Not loupe-ing jewelry (i.e. ignorance is bliss)

[Kim N]

I have a couple pieces of jewelry with softer stones where I struggle not to loupe the stones for damage. It pains the OCD in me to see the damage. I know where I want to get to mentally: ignorance is bliss, and the jewelry is no good sitting in a drawer—wear it and enjoy it. The trouble is getting there.

Anyone have helpful thoughts on this?

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Haha if you think about when you die, and the people you leave your jewelry to might just chuck it around, or leave it somewhere, or it ends up in some random shop........ Might as well just enjoy it now!

That's how I think. My son loves gems and so does my sister. They'll get the bulk of my stuff but who ultimately knows where all this stuff will end up!

 

[diamondyes]

Are you a perfectionist like I am?

 

[Mrsz1ppy]

It sucks. My avatar Kashmir sapphire has wear abrasions from 18 months of wear. I love colored stones, but hate the anxiety repolishing causes. Haven’t figured this one out yet. Will watch this thread.

 

[MissGotRocks]

That's a tough one and I feel for you! I have never been a 'throw caution to the wind' person so not sure how you rearrange your thinking to wear without worry.

I guess you just have to re-train your thoughts. Put it on, wear it, take it off and put it away without louping it. If there was a little scratch, it wouldn't make sense to immediately get it polished out as it might happen the next time you wear it.

Would having them insured make you feel better about any possible damage?

 

[icy_jade]

Buy a new handphone or electronic device and you probably have to chuck it within 5 years max. Same for most clothes, shoes, cosmetics or any number of things you are using… So it is ok if not all blings survive forever or stay pristine. Of course I hope they will survive me and stay beautiful but if they don’t, well, the reality is that nothing lasts forever.

 

[kenny]

I wear only one diamond ring.
It's very important to me it stays squeaky clean so it can do its magic light show.
This is why it gets cleaned daily and looped often.

 

[marymm]

It comes down to -- do you *really* want to wear it often and take pleasure in wearing your jewelry regularly and enjoy it being a part of who you are in your day-to-day life?

Or, do you want to preserve it as an artifact, a treasure, worn very rarely and then carefully louped and put away (or sent out for repair/service)?

A piece of jewelry you never/rarely wear can be appreciated and treasured -- but IMO the pieces I freely reach for and regularly wear are my most beloved and cherished -- and as much as I wear them for my own enjoyment, some of them are also recognized in my circle as my own signature pieces, a part of me and how I present myself in the world ... I really like that.

I do get what you're saying -- save the best for special, preserve the quality, take care with soft stones or delicate settings -- but I get one life, this is it, and if I don't wear my pieces now and get good use and enjoyment out of them, what's the purpose of my collection and my creations? So ... once return periods have lapsed, I put away the loupe unless I have a good reason to pull it out (smashing a ring, feeling a divot or scratch with my finger, noticing a loose stone in a setting).

But, I'll admit, I like it when my shoes become a bit worn, when the fabric of my cotton clothes and sheets become softened, when stiff new things become a bit more relaxed and comfortable.

If you prefer things to be more perfect and like-new, then making inspecting your pieces after you wear them a planned and welcome part of your jewelry-wearing ritual -- and take the time to find/cultivate a trusted local jeweler/benchperson who is your ally in keeping your jewelry pieces as you want them.

 

[Kim N]

Haha if you think about when you die, and the people you leave your jewelry to might just chuck it around, or leave it somewhere, or it ends up in some random shop........ Might as well just enjoy it now!

That's how I think. My son loves gems and so does my sister. They'll get the bulk of my stuff but who ultimately knows where all this stuff will end up!

That is so true and a good way to think about it.

Are you a perfectionist like I am?

Yes, although not with everything. I'm worse when I know that I caused the damage.

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

Hahahahaha I have a sphene ring and I inwardly cringe every time I put my hand in my purse. I clean it gently and definitely do not loupe it. I read somewhere than even the silicone in dust can scratch sphene, so it has its own little ring box.

 

[Kim N]

It sucks. My avatar Kashmir sapphire has wear abrasions from 18 months of wear. I love colored stones, but hate the anxiety repolishing causes. Haven’t figured this one out yet. Will watch this thread.

It's so helpful to know I'm not alone with these feelings, Mrsz1ppy.

That's a tough one and I feel for you! I have never been a 'throw caution to the wind' person so not sure how you rearrange your thinking to wear without worry.

I guess you just have to re-train your thoughts. Put it on, wear it, take it off and put it away without louping it. If there was a little scratch, it wouldn't make sense to immediately get it polished out as it might happen the next time you wear it.

