Overwhelmed by too many things at once

[eleguin]

Hi everyone, I''m hoping some of you currently planning your wedding or those who are married can give me some advice about how to go about starting the whole process. Here''s our story.

A lot of things are happening all at the same time and it''s been very overwhelming. My fiance and I got engaged in May, but we postponed any wedding planning because I graduated law school a week after our engagement and spent the rest of the summer studying for the bar. The day after the bar, I moved from DC to my parents house in NJ. My fiance lives in NY. We then took a 3 week trip to Asia to meet each other''s grandparents and extended family.

We returned last week and after recovering from jet-lag, I managed to find an apartment for us in Manhattan. I am so excited about moving in together at last and the apartment is awesome (brand new, great area, etc). We signed the lease over labor day weekend and we are scheduled to move in on Oct 10th. I am starting at my law firm next Monday, so it is a pretty hectic time.

We have decided that we want our wedding to be in September 2007, in the NJ/NY/CT area (in the suburbs, hopefully a place with an outdoor altar) with 100-150 guests. I contacted a few venues today and we''re trying to schedule some tours of the places. The problem is, my fiance and I want to pay for this wedding ourselves and most venues require 25% deposit right away to secure the place. With all the moving expenses, we have hardly any savings, let alone deposit. Could anyone offer some advice about how to approach the search for the best venue? Every time I start looking at wedding websites, I just feel really stressed out.

Thanks!

 

[KimberlyH]

I would seek out advice/information from people you know who have gotten married in the areas you are focused on. Share your budget so they some idea of guiding you. Call the local Chambers of Commerce, see if you get a nice person on the phone who is willing to provide you with some guidance (people who work at Chamber''s are usually really friendly and helpful, and no I don''t work at one

). Take a few drives through the areas you''re interested in, make it an adventure, stop at a restaurant or two for lunch/dinner and see if the employees have any ideas. People in the business usually have the best suggestions. If you make it an adventure it will remove some of the stress. Hubby and I just went out looking one day, without appointments, to see what we liked and then narrowed it down from there.

Good luck and enjoy!

 

[flutterby]

ouch! I feel your pain! I got engaged, moved from chicago to LA for my job working 15 hour days opening a store, quit my job started a new job (2 weeks before the wedding), and managed to get through it alive.

I cant imagine the stress of finding a place in NYC, let alone the expense of throwing a wedding there. If I were you I would start out slow. Start looking at bios on the knot under the new york section, look at pictures and read posts about locations. Get some ideas of what is out there, and how people did it reasonably.

You obviously need to stay within your budget, but dont be overwhelmed with the calculations first. Initially figure out what you want, and how you can do it with the least amount of money down (and without asking family for help!)

Remember to take time for the two of you, enjoy your engagement and wedding planning, make sure to not let it overwhelm you!

 

[scarlet16]

Eleguin-

Congrats on finishing the bar... and on finding that apartment! I know you were concerned with that for a while. (Do you mind me asking which area you ended up in?) My best suggestion is talk to a wedding planner in the area (or someone familiar w/ the tri-state area). They can probably suggest a number of places to you that are within your budget, and with your busy first year associate schedule, I''m sure it''ll help tremendously to have someone to rely on.

As for venues, I can suggest a few:
The Manor, West Orange, NJ. REALLY beautiful outdoor altar area and "garden" for photos
The Venetian, Garfield, NJ. Beautiful banquet hall like rooms
The Surf Club, New Rochelle, NY. Amazing outdoor area, outdoor cocktail area and indoor reception area

 

[eleguin]

Thanks for the advice ladies! I scheduled appointments to see a few places later this month. Scarlet, I also contacted the 3 places you recommended. I want to be able to see as many as possible.

Do you have any idea what hiring a wedding planner would cost us?

We found a 1 bedroom apt in the financial district, 3 blocks from southstreet seaport. It is about a 5 min walk to work for my fiance. I work at Rockefeller, so I will be taking the subway. At least it is close to one of us!

 

[scarlet16]

I have no clue how much a wedding planner would cost, since ours is a good friend who got out of the business a few years ago and is doing it as a wedding present to us. Try going on the NY board of the Knot (they''re actually really friendly there) and see if anyone has suggestions. I''m sure there are plenty who have had wedding planners.

I also thought of another place that was amazing...the Glen Island Harbour Club. They have an AMAZING room that is just floor to ceiling windows and would make for a beautiful ceremony.


You and I actually have the same commute but backwards. I live near Rockefeller and work down in the financial district (and I actually lived across from the Seaport during colleg)! It''s not bad but its definitely a pain to have to "commute."