Begonia
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2011
- Messages
- 3,566
So part two to be "intimidated" at work. I appled for a new job and got accepted. There's good and bad tho.
Two years ago I attempted this job under medical accommodation due to my dodgy back and hips. HR agreed to it after some negotiaton. It didn't turn out well and I returned a few weeks later to my current job.
I'd asked to be trained alone in the slower season or with someone my age, as there is a lot of computer work figuring out fares, routes, payments etc. They waited until the busy season and put me with an 18 year old computer whiz, who was sick, and promptly made me sick.
The casuals (junior to me) in that area were annoyed that I'd "parachuted in" under accommodation and let me know it. One was my trainer and one was my clearer (all day performance test). There was some sabotage by one.
My anxiety was heavily triggered and I did not perform at my best. I missed some key points during clearance (policy stuff, not keying in routes) and my clearer failed me. The training manager did not want to fail me but my clearer convinced him to fail me, on my birthday no less.
Now failing is not viewed badly by HR. Remedial training is ordered and you get another day of training and try again. I was going to be furthered trained by another junior casual and elected to back out and go back to my old job. I should have persevered but I panicked about losing my old job and not being successful in the new job.
This time, the job was posted and I was awarded it fair and square. I hemmed and hawed about applying but around here, you apply first and think later. You can always turn it down. I did not expect to get it, as many senior people ahead of me also applied and I can only assume they turned it down. The call came Friday and I had the weekend to think about it.
My current job is very physical and triggers my chronic pain. I spend a lot of money on physio (mainly getting Shockwave treatment) and injections from the pain clinic (we're doing prolotherapy right now). This new job is more sedentary with reduced chance of injury. I'll have to be careful of sitting and use the standing desk tho, and using every opportunity to move around.
The retrain and clearance day are inevitable, but they say they will "train for success". I'm still nervous as heck after the last experience. I'd never failed an exam before the first attempt. Struggling with anxiety, ADHD and CPTSD has made learning difficult over the years but my brain has always served me well (at great cost however).
This is likely a one-way trip. My old boss may quickly try to fill the position with someone younger. I'm feeling very vulnerable about that, but logically I'm one injury away from being forced out of that job, facing early retirement. I can't afford retirement right now.
Doing lots of meditation, self care and breathwork to try to help my spiking anxiety. Interestingly a cup of chamomile tea gave me some relief last night.
.
Two years ago I attempted this job under medical accommodation due to my dodgy back and hips. HR agreed to it after some negotiaton. It didn't turn out well and I returned a few weeks later to my current job.
I'd asked to be trained alone in the slower season or with someone my age, as there is a lot of computer work figuring out fares, routes, payments etc. They waited until the busy season and put me with an 18 year old computer whiz, who was sick, and promptly made me sick.
The casuals (junior to me) in that area were annoyed that I'd "parachuted in" under accommodation and let me know it. One was my trainer and one was my clearer (all day performance test). There was some sabotage by one.
My anxiety was heavily triggered and I did not perform at my best. I missed some key points during clearance (policy stuff, not keying in routes) and my clearer failed me. The training manager did not want to fail me but my clearer convinced him to fail me, on my birthday no less.
Now failing is not viewed badly by HR. Remedial training is ordered and you get another day of training and try again. I was going to be furthered trained by another junior casual and elected to back out and go back to my old job. I should have persevered but I panicked about losing my old job and not being successful in the new job.
This time, the job was posted and I was awarded it fair and square. I hemmed and hawed about applying but around here, you apply first and think later. You can always turn it down. I did not expect to get it, as many senior people ahead of me also applied and I can only assume they turned it down. The call came Friday and I had the weekend to think about it.
My current job is very physical and triggers my chronic pain. I spend a lot of money on physio (mainly getting Shockwave treatment) and injections from the pain clinic (we're doing prolotherapy right now). This new job is more sedentary with reduced chance of injury. I'll have to be careful of sitting and use the standing desk tho, and using every opportunity to move around.
The retrain and clearance day are inevitable, but they say they will "train for success". I'm still nervous as heck after the last experience. I'd never failed an exam before the first attempt. Struggling with anxiety, ADHD and CPTSD has made learning difficult over the years but my brain has always served me well (at great cost however).
This is likely a one-way trip. My old boss may quickly try to fill the position with someone younger. I'm feeling very vulnerable about that, but logically I'm one injury away from being forced out of that job, facing early retirement. I can't afford retirement right now.
Doing lots of meditation, self care and breathwork to try to help my spiking anxiety. Interestingly a cup of chamomile tea gave me some relief last night.
.
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