need your opinions...not engagement related but still important

[emilina22]

ok so like i said in my last thread M came home early from indiana last night! great surprise!! and he started talking about what we would be getting people for christmas since were doing our shopping today, and hes like what would you think if we gave my brother B your current ring?

my promise ring means alot to me becasue he got it when he had like no money and we were back in highschool, its a .495 RB with .20ish pears on the side, sure its not the greatest quality but its special,and its been ours.

the reason i guess he thought of this was becasue last night his brother B was over and he showed him my Ering, which compared to my promise ring is a monster, and his brother was like "i was never able to get R a diamond ERing, and shes always wanted one" and well thats where the whole "em what if we give him yours for christmas" idea came up.

i know its a nice gesture but, were not even engaged yet, and he wants to just give this one away.... the idea is nice that we would be keeping it in the family, but i dunno its just a bit different, i mean me and B''s wife arent super close and i dunno...

what do you think? opinions?

 

[mimzy]

i think it is sweet of your boyfriend.....but i''d definitely say not a chance! not only is the ring really special to you, but do you think your future sister in law would really be excited to get your old promise ring? would his brother even accept the gift? it''s really giving somebody something that means the world to you knowing that they won''t appreciate it like you do. maybe you could offer to help your FBIL to help him find one for what he can afford...?

i''m sure your boyfriend will understand

 

[bee*]

I wouldn''t give it to his brother either. Plus R mightn''t like it if she heard that she was getting a second hand diamond either.

 

[princesss]

It''s a sweet thought that M wants to help his brother, but I''d say no way. I''m super sentimental, and would a) want to keep my ring to always remember, and b) wouldn''t want a ring attached to somebody else''s relationship (if I knew them). I mean, she''s probably seen it on your finger, right? That would be awkward...plus you''d probably always wish you could have it back. So I''d say no.

 

[gwendolyn]

I agree with the ladies who''ve spoken up already. It''s a sweet thought to try to help out his brother, but that ring is very special to you. You should keep it.

 

[Rhea]

The idea is sweet but I''d keep it if you want to. His brother could always find an inexpensive diamond ring if that''s what he''s wanting to do. Even if we can''t afford a 1/2 carat solitaire then there''s always a small diamond band or a 2nd hand piece from Signed Pieces or Pearlman''s.

 

[iheartscience]

Nope, keep it! It''s yours and it has special memories attached to it. There''s no way you should give it up! His brother could get a $100 or $200 ring if he really wanted a promise ring.

 

[Deelight]

Nope it is yours keep it

The brother can always buy a ring for his GF himself

 

[mirre]

It really says a lot about your bf that he would offer it to his bother... a very sweet and generous thought. BUT I agree with the other ladies, I wouldn't offer it to him. Maybe suggest to your bf that he and his brother go ring shopping together for R to find her something special and if he can't afford much maybe just a little something until he can get something better later. But if you tell bf that you want to keep your promise ring be sure that you explain the sentimental value of it. Other than how R would feel about having YOUR promise ring think of how you would feel each time you saw her with it. I would think that unless I was 100% sure I wanted to give it to Brother and R that each time I saw it I would be upset all over again. Just my opinion though. Good Luck! Let us know.

(I know to some people it may seem a little impersonal but in this situation since your BF is wanting to give B a ring for R would it be possible to give B money instead of a physical gift in order to help him get a ring for R?)