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NYT OpEd, Ethics of telling finance whether diamond is natural or LG

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yes thank you Kenny, it works
 
Interesting read, I would be absolutely ticked if my husband did that to me. This guy should figure out which of the 4 C’s are most important to her and figure out how he can get the best natural diamond within his budget.
 
Wow. All the alarm bells. Fundamental faults in the foundation.
I agree, whether you choose earth or lab isn't the issue. Deception? Is.
If you don't have honesty, good communication and clear expectations, why marry?
If you don't want to buy the diamond, then say that. Collectively agree to an alternative. If a marriage is wholly conditional on rock quality it's not going to survive in any event. I would think it a bit insulting that one partner insinuates the other so unreasonable as to not discuss the matter, while clearly broadcasting that they are willing to use deception to facilitate their own advantageous outcome.
Gives me the ick, as the kids say.
 
ItsMainelyYou said:
Wow. All the alarm bells. Fundamental faults in the foundation.
I agree, whether you choose earth or lab isn't the issue. Deception? Is.
If you don't have honesty, good communication and clear expectations, why marry?
If you don't want to buy the diamond, then say that. Collectively agree to an alternative. If a marriage is wholly conditional on rock quality it's not going to survive in any event. I would think it a bit insulting that one partner insinuates the other so unreasonable as to not discuss the matter, while clearly broadcasting that they are willing to use deception to facilitate their own advantageous outcome.
Gives me the ick, as the kids say.
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Yea, she’s set on a natural diamond and he’s willing to give her a lab and lie about it. That’s crazy.

I’ve seen guys eat ramen for a couple months to give his girl a ring she would love.
One of my bosses was making less than 40K a year when he met his wife and he spent 10K on her rings. I wouldn’t suggest that to anyone but when I asked him why he spent so much when he wasn’t making a lot he said “ because I knew she was worth it” now he’s a six figure earner.
 
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I have not read the article, just wanted to say knowingly go against his future wife's wish to have a earth-mined diamond and gives her a LGD instead is deception.

What else would he lie to her in future?!

DK :roll2:
 
Oh good grief. What a recipe for disaster. Glad the NYT person called that out. Starting with dishonesty is really bad.
 
He sounds like a real catch - not!!! Wouldn't it be better to share the budget with her so she knows what it can buy? Or is it a case of him having the money for what she wants but just not willing to spend it?
 
MissGotRocks said:
He sounds like a real catch - not!!! Wouldn't it be better to share the budget with her so she knows what it can buy? Or is it a case of him having the money for what she wants but just not willing to spend it?
Click to expand...

It could also be a case where she expects him to pony up for an unrealistic (for his budget) sized diamond. A discussion should be had, and some window shopping done together, so both parties are aware of what costs $x amount. Then if she wants bigger, let her contribute.

My daughter has a friend who once remarked upon a mutual friends e-ring, that if her husband had proposed with a diamond that size (I forget exactly what the size was, but think it was just under a carat,) she would have had second thoughts about marrying her now-husband. Also not a great start to a partnership!
 
I realize I'm just reiterating the general consensus here, but starting off a marriage with deception is a terrible idea.

I get it - my mother and I have very different opinions on lab vs. earth grown gemstones. She is in the natural or nothing camp, and I'm in the whatever fits the budget and aesthetics I'm going for camp.

So, I'd never in a million years buy my mother lab grown gemstones of any variety (unless it's a costume piece), because a gift is about the recipient and their wishes.

If her dream rock is just not financially feasible at this time, I'd tell him to let her pick what she wants within his budget , and offer to let her pay the difference if she wants something beyond what he is comfortable spending.
 
Well, I'd be wondering what else he has already lied to her about since doing it doesn't really seem to bother him, or he wouldn't be asking. He only seems to care about being found out, not actually about the lie itself.
 
I would say thank you for showing me who you really are before I commit to you for a lifetime
Bye

Most important qualities to me in a partner:
Honesty and respect
 
i had a work mate who's intended gave her white saphires and amethyst set in silver from down the mall - even the mall can do better than that !

this lady was particulary unsuited to white saphires as her work was a bit grubby (inwards goods) and she was no neat/clean freak
i would put money on it he let her beleave they were diamonds
no -i did not tell her, but i did give her cleaning tips

and she loved that ring
thankfully he showed his true colours and the wedding was called off
he asked for the ring back
it cost like $200
i felt sorry for her
i hope she has brought her own ring since

its not that the ring cost $200
its that he was a snake
 
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