Not REALLY engaged yet

[snlee]

Just wanted to clarify. Yes, I am wearing a diamond ring on my left ring finger. However, I'm not officially engaged yet. I haven't said anything for a while because lots of you are engaged already and don't have a ring yet. Here I am with a ring but not really officially engaged! If it were up to me I'd be officially engaged but I'm not!

Here's what happened. November of 2002, my bf surprised me by taking me to a jewelry store and said he'd buy me diamond ring. Instead of getting a diamond band I picked out my current setting and put in a pretty inexpensive diamond. Originally I wore it on my right finger (size 3) but I didn't like it there. It bothered me when I wrote. So I switched it to me left finger (size 3.5). Weird that my left finger is larger than my right even though I'm right handed. Anyways, I ended up getting the ring resized to a 3.5 and it's been on my left finger since then. I also ended up getting some diamond upgrades along the way. July of 2003 and November 2004.

We've been together since May 2000 and have talked about marriage many many times. We both know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We even picked out a wedding date for fun a long time ago- August 5, 2006. We weren't sure if that date was realistic up until a little while ago. We both don't want to rush into things since we are still young.

My November 2004 upgrade is the diamond I want to keep for a long long long time. I'm very happy with it. I originally thought that if he bought me an expensive diamond upgrade, THIS would be my REAL e-ring, and he'd finally REALLY propose to me. Well, I was wrong!! He bought me a ring and said he didn't want to ask just yet.

What is wrong with him!? Who buys a ring and doesn't propose! At first he wanted to wait to get married after he finishes grad school (February 2007). But I told him you could get married and still go to school. It's not like we plan on having kids while he's in school. So then he said he didn't want to be engaged for that long. A year at the most. He's told me many times that I'm the one but he still doesn't want to officially be engaged. Maybe because his parents think he's too young? I don't know... and I don't want to rush him and pressure him into it.

We have been looking to buy a condo the last couple of months. We will be moving in together as soon as we are able to buy a place. We've come to an agreement that soon after moving in he will propose. It's about time. =P Time flies by and it's already 1.5 years till our potential wedding date.

Thinking back, I do wish I bought a diamond band instead of a ring that looks like a e-ring and getting asked a million times if I'm engaged. Sorry this is so long but I wanted to let everyone know my current status. I'm sort of still waiting!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Well, congrats on the diamond but I understand the frustration. I think that until the whole thing (proposal AND ring) is there, it just won''t feel right to me, but then I know there are lots of people in the opposite situation as you - engaged but no ring. IMHO, I think that you definitely qualify as a LIW, and I can''t wait to hear your proposal story (although I have forbidden myself from reading that section of PS until me and my bf are officially engaged, because I don''t want to have any expectations for what his proposal will be like).

Welcome to the wait

 

[snlee]

forbidden myself from reading that section of PS until me and my bf are officially engaged

I could never do that! I look at "show my the ring" just to see the bling. I agree though, I usually don''t read everyone''s proposal stories for the same reason as you.

I told myself I''m cut back on PS for the new year. But I can''t help myself! Still addicted as ever!

 

[appletini]

Well it sounds to me like you have an amazing promise ring then. That is wierd though, kind of like putting the cart before the horse. But do people ask you all the time if you are engaged since you wear the ring on that finger?

 

[snlee]

appletini- Yeah, it''s not something I would recommend doing. People do ask me if I''m engaged pretty often. In hindsight, I''d rather have had my bf buy me a diamond band then get this e-ring later. But can''t change it now. I''ve told my bf I should stop wearing it until he really asks me. But then I feel like I''m wasting the ring and not enjoying it. He already paid so much money for it!

 

[fountainfairfax]

ok, the different ways we get teased (or tortured) never ceases to amaze me! we have a p.s.er whose bf has had the ring for 10 months but hasn''t given it to her & proposed and now we have someone whose bf bought her the ring, gave it to her, upgraded it and still no proposal?! MEN

I think it''s funny that it does disprove the saying "diamonds...that''ll shut her up"

although it will be difficult, I would either switch it back to the other hand, start wearing it on a chain around my neck or just put it away and as I make one of the above changes just tell him that you appreciate and love your ring but didn''t realize that it would make you feel like you were "playing engaged" and that you don''t want to just pretend anymore....and then I''d make him buy the 4-stone ring from facets

 

[blue_chica]

Wow, that''s odd, haven''t heard that one before! I definitely think you qualify for FLIW, so welcome.

I too would put it away, it would drive me nuts to have people keep asking and have to explain!

 

[icekid]

well... at least you get to have your ring to hold you over during the wait! hehe

 

[snlee]

fountainfairfax, he know how many times I''ve been asked if I''m engaged and am now "playing engaged" as you put it. And he knows I don''t want to just pretend anymore! I''ve said I wouldn''t wear the ring until he really proposes a couple times but that''s easier said than done!!

But maybe I should. I''m thinking about it. Then in a couple of month (I hope!) when he does propose I''ll get to put the ring back on my finger and it''ll be a lot bigger and meaningful!

Regarding the 4 stone ring from facets...I''m working on it!

He at least knows what facets is now. Hehe. And our 5 year anniversary is coming up soon.

Blue Chica, having people ask me and explaining isn''t such a big deal anymore since I''ve had it for so long. I''ve already graduated and am working and not meeting that many new people nowadays so I haven''t been asked recently.

icekid, maybe I should give the ring back to him and have him hold onto it. Thinking about it....

 

[jennyann2]

i would give it back and let him present it to you all over again! it might speed things up too, if you are walking around with nothing that shows you are taken.