by the Forrest Centre management and suppliers must adhere to Forrest Centre rules regarding pick up and delivery.

 

[jstarfireb]

Oh, so the $650 is the rental fee and the $2000 is the deposit toward the catering. My venue had a similar policy. Could you try to negotiate more of an installment plan for paying the catering deposit?

 

[cindygenit]

Yeah that''s right. I can try to negotiate an installment plan .

Do you think their terms and conditions are okay, jstar?

I don''t want to sign anything until i can get a second opinion from someone who''s already done this before.

 

[jstarfireb]

Date: 7/7/2009 1:05:09 AM
Author: cindygenit
Yeah that''s right. I can try to negotiate an installment plan .

Do you think their terms and conditions are okay, jstar?

I don''t want to sign anything until i can get a second opinion from someone who''s already done this before.

Well, I''m definitely not an expert on these things. But it looks pretty standard. The "no outside food" clause is disappointing, but common. I don''t see any red flags, but if you have a friend who''s a lawyer or law student, you could always have them look it over.

Mini-rant here that''s somewhat on topic...
Also ask if there''s a cake cutting fee. My venue had one...they''re normally instated to make you go with the vendor''s own cake rather than bring your own in...but my venue/caterer didn''t make their own cakes! So you HAD to bring your own in, and then you had to pay their stupid fee. Even if you had a cupcake fee that didn''t require any work from their wait staff, they charged the dang fee. So stupid. Lots of people say you can negotiate that away, but my venue wouldn''t budge. But I stuck with the venue because it was beautiful, reasonably priced, and pretty much what I wanted.

 

[CaliCushion]

I don''t have time for a long post, but really quickly...

I understand the fees for deposit. Is your venue also supplying the food and beverage? Since the contract states that no outside food or beverage may be brought in, I will assume so. What is the cost for that?

Two things I really dont like:

5. Pricing
Prices are based on current costs and there may be cost increases due to increased costs to us including labour & commodities, any change in price will be advised in writing after your finalisation of details usually no later than four weeks prior to your function.

This clause says that the venue can change the quoted prices at any time as long as they give you written notice. You said that you are on a tight budget. Can you take the change that your venue may increase prices 10% a month before your wedding? What about 30%? Because the contract states that they are allowed to do that, and they will not owe you any money or deposits back!

9. Preferred Vendors
The Forrest Centre has preferred vendors when it comes to decorators supplying centrepieces, décor & flowers etc. You are welcome to provide your own but they must be approved by the Forrest Centre management and suppliers must adhere to Forrest Centre rules regarding pick up and delivery.

This says that The Forrest Centre must approve all of your vendors. I would be afraid that this is a scam, and that The Forrest Cente is going to find a reason to not approve of vendors that aren''t already preferred vendors. In my contract, I was allowed to choose any vendors I wanted. My vendors had to have liability insurance and follow the hotel rules regarding pick up and delivery, but beyond that, I was allowed to use any vendor I wanted.

 

[cindygenit]

Date: 7/7/2009 1:35:32 AM
Author: jstarfireb

Date: 7/7/2009 1:05:09 AM
Author: cindygenit
Yeah that''s right. I can try to negotiate an installment plan .

Do you think their terms and conditions are okay, jstar?

I don''t want to sign anything until i can get a second opinion from someone who''s already done this before.

Well, I''m definitely not an expert on these things. But it looks pretty standard. The ''no outside food'' clause is disappointing, but common. I don''t see any red flags, but if you have a friend who''s a lawyer or law student, you could always have them look it over.

Mini-rant here that''s somewhat on topic...
Also ask if there''s a cake cutting fee. My venue had one...they''re normally instated to make you go with the vendor''s own cake rather than bring your own in...but my venue/caterer didn''t make their own cakes! So you HAD to bring your own in, and then you had to pay their stupid fee. Even if you had a cupcake fee that didn''t require any work from their wait staff, they charged the dang fee. So stupid. Lots of people say you can negotiate that away, but my venue wouldn''t budge. But I stuck with the venue because it was beautiful, reasonably priced, and pretty much what I wanted.

That is stupid.

Gosh, i just realised how much i don''t know about weddings. I should have written a post about "What questions to ask when selecting a venue/caterer etc?"

 

[cindygenit]

Calicushion,

Yes, they will be providing the catering as well. The cost of catering is dependent on the menu that i choose. I would have preferred a wedding package (just to make it easier for us), but this option is currently only available for bigger weddings (70 people minimum).

I didn''t think about the pricing and vendors policy before. Thank you for bringing it up. Will have to ask the owner about these issues further.

 

[cindygenit]

Ok Greg is so wonderful and replies to my pesky emails promptly eventhough he is "a one finger typer" as he puts it.