Would having them insured make you feel better about any possible damage?

Yes, it's the re-training of my thoughts not to loupe them that's been difficult. And you're completely right that it wouldn't make sense to get small scratches polished out because I'd likely cause new damage the next time. Not to mention losing material during each polish. I'm trying to wait as long as possible—ideally not until they're obviously scratched to the naked eye—before getting them polished. My threshold for insuring is quite high, higher than these pieces are valued at.

Buy a new handphone or electronic device and you probably have to chuck it within 5 years max. Same for most clothes, shoes, cosmetics or any number of things you are using… So it is ok if not all blings survive forever or stay pristine. Of course I hope they will survive me and stay beautiful but if they don’t, well, the reality is that nothing lasts forever.

I guess the difference is that jewelry can be considered heirloom-worthy whereas the other things usually aren't. But that is a very good point that nothing lasts forever.

I wear only one diamond ring.
It's very important to me it stays squeaky clean so it can do its magic light show.
This is why it gets cleaned daily and looped often.

I agree about the cleaning. Keeping them clean isn't the issue; it's that these are softer stones than diamonds and more prone to damage during wear.

 

[Kim N]

It comes down to -- do you *really* want to wear it often and take pleasure in wearing your jewelry regularly and enjoy it being a part of who you are in your day-to-day life?

Or, do you want to preserve it as an artifact, a treasure, worn very rarely and then carefully louped and put away (or sent out for repair/service)?

A piece of jewelry you never/rarely wear can be appreciated and treasured -- but IMO the pieces I freely reach for and regularly wear are my most beloved and cherished -- and as much as I wear them for my own enjoyment, some of them are also recognized in my circle as my own signature pieces, a part of me and how I present myself in the world ... I really like that.

I do get what you're saying -- save the best for special, preserve the quality, take care with soft stones or delicate settings -- but I get one life, this is it, and if I don't wear my pieces now and get good use and enjoyment out of them, what's the purpose of my collection and my creations? So ... once return periods have lapsed, I put away the loupe unless I have a good reason to pull it out (smashing a ring, feeling a divot or scratch with my finger, noticing a loose stone in a setting).

But, I'll admit, I like it when my shoes become a bit worn, when the fabric of my cotton clothes and sheets become softened, when stiff new things become a bit more relaxed and comfortable.

If you prefer things to be more perfect and like-new, then making inspecting your pieces after you wear them a planned and welcome part of your jewelry-wearing ritual -- and take the time to find/cultivate a trusted local jeweler/benchperson who is your ally in keeping your jewelry pieces as you want them.

I found myself nodding at every point you made, marymm. Thank you for sharing these perspectives. I love what you said about the pieces you wear regularly being your most cherished and becoming signature pieces that you are known for.

 

[momofive]

I clean my diamonds almost daily, but don't loupe them often. I would say, maybe set a repeating alarm on your phone and loupe them every 1-2-3 months (or whatever your tolerance is). But otherwise enjoy them. I do enjoy my jewelry, and I consider myself a perfectionist within reason.
We built a house at the beach last year. Whenever I leave it, I make sure everything is put away and perfect, but when the kids and grandkids are here, I let things go (until they leave!). I want them to enjoy the house. Thats my analogy.

 

[Kim N]

Hahahahaha I have a sphene ring and I inwardly cringe every time I put my hand in my purse. I clean it gently and definitely do not loupe it. I read somewhere than even the silicone in dust can scratch sphene, so it has its own little ring box.

I didn't realize sphene was so soft; that would make me cringe too. I feel like I'm so careful when I wear these items, but obviously not careful enough.

I clean my diamonds almost daily, but don't loupe them often. I would say, maybe set a repeating alarm on your phone and loupe them every 1-2-3 months (or whatever your tolerance is). But otherwise enjoy them. I do enjoy my jewelry, and I consider myself a perfectionist within reason.
We built a house at the beach last year. Whenever I leave it, I make sure everything is put away and perfect, but when the kids and grandkids are here, I let things go (until they leave!). I want them to enjoy the house. Thats my analogy.

I would love to loupe them only once every two months. I'm going to try this. And that's a nice analogy, momofive.

 

[LilAlex]

It sucks. My avatar Kashmir sapphire has wear abrasions from 18 months of wear. I love colored stones, but hate the anxiety repolishing causes. Haven’t figured this one out yet. Will watch this thread.

Don't re-polish. Buy more rings to wear in rotation. Seriously. And you are still in the sweet spot for doing this -- before it gets readily noticeable.

