Passive Aggressive-How to deal?

[AllieGator]

So I''ve been a little annoyed by the old bf lately. He''s a wonderful person, but he has the tendency to be passive-aggressive, and to me, it''s one of the most annoying things in the world. I''m a very direct person, and I like to be told what the problem is directly--even if it hurts my feelings.

Passive-Aggressiveness really annoys me, because it always makes me feel like the person thinks I''m stupid and they can pull one over on me. My BF has been doing this lately--if something is bothering him, he''ll deny until I tell him he''s being passive-aggressive, then he''ll admit what the problem is.

Does anyone else have experience with passive-aggressiveness? He doesn''t do it all the time, and only with little things that annoy him. If there is a real problem, he says it. What do you do? What''s a nice way I can point it out without sounding like I''m trying to "re-educate" him? Thanks so much!

 

[crossmyfingers]

You could try to talk to him civilly and say pretty much what you''ve said here. You could say something like, "I know when there is a big problem, you will talk to me, but I feel like if something small is bothering you you just keep it inside until I make you talk about it. I want you to know you can talk to me about small things too, and that way we can try to resolve little disagreements instead of both feeling on edge about something minor." Maybe?

 

[junebug17]

Date: 10/21/2009 7:53:09 PM
Author: crossmyfingers
You could try to talk to him civilly and say pretty much what you''ve said here. You could say something like, ''I know when there is a big problem, you will talk to me, but I feel like if something small is bothering you you just keep it inside until I make you talk about it. I want you to know you can talk to me about small things too, and that way we can try to resolve little disagreements instead of both feeling on edge about something minor.'' Maybe?

Wow, that sounds good!