Parent gifts?

[hoofbeats95]

I was wondering if anyone would share what they got their parents for gifts? I'd like to get mine something. Or even just my mom. My dad is the type that doesn't care, and if Mom is happy so is he. I guess I have to get my FIL's something too. My parents are contributing more to the wedding, so I'd like something special. I'm just lost as to what.

 

[sillyberry]

Does your mom like jewelry? Perhaps a piece with birthstones or just something you think she would like. Etsy has so many wonderful unique pieces. A lovely jewelry box would be also nice. I know someone on here (Yssie?) found some amazing ones for her mom and MIL. Including a heartfelt note about how much they mean to you and how they've raised you to now be ready for embarking into marriage wouldn't leave a dry eye!

Also, I think your FI should be responsible for getting his parent gifts. If he's not so inclined (or just doesn't know, as would be the case with my FI!), I would nudge him that way. At the very least, he should not leave you alone to figure out what they would like!

 

[swingirl]

I know times have changed and people give their parents much more extravagant and personal gifts then they used to but we gave our parents a nice professional album of our wedding potos where more of the photos focused on their family (which wasn't cheap).

 

[megumic]

I gave embroidered hankies to the moms. An array of varieties, styles and colors are available on etsy.

 

[mayachel]

I gave both our mothers a JKT key necklace with both our initials, and our fathers a really nice photo frame. We also both wrote our own letters to our parents thanking them for their various help, in the same note card. They were really happy with these token gifts.

 

[yssie]

sillyberry - I did do jewellery boxes, they were big hits! You're sweet to have remembered

hoofbeats - here's the thread [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mothers-gifts-are-in.148182/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mothers-gifts-are-in.148182/[/URL]
if that's something you might be interested in I definitely checking out John Traeger's goods (he has an etsy store)

 

[Prana]

We got my parents a 3 night stay at a bed and breakfast in their favorite vacation spot. They were thrilled!

We didn't get his parents anything...they didn't contribute financially and really acted more like guests than parents of the groom. I love them dearly, but I have to honestly say that they frustrated the sh*t out of me during the whole planning process.

 

[hoofbeats95]

We got my parents a 3 night stay at a bed and breakfast in their favorite vacation spot. They were thrilled!

We didn't get his parents anything...they didn't contribute financially and really acted more like guests than parents of the groom. I love them dearly, but I have to honestly say that they frustrated the sh*t out of me during the whole planning process.

Did they have any feelings regarding the great gift you got your parents?

Personally that is how I WANT his parents to act. His mother shared her displeasure at the thought of a "big" wedding early on in the engagement. He was married before, so maybe that is why. But it's MY first marriage and I'm an only daughter. If I want to allow my father the opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle in a traditional way that's my/our decision! I was pissed when she said that, in front of my FI and my mother. I've never felt the same towards her since. I never talk about the wedding in front of her. I'm rarely asked about it. They have offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner. And we have a VERY small wedding party, but I'm sure even this gesture may cause more problems than it's worth. My parents are paying for the food and the open bar portion of the reception. That's quite a significant amount of money when you have the number of guests that we have. So I'm all for them showing up as guests. Less headache and stress for me. I need to talk to my FI about gifts.

 

[Prana]

They didn't have any problems with it, and they knew what we got for my parents. My parents are very generous to my DH and me, and we like to return the favor to the best of our ability. DH parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, but my FIL liked to say (and often), that 'tradition says that he should pay for the rehearsal dinner and that's what he'll do.' My MIL was involved in the planning that I involved her in, but made no attempts to offer opinions or provide help other than when she was asked. My FIL likes to play the 'broke and retired' card, so whatever. He pretty much made me plan the rehearsal dinner, even though he was the one paying for it, and he wouldn't tell me what he was comfortable paying and what sort of ideas he had in mind so I did the best I could. He didn't feel it was necessary to pay for peoples drinks at the rehearsal dinner, so DH and I picked up that tab, plus added some extra food so there would be enough to eat. I had a lot of ill feelings toward him for many reasons, and he continues to act in a way that makes my DH and I dislike him more and more everyday. But that is a different story. But don't misunderstand me, I love my in-laws very much and it has nothing to do with money and what was given, but rather, their general mannerisms and outlook on life. And my FIL's sense of entitlement.

My DH did not want to get them anything. We will give them an album of our photos once we get them back. They are not the type of people who really expect gifts anyways. Neither are my parents, but they went above and beyond, and I wanted to show our gratitude.

 

[Prana]

We got my parents a 3 night stay at a bed and breakfast in their favorite vacation spot. They were thrilled!

We didn't get his parents anything...they didn't contribute financially and really acted more like guests than parents of the groom. I love them dearly, but I have to honestly say that they frustrated the sh*t out of me during the whole planning process.

Did they have any feelings regarding the great gift you got your parents?

