"Oh FFFfffuuuuudddggeeeah"

[Prana]

Any one have any funny, "Oh Fudge" Christmas stories to tell?

Tradition in our house was that I would put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving every year. When I was home for Thanksgiving break from college, I put up the tree, but I got a little more into it that year.

I really wrapped the lights into the tree, and it looked really phenomenal. My mother was pleased.

All goes well, I go back to school and a couple of weeks go by....

I get out of class one day, and come back to my dorm to my mother on my answering machine, cursing me out and yelling at me. I guess a strand of lights went out, and she couldn't get them out of the tree. So in a moment of frustration and haste, she CUT THEM OUT of the tree. So there was like, 1200 lights on the tree that now wouldn't work because in her moment, she cut the lights out hahaha. She knew that I was in class when she was trying to call me to figure out what I did with the lights, but that didn't stop her from calling my husband (we were dating at the time), his mother and my brother to figure out if I had spoken to any of them. When I called her back a couple hours after the message, she reamed me out big time.

I didn't do it on purpose, I just wanted the tree to look extra super nice. She made me feel like I comitted a heinous murder. It's funny now, but holy moly, not at the time....

 

[dragonfly411]

I think the most I can come up with is the times I have bought gifts thinking I was getting EXACTLY what someone wanted, and it wasn't it. I got my dad the wrong cologne one year, and the one I got him ended up smelling like Dr. Pepper. I got my mom a shirt in the wrong color once.

I remember the year before last I got REALLY AWESOME presents, and my sister got good presents, but not REALLY AWESOME presents, and she ended up giving herself a fit of laughing and crying at the same time because it was hilarious, but at the same time a bit sad for her.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

My favorite Christmas story is when I was kid. I was maybe 6 or 7, living with parents, our whole family lived in China so we spent Christmas mostly hanging out with other Chinese graduate student families in the area. And even though my family wasn't Christian and we didn't do a lot of the "traditional" christmas stuff, my parents still wanted me to believe in Santa and so they would hide Christmas presents under our little plastic tree for me to find in the morning.

One year my dad made the mistake of leaving a letter "from Santa" along with the presents. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Huh...Santa's grammar is really bad. And his handwriting is awful. What do you think that word is supposed to be?"
Dad: "Well, maybe Santa first language not English."
Me: "Isn't Santa supposed to know all languages?"
Dad: "Maybe Santa learn English last, so not as good".
Me (smirking): "Ok Santa. You should have just written it in Chinese".

Thus ended our "Santa" tradition, haha.

 

[anitabee]

My favorite Christmas story is when I was kid. I was maybe 6 or 7, living with parents, our whole family lived in China so we spent Christmas mostly hanging out with other Chinese graduate student families in the area. And even though my family wasn't Christian and we didn't do a lot of the "traditional" christmas stuff, my parents still wanted me to believe in Santa and so they would hide Christmas presents under our little plastic tree for me to find in the morning.

One year my dad made the mistake of leaving a letter "from Santa" along with the presents. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Huh...Santa's grammar is really bad. And his handwriting is awful. What do you think that word is supposed to be?"
Dad: "Well, maybe Santa first language not English."
Me: "Isn't Santa supposed to know all languages?"
Dad: "Maybe Santa learn English last, so not as good".
Me (smirking): "Ok Santa. You should have just written it in Chinese".

Thus ended our "Santa" tradition, haha.

that is the cutest, funniest story i've read in a long time. so funny, in fact, that i just read it aloud to my out-of-town mom who chuckled as much as i did!

merry christmas

p.s. your dad sounds like a really good guy. how sweet!

 

[doodle]

When I was a kid, my family didn't really have a lot of money, so one year, rather than spending way too much and being super-stressed about it, my mom had the idea that we'd all get each other gifts from the dollar store. All the gifts were pretty funny, but the stuff my stepdad received was particularly hilarious. My little sister got him a tie that had something that looked like cucumbers all over it. I got him a pin that said, "I don't speak English." And the one that still cracks me up--my little brother got him the autobiography of Vanilla Ice.

As for total Christmas disasters, let's just say that coming home from a chorus concert to discover my 26 pound cat had climbed the tree and was chewing on the star topper was *almost* as funny as her sprawling on the floor playing dead after she managed to tip the whole tree over on her way back down. I'm still amazed mom didn't turn her into a funny hat after that! The cat passed away a few years ago, but we still have pictures of her trying to look innocent with the toppled tree in the background, and our Christmas star still has tooth marks all over it!

 

[portia]

My favorite Christmas story is when I was kid. I was maybe 6 or 7, living with parents, our whole family lived in China so we spent Christmas mostly hanging out with other Chinese graduate student families in the area. And even though my family wasn't Christian and we didn't do a lot of the "traditional" christmas stuff, my parents still wanted me to believe in Santa and so they would hide Christmas presents under our little plastic tree for me to find in the morning.

One year my dad made the mistake of leaving a letter "from Santa" along with the presents. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Huh...Santa's grammar is really bad. And his handwriting is awful. What do you think that word is supposed to be?"
Dad: "Well, maybe Santa first language not English."
Me: "Isn't Santa supposed to know all languages?"
Dad: "Maybe Santa learn English last, so not as good".
Me (smirking): "Ok Santa. You should have just written it in Chinese".

Thus ended our "Santa" tradition, haha.

that is the cutest, funniest story i've read in a long time. so funny, in fact, that i just read it aloud to my out-of-town mom who chuckled as much as i did!

merry christmas

p.s. your dad sounds like a really good guy. how sweet!

I agree! MTG, that is such a cute story. Your dad is so sweet!! I'm seriously LOL over here! What a great memory to have. I swear... the things parents do to add a little magic to kids lives during the holidays... it's so precious.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Sure, at times like that he was a ball of sweetness.

But when he told me "Upiter" was the name of the 7th planet (he remembered it started with a "U", so he just took the "J" off of "Jupiter"), or that "organism" was pronounced "orgasm", it wasn't so sweet!

Me in 6th grade biology reading from our textbook: "An amoeba is a single celled orgasm that lives in fresh water...." (where is the mortification emoticon!)

Yeah, I had a lot of conversations with my dad about how "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer when I ask him a question.

 

[Cehrabehra]

who the heck cuts lights out of a tree? sheesh! You did nothing wrong. I don't put my lights on from top to bottom or bottom to top like a lot do... I do the first strand tight to the tree, then layer it from inside to outside. If a strand goes out you just *deal* with it lol You don't cut it out!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

I think the most I can come up with is the times I have bought gifts thinking I was getting EXACTLY what someone wanted, and it wasn't it. I got my dad the wrong cologne one year, and the one I got him ended up smelling like Dr. Pepper. I got my mom a shirt in the wrong color once.

I remember the year before last I got REALLY AWESOME presents, and my sister got good presents, but not REALLY AWESOME presents, and she ended up giving herself a fit of laughing and crying at the same time because it was hilarious, but at the same time a bit sad for her.

how can you get a christmas gift in the wrong color? I don't get that... my inlaws would tell each other exactly what they wanted and lo and behold that's what they'd get but where's the surprise in that? You can buy your own shirt if you're picky about the color. A gift cannot be the wrong color!