Patience pill

[firebirdgold]

Someone really needs to invent a Patience pill. He''d make a fortune just from us LIW''s!

Warning: Mild vent ahead!

It''s amazing how hard it is to be rational sometimes. My beloved bf is in the last throes of writing the final draft of his thesis, I''m not even going to see him for more than one lunch this week. And what am I fretting about? That I haven''t gotten any feedback on the new ring email I sent him last night.

I''ve officially lost my mind. (ok, ok, I already did a while ago).

I know he spent last night cutting up two papers and pasting them together again (literally) to make a new chapter until his dining room looked like a printer exploded. (he IM''d me the picture). And I know that he probably never opened the email. In point of fact, I actually labeled it: "rings revised- do not open until after defense".
Yet the first thing I did this morning was check my email. I''m just dying to know if he even liked the look of the niwaka rings.

It is so freaking hard to hand over control of the e-ring thing to him. Heck, it''s hard to hand over control in anything to anybody! I keep reminding myself that A) it''s good practice for marriage when we have to at least share control of decisions, and B) I really do trust his taste. really.
Of course I don''t trust his ability to pick a diamond in the least, so I gave him my wf wishlist password and stocked the thing with, ah, pre-screened diamonds.

Bleh, hope that didn''t overstep my bounds.

 

[AmberWaves]

Honey, I am with you. I am so not trusting my BF''s ability to buy a diamond, so he transfered all the money into my account, and I''m going to buy it from there.

Sad, isn''t it? He likes the help, and is proud of me picking it. Now, all we have to do it wait a week (!

) till he sends the next amount of cash into my account, and the ring buyin'' shall commence!!! It''s funny, I''ve waited years without any sign of a ring, without me fussin'' about it. Now, with a freakin'' week to go and I''m bitchin'' and moanin''. Cripes.

I think the wishlist idea of yours was grand. Good job!!

 

[Caribou]

Wren, my FI and went ring shopping together and I couldn't stop thinking about it happening, after about 3 weeks of thinking 'will it be this weekend' or 'will it be that weekend' I told him I didn't not want to discuss rings anymore, he knew what I wanted the rest was left up to him.

Unfortunately it didn't work, I still drove myself crazy.

Pleasures of being a woman.

Ha, I didn't help you at all. But all of us at one time were (or possibly are still) there so when you start to get that unbelievable uncontrollable impatient urge....just let us know.

Amber, I thought you already had your diamond??

ETA: I feel a little out of place...two dogs aviatars and a one cat.

 

[AmberWaves]

Not, the diamond is still not found! WF is having a hard time of it, trying to find one in my specs.

Which I don''t think is all that complicated, but hey, I work with computers, not diamonds! A week and all the money will be there, but I''m kinda getting anxious, and I want to know if there is anything he''s found for me! Also, I just got panicky about the prongs that are in my setting, I''m not sure it will be able to hold the rectangular radiant that I''m hoping to get.

Sorry for the hijack, Wren.

Also, I wish I could have a cat- yours is probably bigger than my dog is! I''m allergic to cats, and most dogs, which is why our dog is hypoallergenic!!

 

[LizzieC]

I think that prescreening the diamonds is a brilliant idea, and he''ll probably appreciate it... After his defense!

During the 2 weeks of crunch time while I was completing my thesis, my fiance completely freaked. It was the first time he was ever around me when I was super busy with work. And he even told me that he felt like I didn''t love him anymore!

So as long as you don''t think that, you''re doing alright! Good luck girl!

 

[firebirdgold]

Hijack away Amber, I don''t mind in the least. This is after all a vent thread!

Open to all and sundry ventings.

I''m so sorry you''re having trouble finding the right diamond! A small budget actually works for me in this case since there are a lot of 1/3 carat ideals to choose from.

I think the most frustrating thing (for me) about his crunch time, is that all I can do to help is stay out of his way. I stopped by his office at lunch today and gave him some daffodils in a little vase for a bit of cheerful color. But it''s more to make me feel like I''m supporting him, than because I think it''ll make him feel better. you know?

Well, I think the wishlist is a good idea, and I did tell him I liked several different niwaka rings, plus I said a non-pavé antique ring would also work. So hopefully he doesn''t feel like I''m being to specific, and ignore the pre-screened diamonds. I''m banned from saying "I''d like this ring please". He says it would take all the fun out of it.

