Oh dear...I think it has started already. Expanding ceremony and reception guestlist?

[merrymunky]

Our invitations went out on Thursday. A family friend on FI''s side of the family recieved their invite this morning and have already been in contact with FI''s mum. They have only been invited to the evening celebration as FI really only wanted family at the ceremony and reception. They are disappointed that they won''t get to see us exchange our vows etc.

I understand their disappointment completely. They are very good friends of FI''s parents and we all get along great. We have spent Christmas day together 2 years in a row. I would have been more than happy to invite them to the whole day, but FI really only wanted family at the ceremony.

I just texted him to relay the message and he has just replied with a "She''s lucky to get an invite at all"

Oh dear.

Maybe if we have some regretful declines with or RSVP''s we may be able to ask them to the whole event after all, but for now I''ve just had to explain to FI''s mother that he only wanted family. I feel bad now though. I would have quite liked to invite some of our own friends to the ceremony but have gone along with his wishes to keep it family oriented for now.

How have you dealt with situations like this?

 

[Londongirl1]

What a dilemna

. You're definitely not the first bride- to- be to go through this. The main thing is that you and your FI are in agreement on 'who's in and who's out' when it comes to invitations. I know some friends may be a little upset if they're not invited to the whole thing, but if they're real friends then they'll get over it and be happy for you.

 

[merrymunky]

I hope so!

We are in complete agreement over the finalised guestlist thus far.

We want as many of our friends as possible to attend the evening celebration. So some people may just have to make do with it.

Our reception venue isn''t very big. I think once we have about 40 guests seated for a meal it will be about as many as we can hold. Once we get to the evening and the tables are moved to the sides, then we can accommodate all the extra people we have invited to the evening function.

I honestly believe that quite a few people will decline the ceremony and family reception anyway so if necessary we could include some of those closer friends and family friends nearer the time.

 

[ilovesparkles]

I''m not in the exact same situation, but similar. FI mother is really mad we can''t invite all of the family friends to the reception. Well sorry, you aren''t contributing financially, and we can''t afford it. Her solution is to throw a HUGE second reception in FI hometown when we get back. This is not what we want at all. But she insists. All her friends have to be able to celebrate you know! Ugh. I have decided that she can do her own thing and it just means I don''t have to put up with her trying to help with the ceremony and reception we are planning. You don''t wanna help financially, you don''t get to help at all.

Anyways, I understand your frustration, I had to cut my list in half. And I may never see these friends again as I am moving to FI home town. I''m pretty bitter about it right now.

Good luck to you! I hope you get to invite some other people you want to!

 

[merrymunky]

^^They aren''t contributing to your wedding financially but they have the cash to splash out on a SECOND reception just so they can invite the people THEY want?

Wow...that''s...nice of them eh?

It''s just one of those things with weddings. You really can''t please everyone.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 5/30/2009 8:47:41 PM
Author: merrymunky
^^They aren''t contributing to your wedding financially but they have the cash to splash out on a SECOND reception just so they can invite the people THEY want?

Wow...that''s...nice of them eh?

It''s just one of those things with weddings. You really can''t please everyone.

Exactly!!! You won''t please everyone so don''t even try!