one more little vent

[cocolaw]

we told fmil (actually i sent her a very nice email because fi was scared to) that my brother is marrying us. she sent back a "wow, are you sure that''s legal? and i don''t think the cocktail napkins that you ordered are appropriate" response...but that was ok bc we didn''t think that she would be happy.

then she calls fiance and goes on and on about how she is afraid that my brother will be boring.

BORING? i was not under the impression that the officiant''s job was to entertain the guests. ? i thought it was to perform one of the (if not the) most significant ceremony that you will ever participate in, in your life. My fiance assured her that we are writing everything he says and that it won''t be boring. But she persisted. She did not see that having a family member officiate is really sweet, especially for a small intimate wedding. And that friends invited to a small intimate wedding appreciate things like that, and that even if he happens to be boring, all of the people invited will be FINE with that because they are close friends.

another thought: these are the things: cocktail napkins, and my brother being boring, that keep her up at night because she is trying to impress the guests she invited to the wedding.....because they are not really close friends.

i know that called fiance because we assured her that it was legal and she felt like she could not just say "he can''t do it" because she is not religious. so i think boring was the best she could come up with.

sorry, vent!!

 

[marlie]

ugh. what is with fmil''s sometimes??? ours sound EXACTLY the same.

first of all, i''m not a big fan at all of officiants who like showboating. it''s not comedy hour, i''m about to marry someone! bring it back to the point. that''s a huge requirement for me. i can''t imagine anyone more suited to do the job than someone who knows you as well as family. they understand the importance of the moment...YOUR moment.

my fmil cares about all the little details too. not because she wants it to be perfect for us, but because all her fancy friends need to be impressed. it''s pretty annoying. i''m sorry you are dealing with this! i''m sure your cocktail napkins are perfect.

no advice other than to do your best to laugh it off and come here and vent whenever necessary!

 

[sunnyd]

Just tell her he''ll also be juggling while riding a unicycle. Jeez!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

It''s a little weird that FMIL is so worried about what her friends will think of the wedding, most people see the wedding more as a reflection of the bride''s side than the grooms..

 

[museikchik]

No offense coco but your fmil sounds like a P.I.T.A. After reading your registry blog and now this, I would consider you to be a very patient person. I probably would''ve flipped my lid by now. I think that it is really sweet that your brother is going to be your officiant. As for the napkins, who cares? No one really looks at them anyway...

 

[cocolaw]

sigh! thanks! i try VERY hard not to snap at her. i also try not to say anything bad about her to my fiance, even though i know that her motives are not good. she is the type of woman who would badmouth me to our kids one day...she badmouths my fiance''s grandmother..her husband''s mother CONSTANTLY. i thought the grandmother was evil until i met her and realized that she is a really sweet lady!

why oh why are some mil''s so terrible??

 

[museikchik]

Date: 8/26/2009 4:32:42 PM
Author: cocolaw
sigh! thanks! i try VERY hard not to snap at her. i also try not to say anything bad about her to my fiance, even though i know that her motives are not good. she is the type of woman who would badmouth me to our kids one day...she badmouths my fiance''s grandmother..her husband''s mother CONSTANTLY. i thought the grandmother was evil until i met her and realized that she is a really sweet lady!

why oh why are some mil''s so terrible??

Not that I am an expert because I have only met my DH''s mom twice but I think it is more of a territorial thing. You are taking their "baby" away from them and they don''t know how to handle it. At our wedding, MIL wouldn''t even let me get close to DH for his family picture. She was never there for DH when he was younger and she is trying to convince herself she was a good mom. The only reason she was invited was because my FIL (even though they are divorced) wanted her to be. I was a little annoyed but let it slide because honestly I probably won''t see this woman again for another 10 years or until we have a baby. All I know is that when I have kids I won''t be acting as crazy as some of the MILs are. I don''t want to be classified as a P.I.T.A.