It is driving me crazy that I keep telling him what I like, but I still have no idea what he likes. And he''s the one doing the picking! I can''t even guess what he''ll finally come up with. The first ring research email I sent him had a huge range of styles and links. All I got back was ''some of those are quite pretty''. WHICH ONES??


*sigh* I guess I''ll just have to do my best not to bring it up until after his defense... I am so grateful to all of you wonderful LIW''s for letting me de-pressurize here.

 

[Selkie]

Hey, have you posted the niwaka pictures on PS anywhere? At least *we* could ooh and ahh over them, and maybe make you feel a LITTLE better. When is he defending?

 

[Selkie]

wait, I''m confused...niKAWA, or niWAKA??

 

[Mandarine]

I would love to see that ring too!!

and please, if you find a "pill" let me know! I''ll be first in line to get some!!!!!

M~

 

[chickflick]

I know it's hard to be patient- I hard a break-down last week while we were watching Walk the Line and Johnny Cash kept proposing to June Carter and she kept saying no. All I could think was, "he's asked her a million times and Jim hasn't truly asked once!" With us it's just assumed.

I imagine this is probably one of the most challenging things he's ever done, though, so just try to be supportive and put your dream on the back burner just for this short time so he can get through his thesis. If you push anything now you're guaranteed to regret it later.

Hang in there and come vent anytime!!

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 3/7/2006 7:34:48 PM
Author: Selkie
wait, I'm confused...niKAWA, or niWAKA??

Oops, my bad. niwaka.

Yeah, patience is not my forté. But it's been much easier not to bug him about it once he gave me a time frame. (i.e. sometime after the thesis). And I can see how stressed he is so I'm doing my best not to be the straw on the camel's back. I'm just taking it out on you guys!

He's hopefully sending his advisor the final draft this saturday, and he is defending April 4th. And I'll have to be even more patient after that because he's presenting a paper in greece on the 24th. Writing the talk won't be a big deal, but he's not what I could call a good traveler. The number of days he spends stressing over it is in direct proportion to the number of flight hours, multiplied by the bodies of water that will be flown over.

OTOH, They do say travel is one of the greatest tests of a relationship. Does it count if I sedate him??

ETA: It occurred to me that when we're in greece for the conference, I'm going to be one of the hill 'spouses'.

Just the thought that I'll be part of a 'spouse' group is thrilling! Yes, it's a little pathetic.

 

[Selkie]

hmmm-pics aren''t showing up. Greece sounds like fun! Will you have some time to explore together?

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 3/8/2006 1:13:23 AM
Author: Selkie
hmmm-pics aren''t showing up. Greece sounds like fun! Will you have some time to explore together?

weird about the pics. well the two I sent him were entire and poem from http://niwaka.com/us/index.html although I admire most of their collection.
I still love sapphires Selkie, but since I like good-sized velvety blue sapphires and I like small 1/3 carat diamonds... I decided that a sapphire ring was a subject better saved for an anniversary.

I hope we''ll have time, it''s a 5 day conference and his work allows him a ''jet lag'' day as well. He''s not sure how boring the conference will be but as he puts it ''no one goes to the Isle of Rhodes to actually attend a parallel computer conference''. An idea reinforced by the fact that we''re at a resort on the beach with a giant domed swimming pool.

He has to go for the paper which is related to his thesis, but the others in his group who are going were strong-armed into it by their mates. So at least I''ll have a group to hang out with.

It''s a great chance to get to know them better.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/7/2006 4:55:17 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Not, the diamond is still not found! WF is having a hard time of it, trying to find one in my specs.

Which I don''t think is all that complicated, but hey, I work with computers, not diamonds! A week and all the money will be there, but I''m kinda getting anxious, and I want to know if there is anything he''s found for me! Also, I just got panicky about the prongs that are in my setting, I''m not sure it will be able to hold the rectangular radiant that I''m hoping to get.

Sorry for the hijack, Wren.

Also, I wish I could have a cat- yours is probably bigger than my dog is! I''m allergic to cats, and most dogs, which is why our dog is hypoallergenic!!

Sorry hijacking for a quick minute.