Hi Cindy,

I have a food increase once a year, normally in February. Over the last 5 years the increases have averages approx. $2-3 per person. Beverages are increased by the Govt. on the 1st of Feb. and 1st of August each year, so we pass that on at those times.
We have never refused a vendor/supplier, we just need to make it clear that they must abide by our drop off and pick up policy.

Cheers
Greg

I am 90% sure that i will be booking this venue. I am planning to send in my first payment tomorrow. If anyone else sees a reason for me to look for another venue, please chime in!!!

I am attaching pics of the reception room called the "Verandah room" and the "atrium" indoor outdoor setting where the ceremony will be held.

First off, the verandah room

 

[cindygenit]

ETA, it''s one picture showing the verandah room and the atrium set up. First one on the left is the verandah room, and the second and third are of the atrium.

Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom and reassurance. My FI has assured me that money will not be a problem anymore. In hindsight, i have to pay the $2000 deposit anyway, so there is no sense in worrying. I just have to save up! So that''s the venue and dress done!

 

[cindygenit]

oops

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Glad to hear you are getting this sorted Cindy! There''s nothing like a speed hump so soon into the planning.

 

[LilyKat]

Deleted post as I've seen you've already decided to go with the venue

 

[cindygenit]

Thanks hawaiaanorangetree... i was so silly to worry, there are NO problems that can''t be solved . I was gonna ask you if you think 650 is cheap for a venue hire, but then i remembered that you''re having your reception at home?

Thanks Lilykat for attempting to give me advice LOL

This forum is quickly becoming my favourite, everyone is so supportive and genuinely try to help out )

 

[laughwithme]

Beautiful venue, and so glad to hear you''re beginning to get things worked out. It definitely isn''t fun to have these sort of things come up unexpected

My reception will cost right around 10k, and my deposit (upon booking) was $800. The remainder is due 7 days before the wedding (we paid a pp amount, so its not like an open bar where the bill is calculated at the end of the night.) We have a contract so all of that is set in stone. I have noticed, however, that most venues/vendors will work with you and negotiate what works best for everyone.

The only way I can see to avoid similar situations in the future is just keep working at that savings - its so hard, just keep setting aside every bit you can. Good luck!!

 

[cindygenit]

Date: 7/7/2009 8:19:31 AM
Author: laughwithme
Beautiful venue, and so glad to hear you''re beginning to get things worked out. It definitely isn''t fun to have these sort of things come up unexpected

My reception will cost right around 10k, and my deposit (upon booking) was $800. The remainder is due 7 days before the wedding (we paid a pp amount, so its not like an open bar where the bill is calculated at the end of the night.) We have a contract so all of that is set in stone. I have noticed, however, that most venues/vendors will work with you and negotiate what works best for everyone.


The only way I can see to avoid similar situations in the future is just keep working at that savings - its so hard, just keep setting aside every bit you can. Good luck!!

thanks!

I think my mistake was assuming that all venues have the same or similar policies and expected to have the time to come up with decent money to pay for the wedding closer to the date.

My venue''s policy is the same as yours. I have to pay 7 days before the D-day at the very latest. Yeah thanks i will try harder to save. My aim from the very beginning was to pay for the wedding expenses and still have enough money for emergencies.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 7/7/2009 1:39:18 AM
Author: CaliCushion
Two things I really dont like:

5. Pricing
Prices are based on current costs and there may be cost increases due to increased costs to us including labour & commodities, any change in price will be advised in writing after your finalisation of details usually no later than four weeks prior to your function.


This clause says that the venue can change the quoted prices at any time as long as they give you written notice. You said that you are on a tight budget. Can you take the change that your venue may increase prices 10% a month before your wedding? What about 30%? Because the contract states that they are allowed to do that, and they will not owe you any money or deposits back!

9. Preferred Vendors
The Forrest Centre has preferred vendors when it comes to decorators supplying centrepieces, décor & flowers etc. You are welcome to provide your own but they must be approved by the Forrest Centre management and suppliers must adhere to Forrest Centre rules regarding pick up and delivery.

This says that The Forrest Centre must approve all of your vendors. I would be afraid that this is a scam, and that The Forrest Cente is going to find a reason to not approve of vendors that aren''t already preferred vendors. In my contract, I was allowed to choose any vendors I wanted. My vendors had to have liability insurance and follow the hotel rules regarding pick up and delivery, but beyond that, I was allowed to use any vendor I wanted.

It''s pretty common for venues to have an approved vendor list that people are allowed to work with. I think only one of the sites we looked at didn''t have an approved vendor clause in their contract.

 

[jstarfireb]

Yeah, as I understand it, the pricing and preferred vendors clauses are pretty standard and wouldn''t be a reason to ditch the venue. Cindy, the venue looks gorgeous!

BTW, in my earlier post, I meant to say "cupcake tree" rather than "cupcake fee." All that talk about fees made me discombobulated!

 

[CaliCushion]

If you''ve got it all figured out, that''s great! And now you know to budgest a few extra dollars p.p. for prices increases.