Opinions please...

[cindygenit]

Quick question.

Did you / are you going to allow +1s for each guest for your wedding reception? Is there a rule that says you have to? And roughly how many of your friends decide to bring +1s?

Thanks!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

We wanted a smallish wedding, so we let our friends who wouldn''t know many people there bring a +1, but our large college group who knew each other really well didn''t get a +1 since they all know at least 20 other classmates there. And of course, anyone who was engaged/married got a +1.

We also kept the guest list small by saying no kids under 16yo, and making family cuts across the board. So all direct aunts and uncles were invited, but the cousins were not invited, etc. This is just applying to his side since my side can''t make it to the wedding except my parents.

Of the people we invited with a +1, I''d say only 1/3 rsvped with a +1, but that''s probably because a lot of them are out-of-towners so they couldn''t invite a casual date (since they''d probably be sharing a room, and pay to travel together).

 

[cindygenit]

I see... so then would i have to make two different types of RSVP cards? One type with the +1 option, and the other without? I guess that would be easily done cos know everyone well (at least from my side) and i can figure out who needs the +1s.

Thanks MTG for your input!

 

[elrohwen]

I'm still trying to figure out who gets +1s. Some friends I know are in relationships, so I'm allowing them to bring a guest. Some of my friends I just don't know about because we haven't talked in a while, don't talk about that kind of stuff, etc. I don't want to give a +1 to everybody, but it's going to be awkward to send emails around asking who has a significant other

I'm trying to convince FI to just give everyone a guest because most people are from out of town and wouldn't pay for an extra plane ticket unless they were serious about the person. I can't imagine even the local people bringing a random friend just because.

So we're undecided! We'll probably end up not allowing +1s unless people are in a relationship that we know about. We just can't afford for everyone to bring a guest. I don't feel too guilty about it because most people know each other from college, so it's not like they need a guest to have someone to talk to.

ETA: We solved the RSVP card issue by including a line that says "____ out of ____ guests attending" and we will fill in the second line. It's not my favorite solution, but it's the easiest way we could figure to do it. I kind of wish we were printing our own so I could just include everyone's actual name on the RSVP card and include or leave off the "and guest" as needed.

 

[cindygenit]

Oh that''s great! That''s what i want to do as well, but i wasn''t sure if that kind of thins was considered rude or whatever...

I don''t want anyone in my wedding who i have never met and /or don''t know personally.

I guess its just personal preference then

Elrohwen, I can''t afford to have too many people either

 

[Inanna]

I definitely don't think there's any rule that you have to allow every guest a +1.

Since I'm having a destination wedding, I am allowing everyone a +1 (I don't want them to have to travel alone and its just easier for me to deal with, more $$$, but easier). I haven't actually sent invites out yet, but I've tried to keep all of our guests in the loop about plans. 3 of our married/engaged friends have already informed us that they're coming to the wedding but won't be attending with their significant others (they'll know other people at the wedding). A few of my single friends, including one of my BMs, are bringing single female friends as their +1, which I think is great.

For my coupled/married/engaged friends I will include each person's name on the invite (i.e. John & Jane Smith). For the single friends, I will include the name of friend and guest (i.e. Mary Smith and Guest). Hopefully everyone will remember to legibly write the name of the guest on the RSVP card.

The RSVP card will be worded something like this, and will be the same for all invites:

A favor of a reply is requested by (date)

Name(s)_______________________________

___ Will attend with pleasure

___ Must regretfully decline

 

[mayachel]

I think the smaller you keep your wedding overall, the easier it is to invite just people you know. Spouses or long term partners/living together should absolutely be invited as a pair. Also, if anyone will be coming from overseas, I think that due to the cost involved, and time requested off from work, they should be welcomed with a guest, regardless of if you''ve met before.

Of course, with the invite itself, make sure you address it with both names or one name, this will also eliminate the random +1 guests.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Date: 7/7/2009 10:24:27 AM
Author: elrohwen
I''m trying to convince FI to just give everyone a guest because most people are from out of town and wouldn''t pay for an extra plane ticket unless they were serious about the person. I can''t imagine even the local people bringing a random friend just because.

Oh...you''d be surprised.
I skipped the RSVP cards entirely and just sent a link to the online RSVP site (and my phone number for those who weren''t really internet people). And one of my fiance''s RSVPed himself and a guest, and in the input boxes for the guest he entered- First name: Girl. Last Name: Friend

So I called him to ask him why he did that and he goes "oh, I don''t have a date yet, but believe me, I will! There''s no way I''m going to this wedding by myself". He''s local, and was not about to pass up on this event as a great date to take someone one, lol. And you''d be surprised how many local people would rsvp +1 just because they can, and because there will be food and music.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Because of our strict budget, we have decided to allow no +1 unless they are in a serious relationship. We just can''t afford it. I wanted to be able to do +1, but for us it just isn''t feasible. And in the end, I don''t want random people I don''t know at my wedding any way.

 

[cindygenit]

Hmmm, instead of the +1 option, i would just call my guests in advance and ask them for their partner''s name. That way, i can just write both their names on the invite. I won''t ask my university friends for their gf/bf''s name though, they can come alone and i will seat them together (all except one who is engaged .

And then just do a RSVP card similar to Inanna''s suggestion...

Yeay, that''s the invites and RSVP thingo sorted out. Now i just need to pick a design and budget for them!!!