I remember now, you wanted a radiant and are having a hard time finding it.
Yes my cat is probably bigger than your dog since he is very ''fluffy'' or stocky as I like to say but fat to others (better to cuddle with

).

 

[Selkie]

Date: 3/8/2006 1:47:47 AM
Author: Wren

weird about the pics. well the two I sent him were entire and poem from http://niwaka.com/us/index.html although I admire most of their collection.

I still love sapphires Selkie, but since I like good-sized velvety blue sapphires and I like small 1/3 carat diamonds... I decided that a sapphire ring was a subject better saved for an anniversary.

I hope we''ll have time, it''s a 5 day conference and his work allows him a ''jet lag'' day as well. He''s not sure how boring the conference will be but as he puts it ''no one goes to the Isle of Rhodes to actually attend a parallel computer conference''. An idea reinforced by the fact that we''re at a resort on the beach with a giant domed swimming pool.

He has to go for the paper which is related to his thesis, but the others in his group who are going were strong-armed into it by their mates. So at least I''ll have a group to hang out with.

It''s a great chance to get to know them better.

I know I''m not the one that counts, but for what it''s worth I love them both! Although I tend to like more vintage/antique looks, I also really love a clean, sleek look like those have. There''s something...organic?...about the curves, and the way the diamond LIVES in the metal. One of them almost looks like a moebius strip. Are you thinking of getting a Niwaka ring, or having something custom designed to look like it? Are they amenable to you finding your own diamond?

No chance of a proposal while you''re in Greece, is there? A bunch of people from my lab just went to an Ocean Science conference in Honolulu. Which...makes a little more sense than Greece for computers, but still. I think half of them spent the first couple days attending seminars and poster sessions, and then gave up and went to the beach. Either way, I''m sure you''ll have a fantastic time.

 

[Patchee]

Ain''t it grand to be a women? But then sometimes... so NOT!

 

[anchor31]

Those rings are beautiful!!!

And I agree it''s so hard to be patient!!! Now that I''ve finally made a choice, I have to wait another two weeks to know if my boyfriend can buy my ring because of his bloody work situation and its killing me!!! Hang on in there, it''s coming.

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 3/8/2006 10:55:06 AM
Author: Selkie

I know I''m not the one that counts, but for what it''s worth I love them both! Although I tend to like more vintage/antique looks, I also really love a clean, sleek look like those have. There''s something...organic?...about the curves, and the way the diamond LIVES in the metal. One of them almost looks like a moebius strip. Are you thinking of getting a Niwaka ring, or having something custom designed to look like it? Are they amenable to you finding your own diamond?

Because he''s a super-computer/mathematician geek, I have the feeling he''ll go for the moebius look as well!
I''m really keeping my fingers crossed.
We can''t afford an original Niwaka, and because he''s a bit... frugal... he''d never go for something with that kind of mark-up anyway. I mean seriously, $2600 for a 1/4 carat ring in 900 plat?? I don''t think so, and that''s before their prices went up this year. I checked with whiteflash, and they can do a custom job we can afford that has the same feel to it. (copywrite). Well Niwaka keeps saying that they''re the tiffany of Japan, so I have no more moral qualms about getting a Niwaka replica than a Tiffany replica. It''s their own fault for overcharging.

Anchor31, I''m doing my best to hang in there! Good thing it helps to know how much they love us, and that they want a future together as much as we do. I just keep reminding myself how lucky I am.

 

[Selkie]

Date: 3/8/2006 2:29:26 PM
Author: Wren


We can''t afford an original Niwaka, and because he''s a bit... frugal... he''d never go for something with that kind of mark-up anyway. I mean seriously, $2600 for a 1/4 carat ring in 900 plat?? I don''t think so, and that''s before their prices went up this year. I checked with whiteflash, and they can do a custom job we can afford that has the same feel to it. (copywrite). Well Niwaka keeps saying that they''re the tiffany of Japan, so I have no more moral qualms about getting a Niwaka replica than a Tiffany replica. It''s their own fault for overcharging.

Gah! That''s nuts. But I bet whiteflash can do a good job with it. Have you ever looked at Tradeshop.com? They do some cool custom work.