Personally that is how I WANT his parents to act. His mother shared her displeasure at the thought of a "big" wedding early on in the engagement. He was married before, so maybe that is why. But it's MY first marriage and I'm an only daughter. If I want to allow my father the opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle in a traditional way that's my/our decision! I was pissed when she said that, in front of my FI and my mother. I've never felt the same towards her since. I never talk about the wedding in front of her. I'm rarely asked about it. They have offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner. And we have a VERY small wedding party, but I'm sure even this gesture may cause more problems than it's worth. My parents are paying for the food and the open bar portion of the reception. That's quite a significant amount of money when you have the number of guests that we have. So I'm all for them showing up as guests. Less headache and stress for me. I need to talk to my FI about gifts.

I can understand why you are upset with that. The wedding is 99% about the bride...and it's your first wedding. You deserve to have your dream wedding, regardless of whether it's his second. It's amazing the things people can do and say that just totally turn you off forever. I still don't feel the same way toward my in-laws as I felt before our engagement/wedding. Our venue was the type that we needed to help with a little of the clean up since it was an old mansion. They did not offer any help, they just left with the rest of the guests. They showed up late because they got lost, and missed a lot of important pre wedding photos and the like because of it. This could have been avoided if they had come with us to our planning sessions, as they were always invited, but they never came. Oh, but my FIL sure did accept the compliments he received on what a wonderful, beautiful wedding it was!

I can totally understand where you are coming from. Maybe a parent album of photos will suffice? I would have done the same for my in laws as I did for my parents, regardless of what they gave us financially, but they just frustrated me and made me resent them a little in their ways.

 

[chemgirl]

We gifted my parents with a deep sea fishing trip in a private boat. They were extremely helpful during the entire wedding process, not to mention their work setting up and clearing the venue before and after the ceremony. We didn't give his parents anything because they acted like guests, and annoying guests at that. His mother lives out of the country and chose not to attend the wedding. She never called, didn't send a card, or a gift, or anything. Not even an email with congratulations. She did write something on DH's facebook page the day after the wedding DH's dad and step mother came, but they brought a dog (even after being told there would be nowhere to put it). They left it in the car which really bothered me (poor puppy!). They did run out to check on it every half hour or so, and left right after the meal. I wasn't thrilled about that. I know people's dogs are important to them, but I don't see why they couldn't find a sitter for one day.

To be honest, I think they're annoyed that we gave my parents a gift and didn't give them anything. We love them very much, but in this case I didn't feel gifting them. I'm going to sound like a total brat for this, but they spent less than $100 on our wedding present because they're not "gift people" so I don't think we're obliged to spend a fortune on them.

 

[Prana]

We gifted my parents with a deep sea fishing trip in a private boat. They were extremely helpful during the entire wedding process, not to mention their work setting up and clearing the venue before and after the ceremony. We didn't give his parents anything because they acted like guests, and annoying guests at that. His mother lives out of the country and chose not to attend the wedding. She never called, didn't send a card, or a gift, or anything. Not even an email with congratulations. She did write something on DH's facebook page the day after the wedding DH's dad and step mother came, but they brought a dog (even after being told there would be nowhere to put it). They left it in the car which really bothered me (poor puppy!). They did run out to check on it every half hour or so, and left right after the meal. I wasn't thrilled about that. I know people's dogs are important to them, but I don't see why they couldn't find a sitter for one day.

To be honest, I think they're annoyed that we gave my parents a gift and didn't give them anything. We love them very much, but in this case I didn't feel gifting them. I'm going to sound like a total brat for this, but they spent less than $100 on our wedding present because they're not "gift people" so I don't think we're obliged to spend a fortune on them.

Don't worry chemgirl, I know how you feel

 

[diamondseeker2006]

As a recent mother-of-the-bride, I can tell you that we did not expect or want a gift! There were plenty of things they need to spend money on (clothes, rings, honeymoon) and it just did not need to be on us. They did give each set of parents a silver picture frame with their names and the wedding date at the rehearsal dinner. I thought that was perfect and absolutely enough. I suppose the expectations vary in families, but truly, a sweet note would be something I would appreciate more than a material gift. In fact, after the reception they stopped and changed clothes quickly at our hotel room before going on to theirs (so we could take the wedding gown home and the grooms clothes could be returned), and they scribbled a sweet note about how the wedding was everything they could have hoped for and both signed it! Now that is something I saved!

 

[NovemberBride]

We gave each of our moms a piece of David Yurman jewelry and we gave my dad a pair of David Yurman cufflinks and we wrote them heartfelt notes about how much their help in planning/paying for the wedding and generally being there for us meant to the two of us. We did not give anything to DH's dad because he did not help plan/pay for the wedding.

Our gifts we fairly extravagant, but DH and I were in our late 20's when we married and in a very good financial position. My parents insisted on paying for the whole wedding and DH's mom paid for the rehearsal dinner. They would not let us pay for anything so we decided to give generous gifts. The parents and bridal party gifts were the only thing we paid for other than our wedding rings and gift to each other. We were extremely fortunate to have families that were in a position to give us this gift and we were extremely grateful.