 

[ilovesparkles]

I am beginning to wonder if your FMIL and my FMIL secretly meet for coffee on the weekend and plot against us, then in the evenings they go to school to become even more idiotic than they already happen to be. Ugh. Boring. Appropriate napkins.

 

[charbie]

i really wish there was something i could say or do to make things better for you. this has to be so stressful, and it''s not fair you have to deal with this. familys come with the fiance''s, but that doesn''t mean they have the right to stomp over you. is FI aware of the stress she is causing you? because i''m worried it is only going to continue getting worse, and it will continually be something that causes an issue for you two.

 

[cocolaw]

Date: 8/26/2009 8:29:50 PM
Author: ilovesparkles
I am beginning to wonder if your FMIL and my FMIL secretly meet for coffee on the weekend and plot against us, then in the evenings they go to school to become even more idiotic than they already happen to be. Ugh. Boring. Appropriate napkins.

LOL LOL I love this website!!

 

[GoingCrazy29]

Date: 8/25/2009 12:04:50 PM
Author:cocolaw
we told fmil (actually i sent her a very nice email because fi was scared to) that my brother is marrying us. she sent back a ''wow, are you sure that''s legal? and i don''t think the cocktail napkins that you ordered are appropriate'' response...but that was ok bc we didn''t think that she would be happy.

I''m so sorry you have to deal with all this while trying to plan your perfect day. I have to know though, what do your napkins say that she deems "inappropriate"?

 

[cocolaw]

she didn''t like the font!

 

[ts44]

The FONT?

Seriously?

Was it made of like, naked people?

I''m a big font geek and I''ve heard a lot of font descriptions before and never, ever have I heard a font described as "inappropriate." That takes the cake! I''m sure she''s just looking for things to nitpick about to irritate you.

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 8/26/2009 9:13:59 PM
Author: ts44
The FONT?


Seriously?


Was it made of like, naked people?

I''m a big font geek and I''ve heard a lot of font descriptions before and never, ever have I heard a font described as ''inappropriate.'' That takes the cake! I''m sure she''s just looking for things to nitpick about to irritate you.

what are you talking about... Im all about the naked people font for my wedding napkins, heck I''ll use them foe the ceremony programs!

Coco, I''m sorry, your FMIL sounds like a peach, BUT she did pop out your SO so she can''t be all vinegar. This is your day don''t let her little naggings ruin one of the most important days of your life!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Hahah, am going to have to share this thread with J when he gets home from work. I think he will want to get something with naked people font on it too.

coco, honey, you are being such a trooper dealing with her crap. I would either want to shake her by the shoulders and ask her who in their right mind gives a hoot about napkins anyway, or just ask her what the problem is with absolutely EVERYTHING. Then I''d probably want to tell her to shove it because it isn''t her wedding, haha!

But of course, that would all be in my imagination. For real, I would grit my teeth, try to laugh at her absurdity, and then b*tch about her idiocy here on PS.

 

[ts44]

By popular request!

Now you can show your FMIL something really awesome!

 

[meresal]

I''m just going to say, I''m very sorry. Keep sticking up for yourself!

 

[cocolaw]

ugh yeah meresal, i just keep picturing my future, and kids, and then *gasp* what if she ever has to move in with us?????


TS: LOL WHAT??? THAT''s REAL?????????????? hahaha

 

[ts44]

Heck yes! What you do is print out a sample with one of those and show it to her and be like, well we took to heart your suggestion that our font might be not quite right, but we both LOVE this one, what do you think? I guarantee the font you originally chose will look much better in comparison.

She's messing with your head, now it's your turn to mess with hers!

 

[Kelli]

I think that sounds awesome. We are having a friend do ours, and I''m worried that my uncle will be offended, because he is actually a pastor of sorts. I''m sure my FMIL will hate it as well, being very very Catholic, but too bad. We are not, and it''s OUR day. I''m glad you''re doing what YOU want!