 

[moon river]

This topic reminds me of a picture artist friend painted for me when I was younger. It had a little blue bird praying and the saying under him said "God, please grant me patience.....Right NOW!!"

That about sums me up.

 

[snuga]

I had to chime in to say that those Niwaka rings are GORGEOUS! They are so unique, yet simple and modern and classic at the same time! Thanks a lot-now I have another website to add to my favorites!

 

[Blenheim]

I need a patience pill as well.

One of my friends is a math geek, and he was elated when he found a mobius strip as a wedding band. It sounds like something that your BF could have fun with.

I love a lot of Niwaka''s rings, but they''re just so expensive!

 

[firebirdgold]

They are horribly overpriced! Which is why I originally discounted the idea. But looking at people's wonderful wf custom rings, and their great diamonds made me realize that a niwaka-style ring was possible.

Math geeks are irresistibly drawn to anything math related, so there's a good chance I'll be wearing a mobius e-ring someday

I guess I'll find out in june. He's in full thesis melt-down mode, and I just found out that he won't actually be all done until April 15th! So no chance he'll have time to catch his breath and start thinking about it until May.

But... I have to admit. I really worried he still won't have time. He is so insanely busy this summer, the April conference in Greece is just the opening salvo. He has conferences, workshops, a grad student, and an entire herd of undergrads he supposed to be sheperding with a couple of others in an entirely different state!
It's making me very anxious and I can't talk to him until he's decompressed from this.

ETA:
The blue bird fits me perfectly too! I'm just going to have to dredge up enough patience to wait until after he gets his phd to tell him how desperately I want to be engaged before his sister's wedding.

I just so badly need him to tell me we'll be official by then and I'll be introduced to his grandparents as his future wife, not just a girlfriend.
Good thing that's not until the beginning of September! Plenty of time. why don't I sound convincing?

 

[anchor31]

Don''t lose hope, Wren, there''s still a chance he might surprise you! Waiting is hard, but it often turns out to be for the best. (Yup, I''m trying to convince myself too here

.)

 

[Cathers]

how long have you been with him, Wren? I have been with my BF for just over 3 years. I(as in "I") have been looking quite a bit for an E-ring, but he seems to be getting really into it as well. The poor man, I feel like all I do is talk about settings, diamonds, diamonds, settings...I find it a bit to be like a mission, finding the perfect setting, and diamond, and he knows how much I love missions! We went to Birks a few weeks before Christmas, and I really liked a particular ring. For some reason, I thought FOR SURE he would ask on Christmas, but, he didn''t. I got a bit grumpy in the afternoon, not really grumpy, but just kinda glum. I was at the sink washing breakfast dishes and he came up behind me and said "I love you Baby, will you Marry me?" of course I replied yes!! I know the ring is coming. Now at least, we are informed consumers, way more than even just a few weeks back. I have to keep telling myself to be patient, we just bought a business...money doesnt grow on trees, and he wants a particular size, cut, colour etc, and he will not compromise. We are going to S''toon on Thursday, and will likely pop into Birks just to take a look again. I am thinking maybe we shouldnt even go there tho, there is kind of no point, if we arent going to buy there, but I guess a girl can dream?


~Cathers

 

[firebirdgold]

I know it hasn''t been nearly as long as most of you LIW''s, we''ve only been together for one year and 7 months.

I think going to birks again and looking is a great idea. It really helps to try things on and get a feel for how they look on. And he''ll get an idea of what you find appealing.

 

[Cathers]

I have a small confession to make....I have a file on my desktop that is entitled "ahem" with my top setting, diamond and website picks. He gets emailed all of the above quite often. Does that make me obsessed?




~Cathers

 

[firebirdgold]

not any more than the rest of us

I''m so bad, not only have I sent my beloved links and pics, and even a quote, but I''ve got about 12 diamonds and 4 diamond/ring combos saved in my whiteflash wishlist. And I sent him my login and password.

I feel a little guilty. I know his budget is petite, but I put a couple of 2-4.5k ring combos in just on the off chance. I hope it doesn''t make him feel bad.

 

[Cathers]

*giggling hysterically* oh THANK GOD its not just me!! my BF says he can''t imagine what we are going to talk about once he actually does present me with a ring?! gimme a break! the wedding bands, of course! jeesh!




~Cathers