Parents gifts?

[PearlDahhhling]

So I''m a clueless bride because I had no idea we were supposed to get our parents gifts!

What do we get them? Is there a traditional type of parent gift?

Do I have to get my parents AND FI''s parents gifts? Just my parents? Are the gifts from FI and I together?

Help!

 

[kittybean]

I got my parents gifts, but they were mostly thank-you gifts for helping me with the planning process. There is no way I could have put this all together without the help of my spreadsheet-ing, researching, charting, filing, tireless mother, and my always-on-schedule, logistics-coordinating dad. The gifts weren''t huge, but I got my mom some Swarovski earrings she wanted, and my dad got a new set of studs for his tux shirt.

I''m not getting FI''s parents gifts as of this moment--if he decides he wants to do it, he can, but they haven''t participated at all in putting together the wedding, so I don''t personally feel I need to give them some sort of thank-you gift.

I think you and your fiance should discuss whether you want to give gifts to parents, and if you do, set a budget together, delegate who will buy which gift, and decide whether it will be from each to his or her own parents or from both of you to both parents. There are many ways you can do this, if you want to, but please discuss with your fiance what he is planning on doing first, and see if maybe you could mesh your ideas.

I also think it would be acceptable (and sweet!) to send both sets of parents very heartfelt notes of gratitude and love, thanking them for the support they''ve provided you through your lives, especially in this, the most important decision you''ll ever make.

 

[brightlight]

We gave gifts to everyone in the wedding - both sets of parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, friends who performed the readings.

 

[PearlDahhhling]

Date: 5/31/2009 5:26:34 AM
Author: kittybean
I got my parents gifts, but they were mostly thank-you gifts for helping me with the planning process. There is no way I could have put this all together without the help of my spreadsheet-ing, researching, charting, filing, tireless mother, and my always-on-schedule, logistics-coordinating dad. The gifts weren''t huge, but I got my mom some Swarovski earrings she wanted, and my dad got a new set of studs for his tux shirt.


I''m not getting FI''s parents gifts as of this moment--if he decides he wants to do it, he can, but they haven''t participated at all in putting together the wedding, so I don''t personally feel I need to give them some sort of thank-you gift.


I think you and your fiance should discuss whether you want to give gifts to parents, and if you do, set a budget together, delegate who will buy which gift, and decide whether it will be from each to his or her own parents or from both of you to both parents. There are many ways you can do this, if you want to, but please discuss with your fiance what he is planning on doing first, and see if maybe you could mesh your ideas.


I also think it would be acceptable (and sweet!) to send both sets of parents very heartfelt notes of gratitude and love, thanking them for the support they''ve provided you through your lives, especially in this, the most important decision you''ll ever make.

Thanks for your input Kitty.

This is why I''m torn as well because aside from some monetary help from my dad, our parents haven''t really helped us at all... But I''m pretty sure his mother is expecting a gift. She made a remark about how at the rehearsal dinner we are supposed to give our bridal party gifts AND parents gifts.

I did find these cute cards on theknot and I got one for each parent. I plan to write something heartfelt in them and give them to the parents on our wedding day. I always think gifts like this are more meaningful anyway...

But I still think FMIL wants a present..

 

[PearlDahhhling]

Date: 5/31/2009 7:44:17 AM
Author: brightlight
We gave gifts to everyone in the wedding - both sets of parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, friends who performed the readings.

What did you give the parents...?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am not familiar with giving the parents gifts. I would insist that my daughter not do this if it ever came up. I think a sweet thank-you note would be a lovely gesture if the parents gave or contributed to the wedding, though.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

We''re not big into gifts in my family, so I plan to give the parents nice picture frames to put a picture of their choosing from the wedding in. I''m also going to pay to have my mom and FI''s mom have their hair done on the day of.

 

[swingirl]

When my kids get married I''d like a thank you note and a photo but nothing for them to stress about. It seems, though, that the gift-giving tradition has been taken to a new level today with everyone getting a gift.

 

[kama_s]

Our parents have done zero for our wedding, so I dont feel the need to get anyone gifts.

Except for my father, who is too far away to do anything. He insisted today on paying for my dress, and I think I will accept because it would mean a lot to him. I think I''m going to give him a frame with a wedding picture of us together, and possibly a tie to add to his collection. He loves ties and I have gifted several to him over the years. He gets tons of compliments on all the ties I''ve bought him!

 

[allycat0303]

I''m pretty torn. I don''t know what to get the parents. They haven''t contributed, but I feel I should give them something. Just kind of a thank you for all the things they''ve done for us in the past, not necessarily the wedding but for raising us?? I''m pretty at lost, everything seems inadequate.

 

[neatfreak]

Didn''t do gifts at the RD but we did get both sets of parents a copy of our wedding album after the fact.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/31/2009 8:10:15 PM
Author: neatfreak
Didn''t do gifts at the RD but we did get both sets of parents a copy of our wedding album after the fact.

This is what we''re doing as well.

 

[rhbgirl24]

We got gifts for all the parents and stepparents too! Mothers were gemstone necklaces, my dad cuff links, his dad a cherry watch box, stepfather a flask, and stepmom some bath stuff. I thought presents for parents were the norm, and yes, we are paying for our own wedding too, with a little help from the parents.

 

[Elmorton]

We didn''t really do parents'' gifts (we didn''t do gifts for each other, either) - our plan had been to frame photos of the wedding and give them at Xmas, but the parents ended up ordering a ton of photos, so that didn''t really work out the way we''d planned. Our wedding was the day before Father''s Day, so we did write each other''s dads special cards, which I think meant a lot to them, and wrote cards to our parents - which I believe they opened during the rehearsal dinner. Our parents were very "hands off" when it came to wedding planning and didn''t really have any expectations of what''s "traditional" to do, so there was definitely no offense when we didn''t really do gifts for the parents.

 

[AmberGretchen]

We gave both sets of parents a copy of an album we made from the wedding pictures and large versions of their favorite photos. IMO, I don''t think you have to spend a lot of money or get super fancy with it, unless you want to (which it sounds like you don''t). If you want to give something at the RD - maybe a nice frame for a wedding photo?