Ordained

[Caribou]

My friend got ordained so that he can marry my FI and I. Has anyone ever done that? Do you know where I can find something that reads what he is suppose to say during the ceremony??

Thanks.

 

[FireGoddess]

When you submit the paperwork, doesn''t the office give you a sample ceremony? I know when I was ordained to marry my friends, I was given some documents with certain words that legally had to be said. I''m pretty sure that they should furnish you with that information, because you can''t just go around saying whatever you want! Certain things about the vows must be said for legal reasons.

The rest can be whatever the couple wants it to be.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/21/2006 3:16:52 PM
Author: FireGoddess
When you submit the paperwork, doesn''t the office give you a sample ceremony? I know when I was ordained to marry my friends, I was given some documents with certain words that legally had to be said. I''m pretty sure that they should furnish you with that information, because you can''t just go around saying whatever you want! Certain things about the vows must be said for legal reasons.

The rest can be whatever the couple wants it to be.

Thanks FG.

So when you got ordained you got the sample words from where you were ordained by or when you made it legal to marry your friends with their state/county?

 

[MINE!!]

Ordained as is State Ordained?

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/21/2006 3:51:40 PM
Author: MINE!!
Ordained as is State Ordained?

I guess. Is there a difference? I know that he can perform ceremonies for anyone now. However, I''m told you have to file something with your state or county (can''t remember which) to make it totally legit.

 

[MINE!!]

I was just curious... My father was an ordained Minister. I guess you can get ''ordained'' secularly?

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/22/2006 10:45:44 AM
Author: MINE!!
I was just curious... My father was an ordained Minister. I guess you can get ''ordained'' secularly?

Pretty much anyone can be ordained...it''s just a little process. My friend is doing his online.

 

[MINE!!]

Ah.... Ok.. just was not sure. I suppose since I grew up with the ''Ordained'' word all around me, it threw me for a loop in another context.... Yes yes I know... Duh Mine...

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 3/21/2006 3:19:51 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 3/21/2006 3:16:52 PM
Author: FireGoddess
When you submit the paperwork, doesn't the office give you a sample ceremony? I know when I was ordained to marry my friends, I was given some documents with certain words that legally had to be said. I'm pretty sure that they should furnish you with that information, because you can't just go around saying whatever you want! Certain things about the vows must be said for legal reasons.

The rest can be whatever the couple wants it to be.

Thanks FG.

So when you got ordained you got the sample words from where you were ordained by or when you made it legal to marry your friends with their state/county?

Yes, Caribou - the government office gave us papers that had certain sentences that I and the couple had to say for the marriage to be legal. I got a certificate that gave me the legal power to marry my 2 friends on a certain day, anywhere within the state of California.

My friends looked up different vows and flushed out the rest of the ceremony with other things they wanted said, but all in all it probably took no more than 5-10 minutes.

Mine, it's strictly a government thing, nothing religious!

 

[leeenie]

Date: 3/22/2006 12:06:31 PM
Author: FireGoddess

Yes, Caribou - the government office gave us papers that had certain sentences that I and the couple had to say for the marriage to be legal. I got a certificate that gave me the legal power to marry my 2 friends on a certain day, anywhere within the state of California.

Does that mean that if you get a marriage license from the state, but don''t have anyone who''s "ordained" say those words, you''re not legally married EVEN IF you sign the marriage license? I always wondered about this because I thought the marriage license was a contract and once the bride & groom sign, as long as it''s the official state form, they''re married.

The reason I ask is because I''m debating whether to have a real ceremony or not...my fiance and I don''t like being the center of attention and feel it would be weird to say emotional, private things in front of everyone, even family! I was thinking maybe we could just get the license and exchange our own vows privately and sign it.

 

[AGBF]

Back in ancient times, when someone wanted to become a minister (for whatever reason) he could become a minister of the United Life Church. (I'm talking 1960's and 70's.) I have a friend who did that before deciding to go to divinity school to do the whole thing a little more formally.

At any rate, I think that the reason for ordination is to get around having to become a justice of the peace (although I could be wrong). Since we have freedom of religion, anyone can be a minister. I think one must register with the state, though. I know that our marriage license required the signature of a clergyman or other official and that our minister filed the document with the Town Hall after he married us.

The Catholic Church used to require no priest to marry a couple; it said that people married each other by having sexual relations. (This is from studying the history of the family.) A friend told me that it is when that act is performed, even now, that the sacrament is bestowed in the Roman Catholic Church. Don't confuse such a marriage with a lawful one, now, however!!!

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 3/22/2006 12:26:57 PM
Author: teagreen

Date: 3/22/2006 12:06:31 PM
Author: FireGoddess

Yes, Caribou - the government office gave us papers that had certain sentences that I and the couple had to say for the marriage to be legal. I got a certificate that gave me the legal power to marry my 2 friends on a certain day, anywhere within the state of California.