We have a very similar sapphire -- not Kashmir but a fairly dead ringer from a long time ago. I have written about this a lot here. Lost a prong after a decade of hard daily wear and it was quite abraded by then (and from the previous 90 years of wear by someone else). Very savvy jeweler insisted that we polish it since the stone would "be out of the mounting for the first time in a century." We relented. It now has a much more "new jewelry" feel that neither of us love as much; I think all the micro scratches and abrasions added to the glow and we had grown accustomed to that.

EDIT: I loupe every new thing. I never loupe things we already own -- well, not the stones, anyway.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I don’t loupe any of my jewelry. Put a recent ruby purchase under a microscope because I was trying to see if there were any inclusions that would indicate natural or lab. It is an old ring, so obviously a lot of indications of age and yes, it is a bit jarring to see, but that’s all part of the history. Obviously, a different bag if you aren’t talking vintage and antique, there are perhaps higher expectations of a new piece or a piece that has only had one owner vs maybe 50.

Maybe this is why I stick to the old stuff, it is easier to accept damage done previous to me owning it vs damage only I could have done.

 

[diamondyes]

Don't re-polish. Buy more rings to wear in rotation. Seriously. And you are still in the sweet spot for doing this -- before it gets readily noticeable.

We have a very similar sapphire -- not Kashmir but a fairly dead ringer from a long time ago. I have written about this a lot here. Lost a prong after a decade of hard daily wear and it was quite abraded by then (and from the previous 90 years of wear by someone else). Very savvy jeweler insisted that we polish it since the stone would "be out of the mounting for the first time in a century." We relented. It now has a much more "new jewelry" feel that neither of us love as much; I think all the micro scratches and abrasions added to the glow and we had grown accustomed to that.

EDIT: I loupe every new thing. I never loupe things we already own -- well, not the stones, anyway.

Bahahhaa your advice is so quintessential “Pricescope” and I absolutely love it.

 

[Mrsz1ppy]

Don't re-polish. Buy more rings to wear in rotation. Seriously. And you are still in the sweet spot for doing this -- before it gets readily noticeable.

We have a very similar sapphire -- not Kashmir but a fairly dead ringer from a long time ago. I have written about this a lot here. Lost a prong after a decade of hard daily wear and it was quite abraded by then (and from the previous 90 years of wear by someone else). Very savvy jeweler insisted that we polish it since the stone would "be out of the mounting for the first time in a century." We relented. It now has a much more "new jewelry" feel that neither of us love as much; I think all the micro scratches and abrasions added to the glow and we had grown accustomed to that.

EDIT: I loupe every new thing. I never loupe things we already own -- well, not the stones, anyway.

Actually, you are spot on! That is what I decided, more rings and rotate. But I love wearing them, so now I am really careful about taking them off when I am doing chores around the house.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

I'm of the same mindset and haven't been able to get over it. I don't even wear my gemstone rings because I am afraid of damaging them. I know I can't replace the spinels. One day I am going to let go and sell them because I can't overcome the hurdle.

 

[LilAlex]

One day I am going to let go and sell them because I can't overcome the hurdle.

Nooooooooooo! Just wear it sparingly. Or don't wear it and consider it art. Plenty of us do that. The first "nice" thing I got my spouse was (in retrospect) too fragile and impractical for our lifestyle. It still makes me smile when I think about it, though, and even more when I look at it. Our kids call me Smaug when I buy something and don't wear it.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Nope. No louping for me! (I'm lazy to even clean my rings....LOL) I just look at them and sing lalalalalalaaa....

cheers--Sharon

 

[Lookinagain]

I don't loupe my things, unless I feel that a prong may be broken. I don't even loupe them when I first get them. If they look good to my eyes (with my glasses on) I'm happy. Why find things that I cannot see without a microscopic view? It would just make me unhappy.

 

[pearlsngems]

I only loupe to check whether I got my stones clean enough with my jewelry cleaner and brush.

 

[doberman]

All I know is that I've had (or have) diamonds that ranged from SI1 to VVS1. They were indistinguishable to the naked eye, and my naked eye is pretty good.

I may loupe a stone after cleaning it, to see if I got everything.

 

[Rfisher]

Not sure if this is helpful

I have different standards for different things.
I can wear something that I know will inevitably show wear - and be ok with it because of the enjoyment in the wearing of it.
Other pieces I have the enjoyment of simply owning it, squirreling it away, and looking at it every now and then.

It just depends. I couldn’t train myself to fully commit one way or the other to all pieces.