Not so typical bachelor party problem ..

[MommaChristine]

The majority of my friends are guys. FI's groomsmen are my best friends too, and I have my 3 close girlfriends (plus a bridesman) on my side. Anyways, FI's side planned his bachelor party one night while FI and I were in the hospital (I had to get my gallbladder removed

). I had no idea that the groom wasn't supposed to be included in any of the plans so when I asked about it FI didn't know anything so I asked the BM one night while we were all hanging out and he informed me that the party started Friday night and would go until Saturday night. Okay .. great. I needed to know that to know which ONE night to plan my bachelorette party so this was kind of suprising to me. I said something to FI about and he talked to his BM and one of his GM about it telling them that he couldn't do that. We own our own business and Saturday is a huge day for us .. not a day either of us can take off to party. Neither of them took him seriously and told him that they'd find someone to work for him, that this was his last weekend as a bachelor and that he IS going to be there. Seriously? FI tried to put his foot down but no one seems to listen to a word he's saying .. it's now gotten to the point where FI just isn't going to show up. I also remember a few weeks ago they were set on hiring a stripper which I'm ok with but FI said no because he works nights at a strip club and wouldn't feel comfortable with a random stripper that he doesn't know. I'm pretty sure they decided to go with this idea anyways as none of them will tell FI what they've planned .. and no one has even asked him who he wants invited! Let me also clear up that I've had no part in FI's decision to say no.

Is this just me or is this a respect issue going on?! It seems to me that they should listen and hear what he has to say .. he's the GROOM! Does anyone know how we should handle this? FI tries to put his foot down but he's a big softie so he just lets the issue go after a while so any help is appreciated .. especially since this is next weekend!

 

[LilyKat]

You are right, there IS a respect issue going on here. Maybe they think he''s just joking, but their attitude is terrible.

It''s really up to your fiance how to handle this. If he is serious, he needs to make sure they know this, and that he will not be attending if they continue to disregard his wishes.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

It sounds to me as though they have organised this whole thing for themselves with the ''excuse'' of it being someones batchelor party. It doesn''t seem to me that they have even taken your FI''s into consideration... i mean he works at a strip club, what fun did they think he was going to get out of having a stripper at his own party when he relates it to work anyway?

Hmm i guess there isn''t much he can do, just not turn up i guess.. and maybe invite a few friends out to celebrate in a way that he chooses to?

BTW, hope you are feeling better after getting your Gallbladder removed... been there done that and it isn''t fun!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 7/16/2009 8:06:11 AM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
It sounds to me as though they have organised this whole thing for themselves with the 'excuse' of it being someones batchelor party. It doesn't seem to me that they have even taken your FI's into consideration... i mean he works at a strip club, what fun did they think he was going to get out of having a stripper at his own party when he relates it to work anyway?

Hmm i guess there isn't much he can do, just not turn up i guess.. and maybe invite a few friends out to celebrate in a way that he chooses to?

BTW, hope you are feeling better after getting your Gallbladder removed... been there done that and it isn't fun!

I agree that his friends sound rather selfish but I guess they're just getting carried away with the whole 'batchelor party thing'

Personally, I didn't want a stripper at my batchelorette party (in fact I didn't want a party) so I just made it very clear to my MOH that I didn't want it

! I know my MOH wants a stripper for her party, which is fiine but she wrongly assumed I wanted one too.

I hope he can resolve the situation as it would be a shame for him not to go and could cause upset which nobody needs ahead of your wedding.

 

[SassyB]

Date: 7/16/2009 8:06:11 AM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
It sounds to me as though they have organised this whole thing for themselves with the ''excuse'' of it being someones batchelor party. It doesn''t seem to me that they have even taken your FI''s into consideration... i mean he works at a strip club, what fun did they think he was going to get out of having a stripper at his own party when he relates it to work anyway?

Hmm i guess there isn''t much he can do, just not turn up i guess.. and maybe invite a few friends out to celebrate in a way that he chooses to?

BTW, hope you are feeling better after getting your Gallbladder removed... been there done that and it isn''t fun!

I totally agree! Maybe your FI needs to be more vocal (althought maybe he has!) about what HE wants.

I''m so sorry you even have to worry about something so juvinile!