Does that mean that if you get a marriage license from the state, but don't have anyone who's 'ordained' say those words, you're not legally married EVEN IF you sign the marriage license? I always wondered about this because I thought the marriage license was a contract and once the bride & groom sign, as long as it's the official state form, they're married.

The reason I ask is because I'm debating whether to have a real ceremony or not...my fiance and I don't like being the center of attention and feel it would be weird to say emotional, private things in front of everyone, even family! I was thinking maybe we could just get the license and exchange our own vows privately and sign it.

I believe you have to have someone officially recognized by the state/county government preside over your wedding vow exchange, or it is not official. The marriage license must be signed by a representative of the state, which would be your 'minister' or whatever.

We had an interfaith ceremony and the person who married us was an 'interfaith minister' who basically got a license from the state to perform ceremonies! I'm sure anyone can sign up to do that (ie. ordaining common folk like us for a day to perform a ceremony, which has been done), but I believe it is required.

 

[FireGoddess]

A quick search led me to this article from Modern Bride. Perhaps it explains things more clearly?

Buddy, Can You Marry Us?
You don''t have to be a Reverend This or a Rabbi That to preside over a wedding. Even regular Joes and Janes can officiate, with a little prep work.
by Mark Yarm

Maybe you''re planning an interfaith wedding, or perhaps you''re just not religious at all. Or maybe this is your second or third or sixth marriage. Or it''s possible you''re just a big Friends fan and were wondering whether, following in Joey''s footsteps, one of your (hopefully more responsible) pals could become a minister via the Internet. Whatever the case may be, you''re thinking it would be more appropriate and more intimate to have a friend or relative—and not a priest, rabbi or even a justice of the peace-betroth you.

Well, you''ll be happy to know that it is possible, and in most cases quite easy and inexpensive, to have a friend or relative legally preside over your wedding. Just remember that before proceeding, it is important to contact your local registrar or courthouse to find out the local laws on the matter.

Congratulations! You''re a minister
Perhaps the easiest way to become a legal officiant is to get ordained online through a religious body like the Universal Life Church. Granted, this may sound suspicious, but in most cases it''s perfectly kosher. Though there are a number of churches that will ordain you online or via snail mail, it''s probably best to stick with the Modesto, Calif.-based ULC, which is the definite leader in the field, claiming to have ordained 400,000 people in the past five years. The church is less than picky-it has ordained animals and dead people and, yes, even dead animals. And although ordination is free, the church does flog products like its Ministry in a Box ($99), which includes your credentials, suitable for framing.
Although critics charge that the ULC is nothing more than an ordination mill, the church is credible in the eyes of the law. According to Brother Daniel Zimmerman, who runs the official ULC Web site (ulc.org) out of Tucson, ministers of the faith can now legally conduct weddings in 49 states. "If you''ve been ordained by the Universal Life Church, you''re equal to Billy Graham, Oral Roberts and the pope," Zimmerman sermonizes. "You can...take care of spiritual needs from the womb to the tomb, sperm to the worm, erection to the resurrection." Good to know in case any of your buddies need you to help with their souls as well as their ceremony.

There are a number of other, unofficial ULC sites that offer online ordinations, including ulc.net, where I applied for membership. The process took all of a minute-I just entered my name, address and e-mail address and clicked the "Ordain me" button—and five hours later I received an e-mail welcoming me to the flock. Feel free to drop me a line ([email protected]) if you''re looking for someone to take care of your spiritual needs.

So, are there any alternatives to joining the ULC? Some states do offer other options:

The one-day pass Perhaps your prospective officiant doesn''t want to be a minister all his or her life. At least three states-California, Massachusetts and Alaska-will designate a person the equivalent of a justice of the peace for a single day. In California, your officiant will briefly possess the high-falutin'' title of Deputy Commissioner of Marriage.

Get notarized. Notaries public are allowed to join couples in holy matrimony in Florida, Maine, South Carolina and one Louisiana parish, according to Consuelo Israelson, production editor at the National Notary Association. Aside from fees, there are residency requirements and other hoops to jump through (including exams in Maine and Louisiana). The NNA''s site, nationalnotary.org, is a good place to begin.

Look for loopholes. Ask your county''s relevant official if there are any alternatives to the options mentioned above. For instance, in Pennsylvania a couple can apply for a Quaker marriage license, regardless of whether they''re actually of the Quaker faith. Once you get the license, you just need two friends to witness the exchange of vows in order to make the marriage valid. That way, you can let whomever you desire officiate.

Finally, keep in mind that the person performing your ceremony will most likely have to provide some documentation, such as a completed marriage certificate, to the local government after the ceremony. Make sure your friend is on top of this, lest your marriage be rendered null and void.